I’m not live blogging the Oscars, but I can’t resist some random snark.

Ellen’s choice of footwear is driving me batty. We all expected Ellen to wear the crimson, velvet suit. That much was a no brainer. But white flats with it?!!! I am four square against white shoes, especially white oxford shoes. Laws should be written.

Was it really necessary for Ellen to do a costume change mid show? Red suit to white suit to black suit. She’s crazy like that.

I’m amused that Mel Gibson didn’t show up even though his film was up for some awards. And the drunk, anti-semite award goes to…

And the award for a long-winded speech in a foreign language goes to…

And the most obvious jealous face award goes to… Beyonce.

I believe it’s time to call a moritorium on interpretive dances on the Oscars. Down right creepy.

And the best “I-never-dreamed-growing-up-in-nowheresville-that-I-would-end-up-here-today” speech goes to… well, it’s a toss up between Forest Whitaker and Jennifer Hudson.