by Laura McKenna, HuffPost
Draped in black polyester robes, millions of high school seniors will march across a football field later this month to collect their diplomas ― the exit slip from the neighborhood school that dominated their lives for 15 years. It’s also a finish line of sorts for the tearful parents who believe that they completed the nearly two-decade-long job of raising a quality human being. It’s a time of pride, triumph and butterflies about the future.
My husband and I will be two of those tearful parents of a high school graduate in a couple of weeks. We are beyond proud of our boy, Ian. But our pride is mingled with some irritation and resentment because students with disabilities like my son do not always feel included in this month of graduation parties and rituals. They often remain on the outskirts of school life, even during this special time.
My son Ian is on the autism spectrum, a disability that affects social skills, so he did not have a partner or group of friends to join him at prom earlier this month. Instead, his older brother, Jonah, took the day off from his summer job to escort Ian to the prom. While schools may be slow to find a place for families like mine, sometimes a good-natured big brother can make a difference.
More here.
Apt. 11d 
Loved it, and, especially, ” As I took the obligatory photos on the front lawn, Jonah showed his red-headed brother some men’s catalog-style poses for the camera.” Need to do this with my teen, and I’d never thought of it, foolish me.
I totally spotted the pro poses!
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thanks!!
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Yes, upper schools are very much lacking in social student support for teens with special needs.
What about the kid, like mine, who are only children? Breaks my heart.
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I went to the wrestling picnic (yes, there was an abbreviated wrestling season in the same city where most of libraries and all of our pools are closed) this weekend and I felt like they were celebrating challenges vanquished as well as absolute successes. Don’t know what this looks like for everything else, but I don’t see why there can’t be an awards in school for meeting challenges outside of sports, too.
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This is such a touching story. I cried when I read it. You are very lucky to have 2 amazing boys. I’m very happy for you😊 I wish you and both your sons much success and blessings❤️🌈
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Thank you!
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I am so proud of your Boys for graduating and also for attending Prom.
I am the sister to a wonderfully differently abled sister and I too did not want her or her friends to miss out on Prom. So both myself and my college Bestie took her and two of her friends to their Prom so they wouldn’t miss out on the experience.
I also will say I can relate and connect with Jonah’s experience and feelings on how having a differently abled sibling makes you have a different view of the world and being around others.
Congrats on the Grads and having two amazing sons!
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Thank you!
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What a beautiful story. Siblings definitely are a strong support system for children with disabilities, especially social development. I’m In tears as I read this because I know the helpless feeling of when it comes to social issues. I always feel a great victory when I see children on the spectrum graduate from high school. As a parent with a child on the spectrum I know the challenges finding the appropriate education setting to fit their needs. Great job Ian! Thank you Jonah for being a super big brother! God bless your family!
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Thank you!
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Your article is very special. I noticed you mentioned looking at next steps. Auburn University and Clemson both offer programs that might be a good fit. Whatever path he chooses he will excel because he has a loving, supportive family.
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Thank you. I hadn’t heard about the programs at Auburn or Clemson. Will look into them. Thanks again!
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Such a wonderful story! Congratulations to both of your boys!!! I remember when my son with Autism graduated & attended his high school prom. His date was a very special Teacher, Mrs. Ford a Speech Teacher at CTEA High School in Queens, NY. I will forever be grateful to her for volunteering her time for such a special occasion.
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That’s lovely. So great to have great teachers to support our kids.
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Awwww I hope my 4 yr old and my 6 yr old son( who is on the spectrum) have that kind of love and bond as they get older too. Thanks for sharing. Gives me so much hope.
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Thanks for writing your article! My daughter, now 23, is on the spectrum and was forever on the periphery of a world that just moved way too fast for her socially, in high school. She didn’t go to prom and didn’t express an interest… crowded places and parties have had disastrous results because she never had a “group” of her own who watch out for each other like neuro-typical girls seem to have. I asked the school to connect her with other girls who had the same kind of social issues but the school always seemed to provide the bare minimum to help kids that are different. So many are wrapped up in making their own way that those who can’t keep up, are truly left behind. I’m not sure where I’m headed here but, I totally related with many of your comments about Ian. And what a blessing it is that your boys are close in age and respect each other enough to do something that is so beautifully out-of-the-box.
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I loved all the responses you got on Twitter. You did good with those two.
I share the irritation with your school district. Ten years ago I was in the same position – why on earth is there no recognition all the kids who overcame enormous odds to get there?
Crickets from the school.
Imagine making graduation season one in which they celebrate the entire class, calling out not only the Ivy League admissions and athletes, but the kids who overcame odds, who had different interests and paths. A little “we’re all in this together” TRULY will not scar the poor little Ivy League bound Lacrosse players for life, maybe someone should try it.
Thank god for siblings and extended family and friends get it and celebrate with us.
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