The past two-three years were really tough for us. My youngest suddenly developed epilepsy and ended up in the hospital. We were terrorized by a pandemic, like everyone, but my crew were hit especially hard by the shutdowns. They are still rebuilding their lives. My workload at home tripled with massive dinners for a home of boys and with unexpected home repairs. The boys needed emotional, academic, and social support. Then we spent an entire year helping our son with autism find a quality transition program. I woke up at 2am with panic attacks about the money given to an attorney. Through all that, I maintained writing and my other side hustles.
Things are MUCH better. Yet, things are still a bit crazy. I’m still watching two webinars per week to get help for Ian. I’m still filling out government paperwork. We still spend one day every weekend taking him to a museum or a concert, and we still still drive him to therapists and tutors two evenings per week. I’m still going to school board meetings. I’m still writing two newsletters. I’m still writing articles. I’m still shipping out books for my books shop. I’m still hosting massive extended families dinners. I’m still jogging. I added new things, like substitute teaching and running for local office.
I am realizing that I’m super exhausted. I have to slow down. I really have no choice. I have three or four article pitches that are written in my head and need to be typed up. I can’t do it. I can’t make myself open up a google.com and put words on the screen. My body is telling me to slow down.
I’m going to continue doing everything, just at half capacity for the rest of the year. I need to make a list of everything that I’m doing and make some tough choices. The problem is that I LIKE everything that I’m currently doing. I like cooking for my family, taking Ian to museums, creating content, making money, getting involved in local life. I’m not a workaholic, because lots of those activities are not officially “work.” I”m more a do-aholic. I do a lot, but at this moment, I have to do a lot less.
December is usually my craziest month with writing deadlines and holiday preparations, but this year, I’m going to try to only do things that I really love, to reduce obligations, and to spend lots of time on the sofa reading books.