Like many of you, I have followed the "It Gets Better" vidoes with great interest. Dan Savage's video and the one by a town councilman in Texas were fantastic. But I guess everyone has jumped on the bandwagon, and they've started making videos talking about getting bullied for being nerdy and or being fat.
Gabriel Arana at The American Prospect says that this campaign which was aimed at helping gay kids has lost its steam. "That conversation should begin by acknowledging that general "bullying" is different from the sort of prejudice gay kids are up against. It's one thing to be told you're stupid, a dork, or ugly during high school, and another to be a permanent member of a stigmatized group."
He says that being made fun of for your race or your sexuality is different from being bullied for your weight or your skirt length. It's harder to deal with because the bullies are targetting your very identity.
The "It Gets Better" project started off as a community response to growing up gay in a society where that's not accepted. The gay teen in me — exiled to some remote corner of my consciousness — feels a little less isolated when I see Fort Worth City Council Member Joel Burns talk about his fear of being rejected by his father, and his happiness the day he got engaged. It would have been nice for the public at large to join the conversation, but instead they changed the subject.
Apt. 11d 
I think this is a foolish complaint. Groups have always complained that targeting of their group is *different* from the targeting of other groups. In fact, it took many years for the civil rights community to come around to seeing gay rights as civil rights.
And, if it’s different to be bullied for being “fat” or “ugly” (last I checked those were pretty difficult to change, too), how about for being autistic, or developmentally delayed.
I detest it when oppressed groups get into the battle of whose oppression is “harder.” Hate it.
I’d like to hear Savage’s take. I have some vague hope based on his other writing that he would get why “it gets better” might indeed be an important message for high school outcasts of many stripes to hear.
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The problem with the “It gets better” idea is that it only gets better through college and for some years after that. Later on, it is probably easier to be gay or different, but all kinds of other stuff get worse.
They should call it, “It gets better, then it gets to be a ton of work and needing to earn a living becomes a far bigger hassle than all the bullies put together and you start to be in pain for no reason at all, then, if dad is right, it gets better again. Then, you die.”
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I work at a private k-12 and the conversation definitely has not ended. I was very proud of my students, who sponsored an It Get’s Better – Why Not Now video that challenged the school community to change their behavior so that gay kids wouldn’t have to wait. They’ve planned a follow-up assembly too. And they’re taking it to middle school b/c most of the feedback said, “middle school needs to hear this!”
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“Later on, it is probably easier to be gay or different, but all kinds of other stuff get worse. ”
Really? You look back fondly on your middle school years? Yes, my parents clothed and fed me and I didn’t have responsibility for feeding and clothing anyone, but I don’t think things are harder now. Of course, some of that is my own maturity, but some of it is other people’s.
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Not middle school, but high school, especially after I could drive, was good. College was better.
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I also hate this ranking of oppression and besides maybe starting at the “oh it’s like when they made fun of me for X” stage is where you meet most kids and get them to relate to what the gay kid is going through.
And as a straight black woman who was bullied at a predominantly black school due to something else you can’t change, skin color, and something you don’t want to change, achievement, it’s no different.
No I don’t know what it is to be gay but I felt my very being was attacked too and yes suicide does seem better than facing gym the next day for any bullied kid. So rather than getting upset over who is being focused on try lets focus on teaching better behavior from and toward all students. It all goes back to what your grahdmother should have told you, don’t call anybody out of their name and keep your hands to yourself. If we just stressed that you would have a starting point. You would get rid of the hostility and then you could start talking about accetance or at least tolerance.
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