A Royal Mess: An American’s Thoughts on all the Royal DRAMA, Part 5

This is Part 5 in of a series of posts on the crazy royal family. Here’s Part 1,  Part 2 and Part 3 and Part 4 and Part 6.

With Prince Phillip’s funeral on Saturday, the Royal gossip is going to be off-the-hook. It’s terribly silly, and I really should ignore it all. Terrible distraction from work.

Want to hear the gossip?

A well respected, old dude, who served his country for 70 years died. Yes, there’s been some lovely tributes, including one from former Pres Obama, but the vast majority of coverage has been about Harry and Meghan. Will they go? Will the brothers kiss and make-up?

Will Harry do something to confirm a preexisting belief about him or some other worldview? The first question was about whether or not they would go to the funeral. There’s Covid and a pregnancy at stake, plus other issues which we will get to in a minute.

He flew in and is quarantining at Frogmore Cottage, his old place that he renovated for a couple million and gave the bill to the British taxpayers. He left the country a few months later, so the public demanded that he pay them back. Daddy covered that bill. Now, he’s renting out the “Cottage” to a cousin, Andrew’s kid. Some say that there’s a secret alliance there, but who really knows.

Meghan says she can’t go because she 6 months pregnant. Gossipers say she flew to NYC for a $200,000 baby shower thrown by Serena Williams when she was 7 months pregnant with Archie, but every pregnancy is different, so people aren’t being too judge-y about that.

Now, Meghan, her publicity people, and her friends should just keep their mouths shut this week, right? Grandpa died. All the news should be about him, right? We really don’t need the daily press release about some cake she baked or the “sweet note” that she wrote to somebody. Well, they can’t help themselves.

Yesterday, her friends told The Daily Mail, that she didn’t go to the funereal because she didn’t want to steal the spotlight. Oh, and the pregnancy thing, too. They added that Meghan said that a funeral is a time for a family to come together, so she’s willing to forgive them.

The Royal family thinks that Meghan totally lied and smeared them – her adopted family – in the press. She called them racist. Grandpa said the interview was madness. They hate her now. And now she says that she’s willing to forgive them. Wahahaha.

You have to wonder if Meghan didn’t go because she knows that the Royal family is pissed at her. I mean that must be pretty awkward. Also, her polling numbers in Britain are awful. Public booing is very embarrassing.

Going forward, there’s going to be lots of analysis of body language between the brothers. In other times, the gossip would all be about Charles — should he take over now? Does he enough charisma to pull it off? Is his marriage to Camilla going to withstand all this pressure?

Yes, my interest is the British Royal Family is rather unusual. We’re all allowed our guilty pleasures, I suppose. For some inspirational British stuff, check out Paula Sutton’s Instagram – Househousevintage.

UPDATE: Since I wrote this post this morning, Meghan’s publicists have been working over time. Whew! Give those folks a raise. Here’s a hint, whenever you find basically the same story in People magazine, Vogue, Elle, and some other fluffy garbage, it comes from her publicists.

Here are the two stories that her people shared with the press just today:

  1. Harry misses Meghan terribly and will home as soon as that damn funeral is over. Now, why did her people release that story? Was it to explain why he’s going to run away as fast as he can after the funeral and not try to mend fences with his brother? Was it just a way to keep her in the news during this big event? Not sure.
  2. The Queen totally understands why Meghan can’t travel right now. Do you honestly think that the Queen gives a rat’s ass about Meghan at the moment? Her husband just died. Please. Now, why did her people push this story? Was it to show how close she is to the Queen? Best buddies, really. Or was she getting some abuse about not going to the funeral?

UPDATE2: There’s a lot of drama over the silly military outfits for royal dudes. Will Andrew, aka Uncle Pervy, be allowed to wear his outfit? How about Harry? Will William wear a regular suit, not the uniform, so Harry doesn’t feel bad that he has to wear a regular suit with a lot of medals pinned on it? When he left, the Queen took away his symbolic military uniforms. Those over-the-top military outfits are straight out of Monty Python. They should be fighting each other to not wear those things. Good Lord. They are all silly asses.