Super Bowl Weekend

On Saturday morning, my brother, Chris, called to confer about food for the Super Bowl Party. I was hosting a small family party to watch the game. Now, I don't really care about football. When the game is on, I space out and day dream about get-rich-quick plans, the jiggle on my thighs, and cake. I just can't focus on it. But I love hosting Super Bowl parties, because I love eating chili.

As Chris and I divided up the cooking chores, he told me that his wife had taken both kids to the supermarket. I proceeded to tell Chris about all the benefits of taking your kids shopping in my best older sister know-it-all voice.

Then we took our own kids to Lowe's to hunt for supplies for our bathroom renovation. I had typed out a list of supplies and had print-outs of all the items that we needed from the website, so we wouldn't end up going back to Lowe's again and again. Despite my organized list, Steve and I still had to do a lot of hunting and conferring about the color of tile and the shape of the faucet and all that. Did my kids stand quietly at our side as we made those decisions? No, they did not. Ian lured Jonah into a game of hide and seek. They wanted to line up the carts and form a giant train. They touched things. We turned our backs for a moment and I found them sitting side by side on the demonstration toilets in the center of the bathroom section and pretending to take a poop.

Nice parenting, Laura!

On Sunday, we had a feast of chili and baked potatoes and hotdogs with Steve's homemade sauerkraut. Jonah drew pictures of footballs and taped them all over the house.

Chris told me about a friend of his from UVa who is now a sex guru in Hawaii. He has a temple and a hot tub and acolytes. I'm still laughing. He gives advice on spirituality and touching, and people pay him for this. So, I'm not going to be a sex guru or anything, but I have been wondering about how I can make money by giving inspirational talks. I need to cash in, baby!

Football game? What football game?




8 thoughts on “Super Bowl Weekend

  1. Now I want to become a sex guru for my next career. Or anything that involves me having acolytes.
    Laura in all seriousness I think you could be a social media guru, especially around how you encourage discussion.

  2. I have this horrible feeling that I would be pretty good at giving inspirational talks. Really. (evidence is the way my talks to non-academic audiences are often received). I could even be sincere most of the time. Maybe we should set up a business together. I don’t think I could be a sex guru (though, I will say, I have given pretty successful advice on sex to a couple of undergraduates, which sounds as if it breaches some code of ethics, but seems morally ok to me.

  3. I’m not sure what I could say about encouraging discussion. I’m just lucky that I have a diverse group of readers who aren’t terribly crazy. Just mildly crazy. (winking eye emoticon)
    Alright, you’re on harry b. Inspirational Talks, Inc. Gotta reserve the web address.
    I just finished reading an Edith Wharton short story about a woman who went around to salons of rich folks and gave lectures on history and politics. Wharton mocks her for her superficial knowledge of her subjects and scorns her for her ambition, but this might be a real career track for me.

  4. Great.
    bj — that sounds right. But aren’t tv shows like the bachelor etc some sort of licensed prostitution? A game show in which the prize is having sex with someone?

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