A friend got her muffin tops sucked out of her body and is recovering in bed for two weeks. I really had no idea that there such a huge recovery time with lipo. I would rather go for a daily jog than get lipo, but daily jogs can not repair my saggy neck. I might feel the need to get that problem area surgically altered in the future. Of course, I would never go this far.
Would you ever get plastic surgery? What would you do?
Apt. 11d 
If it’s elective, I’m going to ask for a new hip.
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Hard to imagine, but, I’ve never been invested in how I look. My chin actually looks better than it did when I was younger with a rounder face. I am annoyed by my neck these days but not enough to let someone take a scalpel to my skin.
Not sure what to say about Madonna except that anyone can look like anything in a photo. My kiddo introduced me to instagram filters and I was simultaneously impressed and creeped out by what they can do. I hear that people use them on baby videos these days, to make their babies skin look perfectly smooth (and to cartoonify their eyes).
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bj wrote, ” I am annoyed by my neck these days but not enough to let someone take a scalpel to my skin.”
We’ve all seen some examples of people going one or two plastic surgeries too far.
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I’m scared of plastic surgery, but I kind of love the idea of permanent hair removal. I’m also starting to get some leg veins that I’d like to have “done.”
Speaking of cosmetic procedures, one of the possible explanations for Putin’s weirdly round face is that he’s a botox fiend. I know everybody would like him to be ill with something serious, but I’m afraid that I do buy the theory that the reason he periodically disappears for a couple of weeks every year is that he’s getting work done.
Biden has obviously also had work done, too. It looks good, though. Here’s Biden in 1991:
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/apr/27/jor-biden-anita-hill-clarence-thomas-1991-hearings
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Nah. But I’m probably an outlier. The only cosmetic stuff I use is hair dye, and a tiny bit of tinted lip gloss if going out in the evening (is that a thing anymore?). I don’t even have my ears pierced.
However, if there were a real reason (burns, scars, etc.) – I’d be ‘in like Flynn’.
I must admit, I do have a bit of sympathy for the people who’ve lost a lot of weight and need excess skin removed. And there was a whole lot of angst among my Mum friends (once they’d stopped having babies) about getting stretch marks and or caesar scars ‘dealt with’ (I didn’t get why, either)
I find the whole ‘Kardashian’ thing totally bemusing!
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I’ve always been a not ever having plastic surgery kind of girl. Recently though, when I stand in front of the mirror in the morning and pull my face back and up, I think – maybe. But then I think of the nice vacation I could take (like really nice I am sure) for the same price as that surgery and the time off for recovery, and conclude – probably not.
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Depending on how I think about it, maybe I already did. About a decade ago I had jaw surgery to correct a serious dental issue. While it really wasn’t cosmetics that motivated it, it wasn’t like I couldn’t live without it. People do get similar surgery for cosmetic purposes. The recovery was pretty unpleasant though, and I would not want to experience that again unless really necessary. I guess it’s other procedures are less invasive and have less of a recovery, but still. Recovery from surgery sucks, and I would do a lot to avoid it.
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Yes and no. I have pierced ears, so I suppose I’ve already had it. I’ve had dental surgery, which I consider functional rather than cosmetic. I’ve never colored my hair, and have no plans to start. I would have plastic surgery if I had had a terrible accident.
I have migraines, and at times I’ve thought of having botox to treat that. If the migraines get worse, I’ll look into it.
I don’t have strong feelings about other people’s plastic surgery. In most cases, though, when someone is older, it is a very artificial look. I think it may look better in photos than in real life. In real life, your face should move. Skin gets thinner when you age, so the pulling is obvious. And there’s the telltale folds around the ears.
If you hang out with people who’ve had a lot of surgery, I think you adjust to the look, and don’t find it artificial. It’s a terrible idea for young actresses, as it makes them look like 50 year old women with facelifts.
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I do think we get used to what we see around us and I think people depend too much on the picture version of themselves for what they think they should look like, especially in this day of selfies (and, ugh, zoom calls).
I do think that in the older days, this was an issue mostly for actresses, TV presenters, . . . who needed to look right on camera and pictures. Now, though many more of us are associated with our image. I’ve noted this now about scientists, who now have pictures attached to their bios & video presentations and how much that matters.
