Terry Martin Hekker writes today’s Modern Love column of the Times. Terry is reeling from a nasty divorce.

So I was predictably stunned and devastated when, on our 40th wedding anniversary, my husband presented me with a divorce. I knew our first anniversary would be paper, but never expected the 40th would be papers, 16 of them meticulously detailing my faults and flaws, the reason our marriage, according to him, was over.

Terry was completely devoted her life to her family and community and even wrote a book about the virtues of at-home life. Suddenly, her husband ditched her, and then the divorce court kicked her in the ass leaving her with nothing. The judge advised her, at age 69, to undergo some job training.

Terry bitterly regrets doing all the work for her community and family and wishes she had protected herself better.

I think it is time to rehaul divorce laws.

If one spouse is entirely responsible for the childcare or takes a more flexible job in order to stay at home on sick days, then that person is entitled to 50% of the other spouse’s salary after being married for a long period of time. Yes, that 50% of future earnings.

The larger earning spouse is able to manage a high stress profession, because the other person does the pick up from childcare, the parent teacher meetings, takes the car for the tune up, and makes dinner for the family. His or her mind is free to be entirely devoted to work, because the personal life is ably managed at home. The lesser earning spouse might have worked to put the other through law school or medical school. Together they made an investment in the larger earning spouse. And both deserve compensation.

In addition, the lesser earning spouse has no chance of catching up. If she never worked, then she’s really in hot water. Who is going to hire a divorced woman in her late 50s?

In addition to the 50% of future earnings, I believe there should be other penalties added on for malice and poor taste. If the man leaves his long time wife for another woman, he loses another 5%. If the other woman is younger, another 5%. If the other woman is the same age as the kids from the first marriage, it’s 10%. If the bimbo’s name ends in an “i” and the scumbag met her at Hooters, it’s another 10% off.

Anyhow, that’s how it would work in my court. Ann Crittenden had an excellent chapter on all this in The Price of Motherhood.