Book Review: George and Sam

(Intro. Part One of this review is here. Part Two is here.)

While Kim Stagliano touches on the difficulties of raising autistic children, Charlotte Moore takes a different tactic in George & Sam: Two Boys, One Family, and Autism. Moore has three boys, two of whom have severe autism. One of her boys is unable to communicate at all, and both have difficulties with food and float through the world.

Moore adores her boys, despite their difficulties. She is able to find beauty and innocence in them. She shows us their humanity even as she describes their odd behaviors. They poop on the sidewalk, wander off from home and end up jumping on the bed of a neighbor's home, lick sugar from an unattended sugar bowl, don't sleep at night, and live in a world of their own.

Unlike the Stagliano book, this book is exceptionally well written. The author is a professional journalist, and this book grew out of a column that she wrote for the Guardian about her sons. It was a pleasure to read.

The other glaring difference between Moore and Stagliano is that Moore doesn't delve into the difficulties that she faced raising them. She never gets bitter. At the end of the book, Moore casually mentions that she and her husband divorced, but doesn't tell us why. Did the kids push them over the edge? How does she manage to maintain a career with all the demands from home? Does she ever imagine what her children would be like if they didn't have autism? Does she ever imagine what her life would be like, if she wasn't raising two autistic children? Does she mourn the life she could have had?

Moore doesn't answer those questions for me, and I'm not sure why. Perhaps, it's the stiff upper lip British thing. She feels that she must remain composure and restrain bitterness and anger at all times. Or perhaps she isn't bound by the same expectations of perfection and achievement that we Americans have. Are imperfections and eccentricities tolerated better elsewhere?

Moore find humor, rather than tragedy, in her children. I think that every parent could benefit from a dose of this.