NBC’s Today show has painted a map of the United States on their ice skating rink. And as the results of the election are announced next week, they’ll color the state either red or blue. A girl in a little skirt will skate over the red and blue states, as America chooses the leader of the free world. Tim “Happy Cheeks” Russert promises to jump on the ice if Florida goes to Kerry.
I always turn to Katie Couric to learn more about such serious issues as breast enlargement in teens, fun things to do with tortillas, and hot trends in handbags, so I’m delighted that she’s doing this ground breaking work on the election as well.
Not to be undone, CBS’s Morning show will have a map of the country made up entired of Cocopuffs. It will fill the sheep meadow in Central Park. As results are confirmed, the weather guy will get down on all fours and eat the states that go for Bush.
Diane Sawyer promises no talk about that silly electoral college. Instead, she will tattoo her ass on live TV. The right cheek will list the states that go for Bush, and the left cheek will have the Kerry states.
And speaking of tight elections, Matt, how about those tight pants on John Melloncamp?
Apt. 11d 
If the electoral comes out 269 to 269 where do you anticipate D. Sawyer putting those results;-))
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