Nah to Kavanaugh

I didn’t write a blog post late last week, because the universe did not need one more hot take on Brett Kavanaugh. But I also knew that nobody wanted to hear about anything else. I handed in an article last Thursday and really, really should be moving on the next one, but it’s not about the Supreme Court or party behavior from the 1980s, so there seems no point in writing it. I actually don’t want to publish anything until the circus is over one way or another, because nobody is going to read it.

Sigh. So, let’s talk about it.

I’m pretty surprised that we didn’t wake up to a letter from Kavanaugh withdrawing his nomination. It was a tough night for him, but a fun night to be on Twitter.

The latest was a New Yorker article that sort of found another woman with a bad story about Kavanaugh. And some tweets by the Creepy Porn Lawyer, Michael Avenatti, who said he some info on gang rapes.

Parties in the 1980s were booze filled — I suppose they still are. There was lots of bad behavior there. Ford’s allegations were extreme, and I would have been horrified if that happened back then. But behavior that was a couple of steps less violent happened frequently. I’m not sure that adults should be judged by teenage lapses in judgment.

The picture that we’re getting of Kavanaugh is that he was a sports-bro. A rich private school kid. James Spader in Pretty in Pink. A entitled golden boy who got the cheerleaders and school awards. I knew that type well. I was alternatively attracted to that type, mostly because they weren’t into me, and repulsed by them for the same reason.

The same age as Kavanaugh, I’m getting IMs from the committee for my 35 year high school reunion right now. They want me to come, but I’m on the fence. It’s not close enough to bop in for an hour and then escape. It will involve an overnight stay in a hotel, if I get a few glasses of wine. I’m not sure that I want to invest that amount of time. There are several people who are going who fit the mold of Kavanaugh, others are reformed and have become sweet and kind.

If Kavanaugh reformed, became modest, self-effacing, and apologetic, would you forgive him?

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14 thoughts on “Nah to Kavanaugh

  1. One of my colleagues, who grew up in another country, suggested in a social media post that excessive,underage, illegal drinking ought to be enough to disqualify Kavanaugh. Uh – I sure hope it doesn’t come to that. But totally agree that sort of drinking and partying was the norm in upper middle and upper class high schools at that time – definitely was at my well to do public high school. There are lots of stories about these sorts of incidents too. There are also lots of guys who were not involved in these sorts of incidents and who intervened when they witnessed them. If it were just the one incident and Kavanaugh was apologetic before this all came out, then maybe I would be willing to forgive. It looks like there were multiple incidents, and apologies would only be to save his skin. So no – not willing at this point. Find one of those guys who weren’t involved in this stuff.

  2. It’s too late. If when it first came out, he had said, as a teenager I was really irresponsible, I drank a lot, I was stupid, but that was a long time ago – even if he didn’t admit to knowing her or remembering the party, and only did the “I probably have a lot to apologize for” kind of apology – that might have worked. Instead he’s allowed the dogs to be sicced on these women, so it’s too late.

    Bush’s “when I was young and irresponsible I was young and irresponsible” worked just fine, even despite the fact that “young” for him included his 30s and he seemed like an idiot. Of course there was nothing like this, at least from what I remember.

  3. OMG, if he had apologized the moment her accusations became public this would all be a non-issue. But he either doesn’t remember (possible) or really thinks he can skate through this…and he probably can. Covering up something bad always ends up worse, even if it was a mistake or a young person’s error. Look even Caitlin Flanagan forgave the person who assaulted her because he said he was sorry. Sorry helps a lot. Maybe men will learn that one day (obviously we are not talking rape that’s a whole different ballgame).

    I do hope boys who act like assholes (and girls!) learn that apologizing and realizing you did something wrong can really help.

    I just wish someone was also asking about his “baseball ticket” debts.

    1. That too.

      There are so many reasons. If he succeeds, it’s because Trump views him as a proxy for the accusations against him and because the Republican party is his now.

  4. Yes, count me in on agreeing that if Kavanaugh had somehow acknowledged that he did the behaviors he was accused of and was sorry about it, I would be fine about that aspect of him. There’s plenty of other icky stuff on which I would base my opposition to his nomination.

    But the sick feeling in my gut all week is kind of overwhelming, and the carte blanche it’s giving men (and women!) to say “Oh, we all did this, it’s not so bad” is rage blackout-inducing. It’s what we keep calling gaslighting (though I suspect that term is a little overused right now). It’s people telling women “It didn’t happen” or “If it did happen, you have no right to be traumatized.”

    I have my own stories, my own traumas, that I find I just can’t write about and which are basically my own to deal with. But there is one thing that happened this week. To be very vague, 30+ years ago, someone told me something, and I didn’t believe them. So I got in touch this week and told them I believed them and apologized. Because I couldn’t bear the idea of continuing the gaslighting one more second.

    This shit happened. We all need to own up to it and try to be better people.

  5. I certainly wouldn’t consider Caitlin Flanagan’s rapist for the Supreme Court, and if Brett Kavanaugh had engaged in a premeditated attempted rape, even in high school, I would also consider that disqualifying. (Something much less, like cornering a girl at a high school party and trying to kiss her, would be different.)

    1. However, I continue to rely on my girl, neoneocon, who has what no one else here has, graduate degrees in both law and psychology, as to the unreliability of 35 year old memories, even those offered in good faith, and to believe that the accusations against Kavanaugh are fabricated. Those who don’t want access to the relevant scientific and professional literature should not bother clicking the link. https://www.thenewneo.com/2018/09/18/memory-and-witnesses-victims/

      1. Did she teach you everything about reverse psychology too?

        While memory is indeed an issue, the people who want Kavanaugh on the court are sure behaving in ways that are hard to explain if they don’t believe the accusations are true and they are in the best position to know of anyone who isn’t an eyewitness.

    1. I’m not sure why. WordPress flagged your comment with a link as a concern. Maybe that’s it. I can lift the security filters that flag comments that look like spam, but then the spambots might invade. Let me know if you still have issues.

  6. Meanwhile, Kimba Wood voluntarily withdrew her nomination to be US Attorney General when it came to light that she had hired an undocumented worker to be her nanny, even though she had paid Social Security taxes for the employee… I realize that there is a difference between the facts in her case and the allegations in Kavanaugh’s but still, the difference in content of each scandal grates.

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