Who’s having a meltdown? I am! I am!
Okay, it’s mostly irrational. I can do everything, but it just feels very overwhelming. Ian has to be transported to his far-away school to work the AV equipment at a show tonight. (First time. Fingers crossed.) Tomorrow is his band concert, so that means that Steve will need to pre-tie his tie this evening. I’ve done it before with the help of a YouTube tutorial, but a Windsor knot is not one of my strengths.
There’s a very ragged x-mas list in my purse that still has some items to be purchased. Gift cards for his aide and tutors have to be purchased and packaged. Jonah’s coming home tonight, so the fridge needs to be filled. There are still bins surrounding the half decorated tree. I have no idea what I’m going to cook for Christmas Eve. The office has to be cleaned out and the guest bed arranged for the in-laws, who arrive on Sunday.
There’s work, too. I wrote a personal essay about Ian and marching band that I have to shop around. At 2:00, I’m watching a webinar about reading reforms. I have to write Friday’s newsletter. It was mostly written in my brain, but with all the stress, my words evaporated. I can’t even remember the topic.
Yesterday, I checked some chores off the list, like getting nice Santa chocolates and buying new pants for Ian who keeps growing. We actually got the card out this year. But yesterday wasn’t a high productivity day, because I had to drive Steve back and forth to the gastoenterologist for that horrible procedure that all 50-year olds must do, if they have a family history of colon cancer.
He lost about five pounds in 24 hours. [Insert smiling poop emoji.]
I am grateful that I have a flexible job that enables me to do all those family chores, but perhaps I would be more willing to accept imperfections, if I had less freedom to manage my own time.
Since I started writing this post, I learned that one of my articles made the “most popular list of 2019” for the 74. Also, I sold the marching band article to a great place. And I sold another book on my Etsy shop.
So, I’m going to take a breather. The special ed moms in town are having a luncheon at a fancy steak place around here. I can’t have a glass of wine with them because all the other nonsense in my day, but I can bullshit for a while and put on a cute outfit.
Hope you’re all keeping sane. I’ll be back before the end of the week.