The High Maintenance Wife

GINGRICH-articleInline I just came back from the gym where I endured two MSNBC segments on Callista Gingrich, the Yoko Ono of the Republican Party. Gingrich's staff quit en masse, because they thought that Callista was too demanding of Newt's time when he should have been campaigning full time. I guess the final straw was a two week cruise in Greece. 

She also demanded that Newt not have any early morning appearances, because she needed time to get her hair done. 

OK, I know that anyone who lives in Jersey should not be throwing stones here, but what is with that hair? Callista's severe hair and make up makes Cindy McCain look like a hairy armpit, hippy. She's got some serious helmet hair going on there. In what part of the country is this considered attractive? 

27 thoughts on “The High Maintenance Wife

  1. “In what part of the country is this considered attractive?”
    Newt likes it. Check out that Tiffany’s bill!
    It’s actually kind of a Jackie Kennedy look. Just imagine it in brunette and with a pill box hat.
    Severe platinum blonde hair and an off-the-shoulder black lace dress is definitely a mistake for a lady of a certain age, though.

  2. I’m getting Southern as well – over coiffed in that prom queen kinda way. Too made up. Just a bit too “done”.

  3. I think you all misunderstand. Hair like that is a vital part of Newt’s security apparatus. With a bullet-proof ‘do like that, Calista can lean her head in front of Newt to deflect any sniper bullets.

  4. Even more confusing, she is apparently a life-long devout Catholic, yet she went to Luther College.
    (Which btw is not only Lutheran, but Norwegian Lutheran, and I know first hand most Norwegian Lutherans consider German Catholics to be spawn of the antichrist (or Nazis, which is kind of the same thing)).

  5. “I deny that was Jackie hair, even when she was a young woman in the 50’s”
    Jackie’s hair is usually a bit longer, with more of a flip, but it’s a similar concept–hair that knows its place. Here’s a very stiff Jackie pic (the pink outfit with pearls):
    http://www.savvy-women-magazine.com/Fashion/style-icon-jackie-kennedy-onassis.php
    I was thinking of the Michelle Obama connection myself. There’s a whole Jackie Kennedy/Mad Men thing going on, with a very complicated genealogy. We’re making fun of it right now, but what if Callista is actually cutting edge?

  6. Laura, your problem is that you only had boys. If you had kept going til you had a girl, you would recognize Callista as the spitting image of Rothbard from Barbie Swan Lake. Aren’t you glad I come here to bring enlightenment from the distaff side of childhood? dave.s.

  7. My mother is spinning in her grave at the Luther College news. I could care less about her hair and style but I do get the heeby-jeebies from their joint obsession with their movie company.

  8. -hair that knows its place
    When was it that women stopped with the Aquanet stuff? I suppose after the tease and shellac 80s stuff, women just quit because their bangs wouldn’t fit in the car.

  9. and I know first hand most Norwegian Lutherans consider German Catholics to be spawn of the antichrist (or Nazis, which is kind of the same thing)
    This is as good a place as any to link to the intimate connection between Norwegian Black Metal and neoconservatism’s foreign policy variant.

  10. Ok, that hair is southern, from about 30 years ago, at least! Women in the South that I know–and I know a lot of them–have mostly gone for sensible and easy to manage. However, I do know some women, mostly above 70, who still go get their hair done in a similar style to Callista’s. And no, it doesn’t look good on them.

  11. I also see older upper-middle (maybe higher) ladies around here with very smooth bobs, similar to Callista’s, but with pepper-and-salt hair at the Faculty Club. They may wear it with bangs, which would be a big difference. I think it looks pretty good on them. The main problem with CG’s haircut is that I keep thinking–what is holding up that hair at the front? Is it strong enough? What if it lets go? It’s suspenseful.

