A few years ago, most of the personal posts on this blog were about making the adjustment to living in the suburbs after years of urban life. There are many things I really love about being out here. I love growing roses in my backyard. I love having a parking place and appliances. I love that the schools are good enough. I love having storage space in a garage, basement, and attic.

I still haven't gotten used to the quiet. It drives me crazy really. There are no throngs of people to shove through, no bus sounds, no loud speakers of salsa music. It's just quiet. And too solitary. Other people seem very comfortable spending their days alone in their homes. I hang out in Starbucks and the gym on my non-work days. We'll most likely move back to NYC when Ian is done with high school.

It must be that time of year. Grey snow. A cold wind ripping through the streets. Barron trees. But I seeing a lot of griping about social isolation. On the blogs and on my listservs. The special ed moms have an especially tough time, since the regular kids don't invite them over for playdates. (Note to moms of regular kids: invite one special ed kid over for a playdate this week. Consider it your good deed for January.)

The introduction to Outliers is especially good. Gladwell writes of a small town in Pennsylvania where nearly all of its inhabitants came from the same small town in Italy. That small town was unusual, because at a time when nearly all American men were dropping dead from heart attacks, the men in this town lived to a ripe old age. What was going on there?

It wasn't their diet; the people in this town had stopped eating healthy Italian food and were eating American crap. It wasn't their genes: people from this area of Italy who moved elsewhere in the US weren't living long lives. It wasn't smoking; people in this town smoked and drank. So what was keeping these people so healthy? Turns out it was their thick community life. They lived close together and families ate around the dinner table with three generations. They socialized often. They went to church. Community ties kept these people alive.

I've been so distracted with the kids and work that I haven't worked the community ties enough. We do have a thick family here. My brother, sister, and parents are 15 minutes away. We'll have two nieces crashing on the floor tonight and a buddy from the city will get the futon. But I could do more. I've made a few, new friends in this town, and I'm going to make a point of throwing more parties with them. I need to take an art class and meet new people.

Local communities and government could be doing more to organize people and keep them from hunkering down in front of the TV.