When I wake up in the morning, I usually watch the morning news shows for ten minutes while I drink some coffee. Then I get the kids and make breakfast and all. Usually the TV stays on, so I can catch more news as I'm running around the house finding homework sheets and tying shoe laces.

I can't do that anymore.

A few weeks ago, Adam Lambert got in trouble for simulating oral sex with a male dancer during some music award show. People were annoyed that this happened during a family show, and there was controversy. Controversy that had to be discussed by the morning news shows. They showed the clip of the dance routine and blurred out the suggestive bits, but then Ann Curry or somebody narrated what was happening behind the blurry cloud. "And then Adam grabbed the male dancer's head and repeatedly thrust his pelvis into the guy's mouth simulating oral sex."

Jonah was standing right there. I ran around the room searching for the remote, so I could turn the channel. Then didn't even warn me. Ugh.

Now we have Tiger Woods 24/7 and the parade of sluts. The gossip shows, which are on at 7:00 PM, are interviewing the bimbos who  describe how good Tiger was in bed, how he liked to have sex while taking sleeping pills, and even the size of his endowment. They keep showing a clip of a topless woman relating the time that she had sex with Tiger at a bachelor party. Sure, they have key bits blurred out, but it's very obvious that she's topless. 

Digression. I'm amazed at these women who sleep with famous people and then store the information away like a trust fund for a rainy day. Minutes after the car accident, did hundreds of women call their lawyers and hire image consultants? ET and Playboy are calling! Girls all over America are taking notes. /Digression.

He's only ten. He's ready for the sperm/egg type of sex education, not the topless floozy type of sex education. We knew that 8:00 sitcoms were off limits, but the news?!! I want him to watch Obama's speech in Oslo and coverage of the war in Afghanistan. Body counts don't scare me. Naked bodies are a different story.

I never thought I would say this, but I miss the Cosby show.