I came of age in a very small clique of women who saw attention to one’s looks (makeup, hair, . . . ) as a sign of unseriousness. It was OK to look good, but only with no effort (and no one was really willing to put in effort, so there wasn’t secret effort, like getting up realy early and hiding to blow dry one’s hair). Those women are still largely like that, including me, as 50+ year olds.
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Yes, the late 80s / early 90s lesbian scene I was part for was like that – very simple grooming, short hair, no makeup. Looking at photos from that time I’m struck by how good we all look – because we were young!
Confession: I just taught myself to apply foundation with a sponge.
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Marianne wrote, “Confession: I just taught myself to apply foundation with a sponge.”
At least you aren’t contouring, right?
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Marianne wrote, “Yes, the late 80s / early 90s lesbian scene I was part for was like that – very simple grooming, short hair, no makeup. Looking at photos from that time I’m struck by how good we all look – because we were young!”
Circa 1994, I owned several plaid flannel shirts and wore them a lot.
It was a simpler time.
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Interesting to hear that I was not the only one — we prided ourselves on our utter geekiness (and, it didn’t necessarily involve short hair, which can look cared for).
There’s an article in our newspaper about what happens to fashion in the area if you take already casual and laid back fashion approach and add the pandemic where everyone stayed home. Kiddo has indeed worn pajamas to school and not just on pajama days and took his standardized tests wearing pajamas.
He has been easing into hard pants and is wearing a suit to the prom. But he really doesn’t understand girls who wear dresses with trains.
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Is it different now? in the 2020s lesbian culture?
The group I’d describe is girl geeks (1980’s, famous quote when a costume designer toured the campus for a movie: “they look like they get dressed in the dark” — she was talking mostly about the men, because there weren’t many women, but it was true about the women, too, or many of them). The culture among girl geeks, in the 202s, is completely different now, and noticeable in the images of women at the same university.
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AmyP: “At least you’re not contouring”.
LOL! I learned how to use makeup in my late 30s, reluctantly as my face aged. I’m an amateur.
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AmyP – I had my share of flannel shirts. Honestly I was a very unfashionable nerd till my mid 20s. I was tall and gawky and I had no idea how to find clothes that looked good on me. I feel like clothing for tall women became more mainstream by the mid 90s so that helped. A few friends also helped me.
BJ asked “Is it different now? in the 2020s lesbian culture? ”
I’m not sure. The young people have different concepts of sexuality and gender than we did so it’s hard to say. Lesbians my age (mid 50s) vary from what is also called midwest mom look (short hair, minimal makeup, comfy clothes) to what I call sophisticated lesbian look (think Mae Martin but my age) to just plain mainstream feminine.
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I’m a baby about discomfort (no piercings, not even ears, no tattoos) so I think I would skip plastic surgery unless it was reconstructive after illness or injury.
Years ago a friend had a salivary gland benign tumor removed. Her incision was similar to a facelift but on one side (behind the ear) and the pain and healing after were not fun at all. She couldn’t chew and sleep was difficult. We still refer to it as her facelift.
I don’t blame show business people for getting work done – it’s a tough business.
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I’ve had a few friends have gastric bypass surgery and then have skin surgery and that was so right for them. I’m in favour of what makes people feel comfortable in their skin, literally. For me I generally would rather manage it on the Feelings End rather than the Surgery End, but whatever.
That said, I have pretty hooded eyelids (eyes?) which, when I was in media and occasionally had pro hair and makeup done, the artist would always say “oh wow, I’m sure you’ll be taking care of that soon” about. Apparently it’s a thing. My position was always no but I think it may get to a point where it impacts on my vision, so that would be a time to do it.
I also had a lot of invites to Botox parties at that time that I turned down. I thought I would rather age naturally. Now that seems like late 30s/early 40s arrogance speaking, especially as now I am at the point where I look in the mirror and think “oh my god!” some days. But then again, I think that was the right choice for me.
I grew my grey out over the pandemic – in a fluke of good timing I’d opted for high/low lights instead of dye just before things shut down because I was curious to see where my natural colour was at. I’ve had a skunk stripe since my 20s and had dyed my hair for years and years so had no idea how grey everywhere else was. The answer is…pretty grey! I’ve kept it so far but am getting blond foils next week to see if that compromise works for me. If I’m job searching in the next year I’ll probably have to dye my hair though, to get back into digital.
