Death Wish

I’ve had many discussions with friends about Terri Schiavo in the past few days. While there was little consensus about Terri’s state of mind or the motives of her husband, most people agreed on one thing. They needed a living will.

So, what would I have in a living will? I’ve been working on a rough draft today. Some highlights:

If I’m in a vegetative state for a long time, then it’s okay for me to die. But not too quickly. There must be much thumping of my chest by a cute doctor astradle my chest on a gurney. There also must be many attempts to wake me from my slumber by repeated viewings of Monty Python and selected movies by the Coen Brothers.

Since hubby may have alternative motives, like getting his hands on my iMac, there must be a quorum of all family members voting “aye.”

If a quorum is found and the suitable chest thomping has occurred, then I don’t want to take 14 days to die with chapped lips and sunken eyes. No, I want something more dramatic and glamorous. I want to be dressed in white and shot by mustachioed soldiers. Perhaps I can be posed with my arms up like a Goya painting. That would be good. I also like the idea of dying in motorcycle accident off a steep cliff a la Thelma and Louise. I’ll even take the Marilyn Monroe special — a bottle of pills, a highball, and a photo of the president. Well, not this president.

Just some ideas.

10 thoughts on “Death Wish

  1. What we all really need is a durable power of attorney. A living will generally can’t cover every circumstance you may be in. However someone you trust can carry your power of attorney, and with proper dicussions, make hopefully the same choices you would.
    I have asked that I never be allowed to see Titanic or vote for the R’s. Everything else is up to them.
    I have made these decisions now (with others) for 3 family members and 2 very close friends. The friends were under 50. It can happen in the blink of an eye.
    The descriptions of Schiavo from my experience are what everyone looks and acts like the last few hours/days before the die.

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  2. When the Metropolitan Museum of Art had that show about the Spanish influence on French art a couple years ago, it included a painting that Napoleon took from its Spanish owner and bestowed on the general who ordered that shooting. Whoa!

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  3. And here’s where I start to think that a big shot of morphine might be better than wasting away. If they have to take away the food tube, they might as well leave in the water and let everybody suffer that much longer.

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  4. What I really want is a tearjerker movie of my life/death story after I die, where I’m played by someone thinner and am portrayed as having been brave and really funny and far nobler than I would be in reality.

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  5. Here’s a serious question: Does a spouse have what’s considered durable power of attorney? Because my husband and I discussed this, and we both know what we want and don’t want, medically speaking. I guess I more or less have assumed that he’d automatically get to decide what happened to me (yeah, I know, if I’d read more Schiavo coverage I’d know whether that’s true or not, but I got really sick of it).
    So is it still a good idea to get a power of attorney document even if you trust your spouse 100 percent to make the right decisions?

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  6. A living will

    I adore Laura’s living will: If a quorum is found and the suitable chest thomping has occurred, then I don’t want to take 14 days to die with chapped lips and sunken eyes. No, I want something more dramatic and…

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  7. to mo (also re lisa v),
    The details depend on what state (country, world, etc) you live in. In California, all new instructions use the “Advance Health Care Directive”. The public library or web can help you out. Yes, get it in writing – if Schiavo had put her wishes in writing you probably would never have heard the name.

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  8. Mo, I just googled “living will” and a bunch of sites came up that can help you write one. There’s also another place where you can electronically store them and hospitals can instant access. I’m not sure how legitimate those sites are, but there is a lot of info out there.
    this could be a good article for the Trib.

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