Eating on the Campaign Trail

It may be because I’m fighting back a stomach bug, but I’ve been feeling really sorry for the candidates lately. I just couldn’t imagine being happy all the time, shaking all those hands, pretending that I’m overjoyed to see someone who’s name I’ve forgotten, and eating all those waffles.

I’ve been wondering what the etiquette is when you are just too full to eat another pancake or plate of pasta. Do the candidates force it all down, so as to not offend the locals or is it cool to just to take a bite and pass the plate to a staffer? What is average weight gain of a candidate on the campaign trail? Is this why Hillary keeps wearing larger and larger jackets?

Maureen Dowd speculates about how slim Obama has been dealing with the force feeding aspect of the campaign.

He is frantic to get away from her because he can’t keep carbo-loading to relate to the common people.

In the final days in Pennsylvania, he dutifully logged time at diners
and force-fed himself waffles, pancakes, sausage and a Philly cheese
steak. He split the pancakes with Michelle, left some of the waffle and
sausage behind, and gave away the French fries that came with the
cheese steak.

It may be the stupidest column ever, as Matt and Megan say. But I was wondering how Obama was coping with the food intake challenge of our election. Because in America, we don’t really care policy positions, we just care about pancakes and whiskey shots.

This election is feeling like a season of Survivor. We’re down to the last two candidates. We’ve put them through the icky food challenge, the lack of sleep challenge, the embarrassing moments from their youth challenge.

What should be their final challenge? Should we make them stand up on a pole in the water and see who falls off first? Should we get all the people voted off the island and have them make insulting speeches about the two survivors? "On this island, there are only two kinds of animals – the snake and the rat…" Maybe just a rope maze?

4 thoughts on “Eating on the Campaign Trail

  1. Gene McCarthy once said that perhaps the most
    revealing test (and probably the cruelest for the average “knowledge-challenged” candidate) is to force each to sit alone in front of a TV camera and discuss their philosophy of government and how their proposed “changes”
    (such as they are) are congruent with said philosophy–for a solid hour. Period.

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  2. “..We’re down to the last two candidates…”
    No, there are three candidates: Barack, Hillary, and John.

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  3. s I’ve said before, I hope the people who are actually still getting to vote don’t feel the fatigue that the rest of us do (and pity for the candidates). I’m not a reality show watcher (in fact, I find them distinctly ugly, and told my husband that the “Endurance” show should be cited for child abuse, after watching it once).
    But, there was joy in my state when we were voting — really. People talking, getting excited about the possibilities and future. If the folks in PA got that, and the folks in OR are waiting for it, well, I can survive.

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  4. The *final* challenge will be to govern wisely and well. None have succeeded at this challenge for a generation or more.

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