I suppose it's inevitable that a person with a slightly inflated ego and a dissertation on education policy would think that she could educate their children much, much better than a local school system with a defeated school budget.
Yes, I periodically imagine homeschooling my children. But the school bus pulls up and I happily wave good-bye to the children, so I can read and write without interruptions. The boys happily wave good-bye to me for six hours where they can goof around with their friends. It's perhaps not surprising that most of my homeschooling thoughts happen when the boys are away.
So, how would you homeschool?
During the summer, we do some half-assed homeschooling. I've got an atlas on the floor next to the kitchen table. During dinner, we've been learning the names and capitals of countries. We're using Parragon's Atlas of the World
We also have mandatory reading hours, computer-free hours, and as much physical activity as I can pack in. (The boys and I swam for two hours yesterday, and I'm sore, sore, sore.) We take lots of trips to see friends and to museums.
But things are pretty random, because I know that the kids will learn stuff in school. I can be a dilettante homeschooler. Our educational trip today is to IKEA and to the GAP to buy Steve some new T-shirts.
I suppose if I were really going to homeschool the kids, I would have to set up more of a routine and philosophy. I think I would read some utopian thinkers from the early twentieth century who were all about strong minds, strong bodies — Teddy Roosevelt types. I would make them write essays in the morning and take hikes in the afternoon.
Usually, my homeschooling fantasies come to a screeching halt after a long weekend of bickering children and demands for lunch and wails about being bored. It's tough to get a block of uninterrupted thinking time. So, it's off to the school bus they go. I figure it's easier to plug up the deficiencies in his public school education, than to do everything myself.
For me, homeschooling is much more fun to imagine than to implement.
Related: The Good Classroom
Apt. 11d 
I have *no* homeschool fantasies. our school is excellent, but its excellences reinforces my principle about content knowledge. I’m pretty sure that my knowledge of math, science, and maybe history, literature and economics surpasses those of my kid’s teachers. But they’re better at teaching my children. I think content knowledge saturates. If it’s good enough more isn’t the critical need. The teaching philosophy meshes with mine.
We’ll see what I think as the kids get older and their content needs become greater.
My only equivalent would be foreign travel with the kids. The families who spend a year traveling really intrigue me.
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I’ve had homeschooling fantasies for years, and every time summer comes, I implement them. Our dining room table is set up with fun workbooks/puzzles, etc. We go to fun places and swim, too. We spend hours reading and building with legos. But after a few weeks (the kids have been off of school for a month now), everything we do seems stale. We get bored. And no amount of creative thinking on my part can get us past the staleness.
Thank God for school.
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Anjali — what you’ve described we just call life around here, not homeschooling. We’re doing “expert” projects, the girl is supposed to practice typing, the boy is learning math facts. The boy is doing the little kid’s version of Lego robotics. The girl has plans to write a chapter book.
It’s probably pretty educational but what it lacks is a any attention to areas that aren’t strengths.
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BJ, most of the people I know who do homeschooling do it this way — kids following their own interests and leading the way in what they want to learn.
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Boy did I love to see that school bus come around the corner when the kids were little! Although homeschooling has crossed my mind now and then. Our “homeschooling” now consists of current events discussion at dinnertime.
My concern is the homeschooling zealots who seem to think that since it’s the right answer for them, it’s the right answer for everyone. But I think this country’s ability to offer a free public education to all children is a truly great thing. I wonder if the apparent rise of homeschooling seems like a potential problem to anyone else.
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“But I think this country’s ability to offer a free public education to all children is a truly great thing. I wonder if the apparent rise of homeschooling seems like a potential problem to anyone else.”
Couldn’t it equally well be the sign of a problem with education? Also, homeschooling goes very naturally with improvements in information technology, as well as with progressive educational ideas (“child-centered” learning, a project based approach, student-guided education) that while appealing in theory, aren’t always a success in a large classroom.
I’ll have more to say about quasi-homeschooling later. At the moment, I’m tied up teaching my 5-year-old to read.
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“I wonder if the apparent rise of homeschooling seems like a potential problem to anyone else. ”
I worry about it, but for a different reason. I think schools are a force for treating children as individual citizens of the state (apart from their parents). So, to the extent that homeschooling allows parents to isolate their children from the rest of our citizenry, I have an issue with it.
