Well, the past few days have been odd. Oddly sucky.
A freak storm blew out our cable and Internet. We traded calls from family members who were stranded without heat. But we couldn't help them, because my kids went all Exorcist, and bodily fluids were shooting out everywhere. After 24 hours, we thought they were in the clear. We put Ian on a school bus, but 20 minutes later, he blew chunks all over the bus. I picked him with rolls of paper towels and plastic bags. Like the Cleaner from a Tarantino movie.
The best way to clean up bodily fluids is to squint your eyes and not breathe in. The squinting is key. Then you can fool your brain that you're cleaning up red marbles and not chunks of undigested carrots or chocolate cake icing and not…
I painted the living room a daring shade of white. I hung a curtain rod and half of the curtains. I'll need another snow storm to finish the job.
We had a really lame Halloween. The kids were too green in the gills to go far. I snarled at them, because Halloween would have been a prime time for me to peep in the homes of my new neighbors. But not even the promise of a full bucket of candy could keep them on the street.
Just a few days ago, I wrote a post about how I was planning to spend less time in front of the computer as part of some sort of New Master Life Plan. Let me just say that I was so wrong, wrong, wrong. I love you, computer and Internet. I'm so massively behind on chores and work. I had really terrible access through my iPhone. Minor searches took ages. Scribbling out a few sentences on the blog took an hour. Internet, I will never dis you again.