Who’s having a meltdown? I am! I am!
Okay, it’s mostly irrational. I can do everything, but it just feels very overwhelming. Ian has to be transported to his far-away school to work the AV equipment at a show tonight. (First time. Fingers crossed.) Tomorrow is his band concert, so that means that Steve will need to pre-tie his tie this evening. I’ve done it before with the help of a YouTube tutorial, but a Windsor knot is not one of my strengths.
There’s a very ragged x-mas list in my purse that still has some items to be purchased. Gift cards for his aide and tutors have to be purchased and packaged. Jonah’s coming home tonight, so the fridge needs to be filled. There are still bins surrounding the half decorated tree. I have no idea what I’m going to cook for Christmas Eve. The office has to be cleaned out and the guest bed arranged for the in-laws, who arrive on Sunday.
There’s work, too. I wrote a personal essay about Ian and marching band that I have to shop around. At 2:00, I’m watching a webinar about reading reforms. I have to write Friday’s newsletter. It was mostly written in my brain, but with all the stress, my words evaporated. I can’t even remember the topic.
Yesterday, I checked some chores off the list, like getting nice Santa chocolates and buying new pants for Ian who keeps growing. We actually got the card out this year. But yesterday wasn’t a high productivity day, because I had to drive Steve back and forth to the gastoenterologist for that horrible procedure that all 50-year olds must do, if they have a family history of colon cancer.
He lost about five pounds in 24 hours. [Insert smiling poop emoji.]
I am grateful that I have a flexible job that enables me to do all those family chores, but perhaps I would be more willing to accept imperfections, if I had less freedom to manage my own time.
Since I started writing this post, I learned that one of my articles made the “most popular list of 2019” for the 74. Also, I sold the marching band article to a great place. And I sold another book on my Etsy shop.
So, I’m going to take a breather. The special ed moms in town are having a luncheon at a fancy steak place around here. I can’t have a glass of wine with them because all the other nonsense in my day, but I can bullshit for a while and put on a cute outfit.
Hope you’re all keeping sane. I’ll be back before the end of the week.
Apt. 11d 
” that horrible procedure that all 50-year olds must do, if they have a family history of colon cancer.” Last time I got hooked up to the roto-rooter they said afterwards that I shouldn’t divorce my wife, buy a car, or sell the house for three days… So I didn’t!
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“Since I started writing this post, I learned that one of my articles made the “most popular list of 2019” for the 74. Also, I sold the marching band article to a great place. And I sold another book on my Etsy shop. ”
Yay! Maybe that means you should write more posts :-).
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There’s an unpleasant stretch of time where school and community Christmas obligations overlap with heavy family Christmas obligations. You know that week after Thanksgiving when you can spend all week just keeping up with emails? It gets better once the school and community Christmas stuff is over. Things went more or less OK for us, but I did roll into a 1st grade Christmas party this morning having contributed NOTHING. I also wimped out this past weekend on taking one of my kids to a class party out in the far exurbs–but I had really good excuses. Oh, yeah, and there was that birthday party this past weekend that I brought a grocery store gift to…I did a lot of other stuff right, though!
Fortunately, kids and husbands can decorate trees and wrap gifts.
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Happy Christmas.
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Here’s another mental health saver:
Husbands can buy gifts for their own family and do their own Christmas cards, if any.
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And adult children can do laundry, buy groceries, tidy up rooms, run a vacuum cleaner, clean bathrooms, etc.
Have you started a family cookbook? My cousins and I are trying to figure out how our grandmother created one special cookie.
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One of my friends says that while she has to handle all the mental/planning labor for Christmas, she has learned that she can say, “I’m going out for an hour; while I’m gone the decorations need to go up on the tree” or “x needs to be baked” and her kids/husband will do it. And if Jonah can drive, send him to the grocery store himself!
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Don’t celebrate Christmas and have calmed our Hanukkah, which was always just our nuclear family, even further (we light candles, make latkes, but only on the days of, and this year, that will be in Hawaii). I’ve always wondered why some of the celebration can’t be spread out — the true Christmas stuff, of course, is at Christmas, but why can’t offices hold their holiday party in January? And why can’t we have a cookie swap in March? I’m always ready for cookies in March. What about spring equinox instead of winter solstice celebrations?
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Christmas is a season running from Christmas Day to Epiphany. That is, January 6th, not until you have a sudden and striking insight.