I do know that people homeschool by following their children’s interests, but I see that as a drawback when it allows lacunae to develop. I think it’s pretty important to have your children address their weaknesses as well as their strengths, and that’s another place where school plays an important role for our kids. The teachers help with this, but so do the other students, whose weaknesses and strengths are different from our kids’.
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I dunno … I have no homeschool fantasies, and I just can’t get past the fact that all the people I know who homeschool are, well, weird.
In Chicago it’s kind of sad. If you’re not fairly well-to-do and you can’t hustle your kid into one of the good buildings within CPS, then your options are essentially A) move to icky distant suburb you can afford, or B) homeschool. While I can envision some of my more interesting and well-adjusted friends taking on homeschooling, it just never works out that way. The only ones who end up down the homeschool path are just weird.
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“The only ones who end up down the homeschool path are just weird.”
We have two homeschooling families in our neighborhood (both with four kids), and I’d amend “weird” to “quirky”. I’m of course not a licensed psychologist, but one of the moms strikes me as being a very likely Aspie, as does one of her kids (who is very sweet, competent, and responsible).
Of course, anybody who is off-beat probably has lots of memories of school being hell, so there is added motivation to homeschool.
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My kids went to public school, and if I had it to do over I’d homeschool them. Totally. Partly because of bad experiences with public school, partly because I believe it would have served my kids better to learn at home, but mostly because I have worked for a law firm that represents the teachers’ union and … enough said.
You think about public school teachers for a minute. They’re only human. Imagine something you’ve read about in the paper, something that made you cringe or outraged you, something that made you say “What were they thinking?” Some teacher has done that, somewhere. And maybe with your kids in the classroom, or at your kids’ school dance or football game, or on your kids’ field trip bus.
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Not sure I want to wade into these comments, but…
We’ve been homeschooling since March ’09, and I would hate to send my son back to school. He’s learning more with far less effort, he’s rekindled his love of learning, we’re closer and more able to enjoy each other, and he’s just plain better adjusted. With a larger group of friends, I should add. Am I weird? I don’t think so. Are my homeschooling friends weird? Actually, they’re a little too straight-laced for my taste. Then again, we are in the suburbs. I think it’s different in the city. (I plan to find out.)
Laura, how would (do) we homeschool? Relaxed eclectic. When we pulled him out of school, I sat down and really thought through the things I consider important for him to have under his belt before college. And they were: the ability to read text analytically, write a thoughtful, insightful essay, be on grade level with math, and, most importantly, know how to learn. Yes, there’s more, and we’re doing more. He’s developed a fascination for history (we’re focusing on immigration to America right now), is learning how to make movies, is taking a wonderful homeschool philosophy class, etc. Science is in the mix in various ways. But none of it is high pressure, and most of it is genuinely intriguing to him. He was both bored and overwhelmed in school. This is far better for both of us. Healthier.
Would write more but I have to run — today is the weekly homeschool meetup at a local park. Trying to get in some play time before the impending rainstorm.
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“Some teacher has done that, somewhere. And maybe with your kids in the classroom, or at your kids’ school dance or football game, or on your kids’ field trip bus.”
Yes, teaching them to deal with stuff is one of the reasons why I want my kids to be in school (a good one mind you, where I hope the worst doesn’t happen, but I suspect, some day, some time, they’ll suffer an unfairness, and maybe an injustice). I’d like to make sure that the environment is as positive as possible, but I think too much concern with trying to protect them too much is a serious problem too.
I had an interesting conversation with some 7th graders at my kids’ school the other day. I asked them about bullying. They said no way is there any bullying, and so I told them about a parent (only one, as far as I know) who thinks there is.
Their response: parents are way too overprotective at the school. By overprotective, they meant that parents are too concerned with making sure that everything is perfect for their child, that they never suffer a harsh word, unfairness, an unkindness. The kids felt they were more resilient than that, that they could deal with situations that parents tried to protect them from.
I believed them. I’ve realized that it’s really hard to fight the urge to make sure that your children never feel any pain, never have any want, never feel left out, are sufficiently the center of attention, are always rewarded for their strengths and never suffer for their weaknesses.
Mind you, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t protect our children, just that the line between protecting them from the bad stuff, from the injustices, the dismissal versus protecting them from the stuff that they should deal with is easy to step over. Sending them out into the world (school) is part of that for me.