  12. It’s not the hair, it’s the “work” she’s had done. My kids didn’t believe it at first when I pointed out that she and I are about the same age.
    I wonder, if you hang out with lots of people who frequent plastic surgeons, do you lose track of what’s normal? To my eye, lots of “work” makes someone look older, not younger. It makes the skin much thinner, which I associate with age, and it gives them such funny looking eyes.
    I’m not judging this as a moral issue. As far as I’m concerned, it’s her body, it’s her (Newt’s?) money, and if she wants to go under the knife, that’s her business. I do find it difficult to swallow when I hear of teenagers or actresses in their 20s turning to plastic surgeons for help. But, as I theorized, I think if you see many people in your daily life who’ve had work done, your inner concept of “normal” changes.
    The hair? Well, if I got my hair colored, and used lots of hairspray, I could do that. It’s what you have to settle for when your hair is fine, thin, and straight.

  13. Youb think she’s had work done? I was thinking the opposite, and wondering why someone who is supposedly so vain that she derailed a presidential campaign wouldn’t have done something about that nose.

  14. Barely anybody besides Newt Gingrich wants Newt Gingrich to be president. I have literally never seen anybody on the internet who was jazzed about the prospect of a President Gingrich. He had quite the career as speaker, but he hasn’t held elected office since 1999. Under the circumstances, I think it’s wrong to point at his wife as derailing his campaign.

  15. I think that’s a good point about his wife not being the reason for his derailment. The rats deserting his ship might find it more efficient to blame his wife rather than the fact that the ship is sinking or that the disagree with his course. But it’s probably just a good excuse.

  16. It’s also likely that if Newt wanted to campaign less, he might say that his wife wanted him home and not say that campaigning really sucks and he doesn’t want to do so much of it.

  17. “It’s also likely that if Newt wanted to campaign less, he might say that his wife wanted him home and not say that campaigning really sucks and he doesn’t want to do so much of it.”
    That is very true. He hasn’t had to face that sort of schedule for a long time.

  18. Didn’t Newt allegedly cashier a previous Mrs. Gingrich by telling her that she wasn’t first lady material?

  19. That second picture is frequently re-printed, and I’ve got to believe that it’s a bad photo, the result of trying to keep your eyes open in the face of a flash, and catching the expression at a particularly bad moment. But, I guess it could be the result of eye surgery.
    I think there are environments in which surgery really becomes the new normal (a friend amused me the other day by saying that his mom & sisters had all assumed he’d get his nose altered along with the deviated septum, because that’s what they and everyone they’d done did). I also think, though, that public figures make bad surgery choices because they’re building their faces for the camera and not for life. So, they pick a nose or an eye or a face that looks good when it’s photographed with a ring flash and touched up, rather than what looks good when you’re in the same room. Politicians have it tough ’cause in addition to that problem, they have people out there who are actively looking for bad pictures of them.

  20. About plastic surgery – my mom spends winters in Florida (about 45 mins out of West Palm Beach). Her condo complex is pretty nice and her friends are all quite comfortable, comfortable enough to have 2 homes, but not stratospherically rich (I mean, in a global sense they’re all fabulously wealthy, but compared to the real rich of America they’re not). Anyway, she’s given up being surprised at how many of the women she knows have had “work done.” I’d guess about 75% of them. So in that setting, it does seem to be a kind of a norm.
    (I get the impression that these women fall into 2 categories: relatively young widows who hope to marry again, or well-provided-for SAHMs [kids grown and moved out] in marriages where one of the implied covenants is that the woman shouldn’t “let herself go.” After all, the husband provides material support, and the wife makes him happy in immaterial ways, including looking pretty.)
    (That’s not at all supposed to sound catty, by the way, just the best way I can describe it.)

  21. I just looked at the Wikipedia entry and realized that Calista Gingrich is younger than me. Wow, I would never have guessed that. I think I look younger, too. Just asked my daughter and she said, yup Calista looks older (and, really creepy).
    Maybe it has something to do with the really fair skin? That it’s difficult to protect it well enough to avoid looking old?

  22. bj
    My guess is it’s the platinum blonde hair. No one who is not naturally that color looks good with hair that white. If you’re going for a punk rock look a la Gwen Stefani, you can maybe pull it off, but otherwise it looks like old lady hair. Also, the treatment required to get hair like that makes hair the texture of old lady hair too.

  23. What?? She’s only 45?? Holy crap. She looks like she’s 65. I guess that marrying a fogey turns you into a fogey.
    Hmmm. Better tell Hef that I’m not interested.

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