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bj said, “Don’t celebrate Christmas and have calmed our Hanukkah, which was always just our nuclear family, even further (we light candles, make latkes, but only on the days of, and this year, that will be in Hawaii). I’ve always wondered why some of the celebration can’t be spread out — the true Christmas stuff, of course, is at Christmas, but why can’t offices hold their holiday party in January? And why can’t we have a cookie swap in March? I’m always ready for cookies in March. What about spring equinox instead of winter solstice celebrations?”
Social is kind of already is spread out between Dec. 1 and 25, which is part of the problem. There’s about a 3 week period at the beginning of December where every entity one has contact with has some at least one event, and of course if you or your kids are musical, there are music performances (we had one museum performance, one nursing home Christmas show-and-singalong, plus an evening school Christmas service).
There’s also the issue of the gradual accretion of family traditions. I did cookie house construction with my kids ONCE and it has turned into a yearly event. It’s fun and we usually invite a couple friends to join us, but it’s one more thing. My youngest has also decided that doing a gingerbread house kit is a yearly tradition. Oh, yeah, and the Christmas season coincides with the end of fall term–hence grading and grade submission for my husband.
It kind of helps that our family does our Christmas starting Dec. 24 and I’ve made peace with the fact that our Christmas cards and photobooks may or may not get out before Jan.
MH said,
“Christmas is a season running from Christmas Day to Epiphany. That is, January 6th, not until you have a sudden and striking insight.”
Right.
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I’ve made peace with the fact that our Christmas cards and photobooks may or may not get out before Jan.
Do you have enough Eastern European background (Uniates, maybe?) that you can claim to be on the old calendar?
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“Do you have enough Eastern European background (Uniates, maybe?) that you can claim to be on the old calendar?”
Sadly, no, but hopefully better late than never? A lot fewer people do Christmas cards now (probably due to being in regular touch via Facebook or whatever), so hopefully those of us who manage to get a bit of grace on the timing. (I don’t do Facebook, so I kind of have to do a yearly check-in letter or email with anybody I’m not in regular touch in but want to stay connected to. I’ve occasionally skipped doing it entirely, and it leaves a big hole in my social life.)
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Yes, I know the 1-20 grind (it doesn’t matter if you celebrate Christmas, since, as you say, everybody, even non-religious organizations plan events in that period). That’s why I’m wondering why some of those events can’t be spread out. I guess the shopping ones are tied to Christmas (like markets, craft fairs, etc.) and, people are looking for celebrations since it’s dark and cold and rainy (or snowy).
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bj said, “Yes, I know the 1-20 grind (it doesn’t matter if you celebrate Christmas, since, as you say, everybody, even non-religious organizations plan events in that period). That’s why I’m wondering why some of those events can’t be spread out. I guess the shopping ones are tied to Christmas (like markets, craft fairs, etc.) and, people are looking for celebrations since it’s dark and cold and rainy (or snowy).”
While we’re griping, at some point I realized that somewhere around Nov. 15, people get REALLY flaky. There’s about 6 weeks out of the year where you should not/cannot start any new project that requires help from any other human beings.
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And why can’t we have a cookie swap in March? I’m always ready for cookies in March.
Mardi Gras. But do it with king cake, which is even better than cookies.
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The ones they make here have ridiculous amounts if sugar on top. I have to take them to the sink and clean it off before I can eat it.
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Yeah, my Christmas planning/doing starts today. UGH.
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I’m going to put the tree up tomorrow.
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Ours went up yesterday, and the kids will decorate today. That makes us forethoughtful?
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We somehow got our photobooks finished, printed and mailed out today.
That leaves our nuclear family Christmas (not very hard) and Christmas emails and cards.
We got our 7-year-old a small Christmas tree of our own and I took her to the dollar store to pick up some ornaments.
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Here’s my current Christmas card philosophy:
–photobooks for close blood relatives (grandmas and grandpas and our siblings), doubling as our Christmas card to them (we send out 7 of those)
–Christmas texts to people I text with but that I don’t see regularly (if I see you every month, no Christmas card for you!)
–Christmas emails to people I email with (more substantive if I am in less frequent touch)
–physical cards for anybody I lack the ability to text or email (only three this year)
I mostly managed the photobooks, texts and emails earlier, but I only now got around to the cards, which by this time are New Year’s cards. (Hey, as long as it’s still January, right?) I picked up some very pretty Hallmark note cards at the dollar store that had white fleur de lis on a gold background. I finally did those tonight, and I guess I’m officially done with Christmas.
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Ha. Congratulations!
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