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PS: As with most other parenting decisions, though, I think that a parents’ decision should be paramount, unless there’s significant proof that they are causing their children significant harm (a pretty tough standard in my book). At some point, I’d want to allow children to make the decision themselves, but as long as they can’t, we have to respect the parents (even the weird ones).
And, I don’t think that Dawn at This Woman’s work is weird (well, at least she’s certainly no weirder than me).
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Tamar, there’s a group of homeschooling moms in my old neighborhood in Manhattan. If you want to network with them, I can get an e-mail address.
A couple of years ago, I started talking about homeschooling in a policy class. The students knew other kids who had been home schooled, and they all said that those kids were very, very smart. There have been studies that look at the amount of time that kids are actually learning in school; it’s a small fraction of the entire day. They waste tons of time setting up for projects and walking down the hallway and just waiting around for stuff.
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Two things here. One is good teachers can draw on a wealth of experience, either their own or their colleagues to solve problems. (Sally isn’t getting the social construction of gender. Have you tried having her brainstorm different stereotypes of kids in her school? Her essays are disorganized (have you had her draw the story first?). Good teachers know that different kids learn differently but all kids benefit from being taught to both their weaknesses and their strengths.
And also, I’m just stumped as kids get to HS, how homeschoolers do it. Do they do the on-line schools (I don’t count distance learning as the same thing as homeschooling). Granted I don’t expect every HS teacher to have an advanced degree in their field just because that’s true in my school, but it sure makes a difference.
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I find the idea of homeschooling appealing because I’m an introvert. My children, unfortunately, are extroverts. They thrive on contact with other people. School provides that, in spades. I have to fight against my natural hermitical inclinations, but it wouldn’t be healthy for them.
A good school is a wonderful thing. The trick is finding that school. Doing it yourself is a sign of disaffection with your default school options.
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I think Dave is right about good teachers, but I also think that parents can be good teachers. And, since they are teaching a limited group of children, they might actually know how to teach their own (that is, they have a good teaching fit between their natural style and their childrens’).
I’ve wondered how homeschoolers address the content as it gets more difficult (i.e. high school). From my skimming of different groups (unschoolers, religous home schoolers, gifted home schoolers), I think different groups approach the problem differently. Gifted home schoolers seem to rely on mentors (they may hire tutors for math, for example, find a relationship with a faculty member, use community college courses, as well as online courses). Some unschoolers seem to let the child guide the process, allowing a weakness in content to develop if the child chooses (and I think, often, this happens in math and science since those are harder to study by yourself). I’ll won’t express an opinion on the religiously motivated, since I don’t know anything abou thow they school.
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“There have been studies that look at the amount of time that kids are actually learning in school; it’s a small fraction of the entire day. ”
Again, a feature and not a bug for me. My children are hot-houseable, and my goal in life is not to create a spelling bee champion or someone who can recite lots of digits of pi. It’s OK with me if they spend time *not* learning in school, waiting around for their turn, standing in line, . . . . That’s the price to being part of a group.
I’d reconsider, of course, if they really wanted to learn differently, if they were frustrated standing around in school, and wanted to spend their time doing something else. I’d also reconsider if they were not learning in school. But the circumstances when I’d see homeschooling as the solution would be pretty extreme.
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I think I’d only do it if the school environment was in some way abusive, or unable to handle my child. Which isn’t that far out if you have a kid on the spectrum–we’ve been lucky until recently, but other parents I know have found their kids getting constantly suspended for not much, or given wildly inappropriate curriculum, or even disciplined for behaviors they can’t control. I am sure we would be terrible homeschoolers–me too impatient, my husband too lackadaisical.
A lot of the people around here do online school for even very young kids. I have trouble seeing it working, myself.
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“I’ve wondered how homeschoolers address the content as it gets more difficult (i.e. high school).”
Although one hears a lot from super militant homeschoolers, in practice, homeschooling is something that people tend to hop in and out of, depending on family needs.
Homeschooling Mom #1 in my neighborhood (not the possible Aspie) sent her oldest two kids to private school (the same as our kids go to) for the first time this year. They’re in 4th and 2nd grade. There are two younger kids still at home.
Homeschooling Mom #2 in my neighborhood (the possible Aspie) has four kids, from 12 down to 1. The parents are a bit militant, but recently I heard the mom wonder out loud whether it wasn’t time to put the oldest in school. (I told her to wait until after middle school.)
