For the whole series of blog posts about the Royal Family, tag: royal mess. To start from the beginning, start here.

For the next ten days, the “Queen in a Box” is going to be carted around the country with banners waving and trumpets trumpeting. It’s all very marvelously medieval. A real life Game of Thrones.

But the “Queen in a Box” isn’t really all that interesting, and there’s only so many times people can “the Queen was a nice lady.” So the media sharks need some something juicy to feed the monster public interest in the royal family. What’s juicy? What’s juicy? Um, how about a forced reunion between four middle-aged, but still good looking people who really loathe each other. Woot! Headline time!

The big news of the weekend was that the two warring brothers and their wives – William, Harry, Meghan, and Kate — did an official engagement together. What? The four of them haven’t been next to each other, since their lasting awkward encounter back in March of 2020. The headlines screamed, “The Fab Four are Back!” “William and Harry United in Grief” Brothers, who kiss and make up during a family crisis, is definitely the heart-warming story line that appeals the world. There were some great photographs of the four of them looking botoxed and marvelous in black tights and black ties. While that story might be enough for most people, the hard-core gossipers were looking for all the backstory.

Let me add a disclaimer before going forward: I am providing links to gossip, which is intended to be entertainment. I have zero personal knowledge of the situation. I am simply providing links for others to explore.

So, in a highly orchestrated event, the four sour-pusses emerged from a car, pretended to look at all the flowers and notes outside Windsor Castle from the commoners. Then they did a “walkabout,” where each couple took a side of the road, which were lined with people, shook hands with the commoners, and pet their dogs for forty minutes. This entire scene was filmed and photographed by the world press and viewed by half the planet.

You don’t need to read the gossip rags to read the body language there. Meghan and Harry walked a step behind the main couple, per protocol. Meghan was extremely stiff and nervous, constantly fiddling with her hair, so she didn’t have to make eye contact. At times, it looks like Harry was dragging her to meet a firing squad. She was filmed snapping at an aide. Some in the crowd were nice to her; others not so much. Kate walked a step away from the other three at times and didn’t look at Harry and Meghan. William and Harry walked in between their wives, keeping them far away from each other. William and Kate are the new alpha couple and let it show. Hardly a warm family reunion. Then they got in a car and drove away.

But what’s the backstory on this event? Who set it up? What happened before hand and afterwards? There’s a million different stories, and I have no idea what’s true. I’ll give you the links and you can decide:

• The King ordered William to make peace with his son.
• William sent Harry a text inviting him to join them, without any order from the King.
• The family heard that Harry and Meghan had already planned to look at the flowers on their own and had already alerted the US press about this, and this was an attempt to mitigate Meghan’s efforts to hijack the press.
• There was 45 minutes of negotiations before hand, where Harry had to tell Meghan to follow protocol and follow behind William and Kate.
• Rumors of fighting between Harry and Meghan.
• There’s been lots of buzz about Meghan doing a podcast about the Queen’s death; the King is begging her to back down.
• Did the Queen’s death help or hurt Meghan’s entrepreneurial dreams?
• Meghan and Harry might bring out their kids from California to attend the funeral. (As a parent, I shudder of the idea of bringing a one-year old to a funeral.) This is coming from the Sussex’s PR machine, so it’s probably true.
• There’s TONS of gossip about whether Harry and Meghan’s kids will get the titles of prince and princess. The official website hasn’t changed their names yet. Meghan’s PR machine is going around saying that their names will be changed, so it’s something that they really want. But a huge percentage of people in Britain want Harry and Meghan to lose their titles, and Charles wants to slim down the monarchy. The official story is that nobody knows yet.
• There’s the usual fighting about who will wear the silly military costumes.

Other stuff that I find interesting:

• This story is going to continue to dominate the US press for a week, which I find surprising.
• Charles has long planned on downsizing the monarchy. (Good-bye Andrew and a million cousins) The commonwealth is downsizing itself. (Good-bye Belize) Castles will become museums. (Good bye leaky roof) But the real tricky issue will come when it comes to downsizing the finances. On paper, the King is worth billions. But if they downsize the office, who controls that money. Is it private money? Or is that public monies? What’s going to happen to the duchies?

Are you getting sick of all the media coverage of this topic? Isn’t a tad weird that Americans are interested in all this?