Several recent studies conclude that men report that they are spending more time with their kids than ever before. However, these Mr. Moms aren't being noticed by their workplaces or by their wives. The New York Times reports,
In the 2008 Families and Work report, 49 percent of men said they
provided most or an equal amount of child care. But only 31 percent of
women gave their husbands that much credit. The perception gap
continued for cooking and housecleaning — more than 50 percent of men
say they do most or half the work; 70 percent of wives say they do all
Sometimes Steve will try to quantify the work he does at home. He'll estimate that does about 30-40% of the work in the house and with the kids. While the weekends are generally 50-50 — when I'm working, he'll do even more — the weekdays are all mine. I do about 90-95% of the work during the week, regardless of my employment status, because he has an intense, inflexible job. I used to be ticked off about that situation, but I'm just used to it now.
Still, it is amusing that Steve perceives himself as a more equal partner. There's probably a lot of reasons that Steve (and other dads) perceive that they are doing a larger percentage of work. Steve was an equal parent when Jonah was born, until he took on this new job. He also would like to be doing more than he is. I also don't tell Steve about everything that I'm doing, because it's a lot of boring little chores.
I do appreciate everything he does. He is certainly more involved in parenting and house chores than my dad ever was. It's just not a 50-50 split.
UPDATE: GeekyMom was recently blogging about the distribution of housework between herself and her husband.