There’s a third family with four children in the neighborhood that has kids at the same private school as we do. They used to homeschool, but eventually switched over. I’m not sure on the exact chronology, but I know that their daughter (who is small for her age) also did a gap year at home during her elementary years and benefited from it. Their tuition bill is probably a ferocious $2000 a month, and the mom has gone to work part-time to help pay for it.
The private school that my kids and some of the neighbor kids go to was founded by a small circle of homeschooling moms, originally as a co-op. We’re going to be paying $1,000 a month for two kids starting soon, which makes me want to breathe into a paper bag, although I realize that in the grand scheme of education, it’s relatively inexpensive. I’ve been interested in homeschooling since before we had kids, and thought we would homeschool, but 1) I couldn’t do all the stuff the kids’ school does 2) It’s nice to have a helping hand 3) It’s a small school and everybody there knows who my kids are. I still think about homeschooling, and I wonder about how much homework there will be in the years to come, and if our private school’s high school will be large enough and flexible enough to give our kids what they need. Depending on how things shape up (this coming year will be the first year in which 11th grade is taught), the kids may wind up better off at a bigger high school, or putting together a homemade schedule of community college classes, distance courses, tutoring, and whatnot.
Basically, I think schools exist to serve children, not the other way around.
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When I realized we were doing this for the duration, not just for a few months or a year, I panicked about the high school years. But I went to a “homeschool graduates” discussion a few months ago (and have read a bit since then on the subject) and I now feel much more at ease. The graduates were all in college or just out. They were all well spoken and thoughtful. It was fascinating, actually. Among other things, they said that they were actually better able to handle the transition to college than a lot of their schooled friends, because they were already used to a fair amount of independent learning, with a class here and a class there. Most if not all had taken community college classes, so they were also used to that type of environment. Most had also done internships during the high school years, as well. (It’s easier to do, if you’re not bound by high-school-and-homework time constraints.)
As for us, I expect my son will become gradually more independent with his work, that he’ll take community college classes so he can have an outside transcript and get used to that setting, that he’ll take some online classes in things that either interest him or that we feel are important for his education (eg: Spanish — unless we organize a group class instead), and that he’ll continue to go on field trips and do workshops and so on. The book, And What About College? recommends contacting the schools you’re potentially interested in around 8th grade or so to find out what they require of a homeschooled student, so you can make sure to cover your bases.
It’s was the right decision for my family, and as a byproduct, has changed my views of the prevalent model of schooling that we as a society seem to accept as a given. But I am not going to proselytize here. It’s a very individual choice.
Laura, I appreciate the offer, but I’m good. I recently joined a slew of NYC-based homeschool lists. D’s going to try a fantastic-sounding class on Tuesdays in the fall in Central Park.
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Out of curiosity, have folks here encountered/addressed the phrase “coschooling”?
I gather (probably incorrectly) that it’s a bit like extracurricular academics, teaching subjects that regular schools either don’t (Art History) or no longer (Latin) cover. My coschooling fantasies involve things like the whole family taking night courses in conversational Czech, then going on vacation together.
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I spent 2 years as an ed assistant in a “good” public school in the early 90s and I came out of that experience somewhat determined to homeschool any theoretical future children…and not wanting to be a teacher. I kind of failed to see the disconnect there.
Now that I have a 5 year old who’s been in Montessori daycare for 2 years, I’ve done a 180 for the most part. Yes, they do things there I wouldn’t. But they have a lot of experience with different kids and I think my son’s learned a lot more than he would have with me.
What’s more – they’re into it. I’m kind of not. I’m into my son, but I’m not into the daily grind of coming up with great ways to improve fine motor skills.
The fact is that if he were at home with me and I were making that my job, I’m not sure I’d be aware if I were sucking at it. I don’t have all the years of experience to gauge the learning. And having made that decision for my family I’m guessing I would have some pretty serious blindspots about any gaps or issues. It’s hard to know what you don’t know. This is why it’s nice to have different instructors, styles, guidelines, etc.
I am my child’s best parent, the overseer of his education and his default teacher.
But I no longer think that I am the best person to be his solo teacher. I just don’t have 15 years of experience with his age group.
I also kind of like being just his mom.