So I guess my view on things is fluid and I reserve the right to change my mind.:)
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Jenn said, “I’ve had a few friends have gastric bypass surgery and then have skin surgery and that was so right for them.”
One of our younger relatives lost what had to have been about 100-150 pounds, and she basically had to get the skin surgery after that.
One of our older European relatives did one of those weight loss surgeries and while I don’t know the details, I guess he regretted it a lot. I personally was kind of thinking of doing the surgery and then I read a description of it online and then I was like NEVERMIND!
“I grew my grey out over the pandemic – in a fluke of good timing I’d opted for high/low lights instead of dye just before things shut down because I was curious to see where my natural colour was at.”
I’m from an early grey family, so it’s always been an option I’ve considered, but didn’t feel like doing yet. When the pandemic hit, I was really happy I hadn’t started coloring. I also just don’t currently have the funds for that kind of optional routine maintenance.
“If I’m job searching in the next year I’ll probably have to dye my hair though, to get back into digital.”
That is definitely a concern. If/when I try to get a job, I’ll probably be coloring my hair.
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“If I’m job searching in the next year I’ll probably have to dye my hair though, to get back into digital.”
That is definitely a concern. If/when I try to get a job, I’ll probably be coloring my hair.”
That stinks that it’s a real concern. There’s no way that a bloke in his 40s/50s would be dying the grey away.
But gotta live in the world the way it is, rather than the way we’d like it to be.
I’ve got several friends growing out (or into) their greys – and it looks good on them. I feel that I just look totally washed out with predominantly grey/white streaks (very dark hair, went grey early on – first white hair at 16! – and have been dying it since my mid 20s). I could compensate with makeup – but I’d rather dye it every 3 weeks, than put on makeup every day!
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Circling back to the previous discussion of the Venn diagram overlap between 90s lesbian, and mainstream Gen X and Pacific NW taste, I have a story which I swear is true.
Some years ago, I ordered myself a pair of women’s Merrell mocs from Amazon. It was an older version of this:
https://www.merrell.com/US/en/jungle-moc/018473519073.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&adpos=&scid=scplp018473519073&sc_intid=018473519073&gclid=Cj0KCQjwvqeUBhCBARIsAOdt45YesoGi0P_k2oz6ziqEYmvS8Lk9rghrEb8YNQCfdItVs_4jfWTl-6YaAnMgEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
Anyway, on the strength of my sensible shoe purchase, Amazon tried to get me to order a k.d. lang CD.
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The algorithms aren’t omniscient. Amazon has decided I have grandchildren, likely due to my children’s ages. It’s like a phantom family. We’ve progressed through wedding favors, to baby showers, to the Christmas toy catalogues. I know my daughter found it amusing that she was getting at the same time both wedding suggestions and “single forever” suggestions.
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Hee!
I also once had a baby company (Pampers?) decide that I had a phantom baby.
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Famous story of Target starting to send diaper offers, etc. to a household, the dad got outraged, turned out his daughter had been getting pregnancy tests, prenatal vitamin. She was NOT happy that her news was communicated involuntarily to her parents.
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AmyP that is hilarious. If you can, read Meghan Daum’s essay “Honorary Dyke”.
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Fantastic title!
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My mother has a simple rule to define what’s a sport. If you have a chance of being seriously injured or killed, it’s a sport. Otherwise, it’s not a sport. So, figure skating counts. Ballroom dancing, no. Bridge, no. Equestrian, yes; swimming, well, I suppose you could drown.
Likewise, I suppose there’s a heuristic for plastic surgery. We’re really debating the morality of surgery, rather than its utility. I find faces that don’t move to be unsettling, rather than youthful. I know, I know, the best are very good and subtle. There is a point of no return, and I wish surgeons would refuse to operate on people who are harming themselves with further surgery. I would not forbid it, but some problems cannot be solved with scalpels.
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I certainly dressed like a lesbian in the late 80s and 90s. I still like black tights, Doc Martens, and a mini skirt. I think it was the manic pixie girl look.
I’m ready to have some work done on my neck, but I barely have the attention span to get a manicure. I don’t know how I could handle a girlie procedure that is more involved than that.
I do cover up my grays and the washed out reds now, but I’ve let it go for a while. I do wonder what it would look like if I let it go.
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