With rolls of tattooed, hairy flesh spilling over inner tubes, families and young people were swept through a faux Hawaiian jungle on the fast moving current of a not-so-lazy river. I was there with them. And I had a marvelous time, thank you very much.
Volcano Bay, the water park where I alternated between floating on a tube and drinking Pina Coladas, was part of the massive Universal Studios Orlando. With 541 acres of rides, shows, and experiences, Universal pulls in 22 million customers every year. Visitors stroll down the streets of Hogsmead and Diagon Alley from Harry Potter, take 3D rides that put them in the middle of a chase between Potter and Voldemort, guzzle Butterbeer at English taverns (it’s gross).
We visited at Universal, because our neuro-spicy son turned 21. He might be able to build his own computer, but he’s still enjoys attractions like this. Which is actually delightful. He loved everything, and, unlike his older brother, is perfectly happy to hang out with his old parents. Walking the streets of fake Harry Potter land, he smiled at the Aspie girls walking down the streets in wizard robes and wands.
If we were didn’t have a son who still appreciated amusement parks, would we have been there? Absolutely not. We’re taking our preferred vacation in June to Italy to go wine tasting and visit the Uffizi gallery. Yet, we still had a great time riding rides and people watching.
7 thoughts on “The Weekend in Orlando: Visiting Different Worlds With a Noon Cocktail Ain’t Bad”
“It’s great fun to toggle between being an urbane, cultured elite one day and a noon drinker in an inner tube the next.”
Toggle away. Urbane, cultured elites “noon drink” (enjoy) different stuff than fat people with excessive tats you don’t like (I hate all tats). We’re all escaping our own issues. I know you are trying to connect, but it comes off as condescending.
Didn’t mean to be condescending, but simply sharing our impressions. People outside of the NY area are — in general — bigger and have more tattoos. We simply do not regularly see large numbers of people with full sleeves and neck tattoos. It’s hard not to notice those differences. There is a lot of data about the differences in weight and health metrics in different parts of the country. One can note those differences, I think, objectively. I also wasn’t really trying to connect. Just sharing impressions.
Florida is fucknuts. All the worst people on the local forums here are talking about how great Florida is and how they moved there. I think they might even be telling the truth about having moved.
MH said, “Florida is fucknuts. All the worst people on the local forums here are talking about how great Florida is and how they moved there.”
This is going to be interesting, because Trump is currently running down Florida…from Florida.
“Trump himself issued a lengthy swipe at DeSantis and said Florida “ranks among the worst in the Country” on education, crime, affordability and yes … he dinged the governor’s handling of Covid-19. In his statement, Trump faulted DeSantis for Florida’s Covid-19 death rate — a point that echoes some of the governor’s Democratic critics. “HARDLY GREATNESS THERE!” Trump said. “The fact is, Ron is an average Governor, but the best by far in the Country in one category, Public Relations, where he easily ranks Number One—But it is all a Mirage, just look at the facts and figures, they don’t lie—And we don’t want Ron as our President!””
Well, we can always rely on MH to tell us who to hate, in an especially large geographic swath. Where do you live MH, so I can know who are fucknuts?
Laura said, “We simply do not regularly see large numbers of people with full sleeves and neck tattoos.”
It helps to go to the beach!
I never realize how many people have massive tattoos until we visit the local water park.
No judgment on tattoos themselves. Whatever. I don’t really have the time or attention span to do anything more than get my nails done once a month. Every couple of months, I get a Jersey hair thing, which takes two hours. Total torture. I can’t imagine doing something that takes more time and is painful and costs a lot of money. But if some people thinks it’s fun, more power to them.
While I’m a hundred percent in favor of supporting people with different body types, I do think it’s weird that it’s no longer okay to talk about health issues around weight. Obesity leads to early death — I think that shouldn’t be taboo to make that point. And people are just bigger in Florida. Shrug.
But, you know, I didn’t see a single person smoking or vaping. Americans are healthier in some ways, less so in others.
Comments are closed.