We’ve been watching Bill get it on with his three wives on Big Love. And you think that Marmite is birth control? Wait until you check out this show.

Bill and the wives are members of a Mormon splinter group committed to polygamy. Instead of hanging out on the compound along with the other polygamists, they try to blend into a suburban development and hide their unique marriage from the neighbors. Bill is always worried that their secret will become public and put his business in jeopardy. It’s very stressful.

There’s also all the interfamily stress. They have to figure out how to deal out money equally and what to do with the creepy compound people. And somebody is trying to poison grandpa.

But the biggest problem is who gets Bill’s penis for the night. If it’s Wife A’s night, does Wife B still get a morning quickie? What if Wife C is a screamer? Bill’s penis can’t take the pressure and needs some viagra.

Big problems on Big Love.