Dinner time conversation was an important part of my childhood. My mom would always be moving between the dinner table and the stove filling up people's plates with meatballs and pasta, and dad would be leading discussions. He would tell us stories about growing up in Chicago and quiz us on our knowledge of the presidents. When one kid would pipe up to announce to the family that he or she got an A on social studies test or that he or she was an especially good artist, dad and the other siblings would cut off that kid and shout "braaaaaag"

I reminded my dad of that tradition a few years ago, and he mumbled, "that was a mistake, wasn't it?"

Jeremy S. sent me a link to an excellent rant by Clay Shirky over the weekend. Shirky says that his female graduate students are much worse about self-promotion than his male graduate students. He writes, "not enough women have what it takes to behave like arrogant self-aggrandizing jerks." (You should really read the whole post.)

When I look back at my professional life assessing what I've done right and what mistakes that I've made, the biggest error that I've made is not tooting my own horn enough. I've got plenty of self-confidence. In fact, I'm surely arrogant. But I'm quietly arrogant. I assume my excellence speaks for itself. I assume that others will read my papers. I assume that they'll look me up in google scholar and see that my papers are heavily cited. I assume that my prowess in the classroom is discussed and well known. I assume that people will see through those who self-promote, but have nothing to back it up.

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

I was raised that self-promotion was tacky. It is, but it's really, really important. Most people don't have the time to really evaluate your work. They rely on short-cuts, including your self-promotion and your appearance. Modesty does not get you to the top of the heap.

Is this a gendered thing? Are women worse about self-promotion than men. Well, mostly, but not entirely. I know some women who will chew your ear off with tales of their latest achievements, and I know some guys who quietly work.

Steve's terrible at self-promotion. His yearly evaluations at work are always the same. They tell him that he's excellent at his job in every way, but that he needs to advertise that fact to top management. At least, his firm is honest that advertising one's skills is an important part of his job. Steve is mid-western. Mid-westerns are also terrible at self-promotion. 

At this point in my life, it's too late to change. I cringe at the BS. I like to think that, in the end, the phonies will be exposed and that output will count more than packaging. I like to think that self-aggrandizing only gets you so far, and at some point, you'll be asked to produce. (God, the Catholics really screwed up my brain.) But I could be entirely wrong.

UPDATE: Lots of commentary all over the Internet about Shirky's post. Check out BitchPhD.  This articles says that all academics are bad at self-promotion and offers advice.