I know homeschoolers introduce mentors etc. and that’s the only way I could see myself doing it. I’m at the point that I would only do that if there were a really big issue at his school (and I’d look private first I think). It’s not really for me.
I’m sure that will mean he wastes some time and has some negatives I wouldn’t personally introduce. I’m sure I’ll rethink this decision over and over as we hit public elementary. But I’m really glad to have had the experience in humility.
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Never wanted to homeschool, but for my job I work with some school districts, who have a legal obligation to ensure that all school aged kids are receiving an appropriate education. For 99% of the kids, that obligation is easily fulfilled with “the kid goes to public school” or “the parents sent in a certification that they are going to a real private school.” Then, there are the 1% of the kids who are homeschooling, who create 99% of the work.
Homeschooling parents fall into three groups: (A) “I am quirky and think I can teach my kids better than you can.” They generally fill in their paperwork, and aren’t a problem; (B) “I am crazy.” These parents can be a problem, but we generally get the kids back into the public schools; and (C) “I am religious, and it is important that my kids learn things a specific way, and specifically not learn other things, and it violates my freedom of religion to explain why.” These parents end up in court. A lot.
Homeschoolers are a pretty diverse lot, but I quickly learned that they are all pretty different from me, and not a path I’m interested in pursuing.
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“…but for my job I work with some school districts, who have a legal obligation to ensure that all school aged kids are receiving an appropriate education. For 99% of the kids, that obligation is easily fulfilled with “the kid goes to public school” or “the parents sent in a certification that they are going to a real private school.””
Are you confident that 99% of public and private school kids are getting an appropriate education?
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No, but I am confident that my clients cannot get in trouble for not insisting the kids get a different education than they are getting. And the community can only expect so much of big brother watching over you and your kids.
The family that sends in regular lesson plans, but have kids that nobody in the neighborhood ever sees, and turn out to be underweight and abused and covered in feces when the anonymous police call comes in five years later — those are the kids that end up on the 6:00 news with multi-million dollar lawsuits.
If we’re not on the 6 o’clock news, I can definitely handle the numerous times I’ve been decried (by name) as a force of evil on various “homeschooler blogs.”
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I was just looking at some stories on abuse of children (particularly disabled children):
http://www.theautismnews.com/2009/05/19/abuse-in-schools-widespread-report-finds/
The boy in the first video clip was crushed to death at school, while the girl in the second clip was repeatedly physically abused by a teacher, with her mom unable to make any headway with complaints until an incident where the teacher allegedly took the 7-year-old girl to an empty classroom and slammed her into the floor.
If you google “autism closet school restraints” you also get countless stories of inappropriate use of restraints and shutting disabled children in closets.
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Someone who knows more correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that much more abuse occurs at home, by relatives than at school.
There’s difference between the demand that there be some access of the citizen-child to a wider community of adults and the problems at school is that children in school have access to other adults (i.e. their parents). A child who is homeschooled, on the other hand, might be unobserved by any adult who is not a member of his/her family.
(An exception to this is residential care & boarding schools. I think the potential for abuse in those institutions is a significant concern about full-time residential care)
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“Someone who knows more correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that much more abuse occurs at home, by relatives than at school.”
Although that’s somewhat true, the problem with restraint and seclusion is that they aren’t so much abuses within the system, as the system itself (although obviously, there are better and worse ways to use them). I haven’t researched the subject in depth, but it comes up a lot, there seem to be a lot of complaints from parents of autistic children about school policy itself.
Here’s a longish article that I think demonstrates how official and ingrained in the system the abuse of seclusion and restraint are:
http://host.madison.com/ct/news/local/education/local_schools/article_1b3c4886-2bc8-11df-bd32-001cc4c03286.html
Interestingly, a Vancouver Sun article from this year says that the use of restraints and seclusion rooms actually worsens behavior.
http://www.vancouversun.com/story_print.html?id=2738584&sponsor=
There’s been some legislative activity on this stuff this year, both at the state and federal level, but I don’t know much about it.
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Never had a fantasy of home schooling. Teaching at a university for a living has made it clear that educating is hard work. And with special needs youngest, we were particularly concerned with providing her OT, PT and social skills for which she needed massive amounts of outside intervention.
Eldest’s French-language education also required that I stay out of that entirely as my spoken French is atrocious!
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