We’re live blogging Oscar time. Feel free to add your comments.

Dress review. So, Kiera Knightly looks great. Love the dress. Love the necklace.
Will someone tell George Clooney that he’s not funny.
So, I heard that the Oscars is supposed to have super low viewership this year. No big blockbuster movies up for awards. And some people think that my lover, Jon Stewart, might not capture middle America. Shut up.

Isaac Mizrahi loved Brokeback Mountain. Yes, that’s a shocker.
Nicole Kidman. Botox.
What’s with all the lemon dresses? Lemon-yellow is NOT a good color for red heads. My style tip for the evening.

Forgive the retarded design scheme. Typepad has issues tonight.

OK. Here’s a fun game. Switch between E!, channel 7 and 11 and watch George Clooney make the same lame joke three times.

So, the theme of the evening isn’t lemony dresses. It’s Hollywood as the Liberal Den of Iniquity. Jon Stewart, my lover, brought it up. And George Clooney said that we’re liberal and we’re proud.

Dolly Parton is doing her thing, God love her. I ran into Dolly once at the Pierre Hotel in Manhattan. I was there for high tea, and Dolly showed up wearing a turquoise jump suit. Actually, the jump suit had knickers on the bottom. God love her. Just sing 9 to 5, honey.

Luke or Owen? Yes.

So, back a year ago when I bought this laptap, I said no network card for me. No, far better, to run up the stairs during commercial breaks to blog. Moron.

Jon Stewart, my lover, keeps making political jokes that are just whizzing over those poor, dumb people’s heads.

My God, look at the pre-natal boobage on Rachel Weisz.

Steve wants to know if Lauren Bacall is bombed.

Charlize. Nice dress except for the bow. The damn Penguin movie won. We wanted Sharpe James.

Fashion tip from J. Lo. If you pull back your hair tight enough, instant face lift. Thanks, Jenny.

For the record. 1 Corona. 1 Martini. 2 Olives.

Keanu Reeves. . Yep. It’s always a head scratcher.

OK. Who likes montages? I like montages. First of all, it gives my funny man and lover, Jon Stewart, a chance for a little breather. Secondly, I got to see Dolly give that line that never goes stale. “You stay there or I’ll turn you from a rooster to a hen in just one shot.”

Dan, Salma looked nice in blue.

Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep. Best. Intro. Ever. Reminded me how much I like Robert Altman. I’ll have do the Blockbuster thing and revisit Gosford Park and the Player.

Yes. Queen gets to give the award to the hiphop song. Good moment.

Got to have the “Remind Them Who Died” montage. I hope to be in one of those some day.

In Turkey, they translated “Brokeback Mountain” as “Faggot Cowboys.”

Phillip Seymour Hoffman wins for best actor. Oh good, Steve can tell me again about that time he saw Hoffman on the subway. Oh, gee. I never heard that story before, dear. It’s marriage, people.

How much do we love Reese Witherspoon? A ton. Great role. Great tunes. I didn’t know T-Bone Burnett did the music to that movie also. Why wasn’t that music up for an award? Great speech. “Just trying to matter…” Me, too, Reese. Me, too.

To the person who showed up here by googling “Jon+Stewart+Not+Funny,” be gone.

They must be running over time. The orchestra is cutting off speeches and they made Nicholson run onto the stage. No hamming, Jack. Steve has already gone to bed.

Oh. That’s it. No final words from my lover? Well, that’s it, I guess. OK, I’ll admit it. He could have done better. Not so much on the ha-has. Psst, dear, cable is cooler than the Oscars. If they boot you off the Daily Show, you can always guest blog at 11D.

I’m off to bed and, yes, I have the bed spins. Thanks for coming by.

Give me your review. Best dress. Best speech. Best host.