While Judith Warner’s article about the sad moms who opted out of the workforce was mean-spirited and sensational, there were some elements of truth to the article. Those elements of truth were not earth shattering, but let’s deal with them anyway.

It’s very, very hard to maintain two major careers and raise more than one child. By major careers, I’m using my Northeast bias here. I’m talking about 50-60 hour per week jobs with a two-hour commute. That’s about average around here, though I know that’s not the norm elsewhere. Using my Northeast definition of a major career, let’s move on. Because it’s very hard to manage two time-consuming, inflexible jobs, one person often has to either stop working altogether or take a part-time job to manage school vacations and sick children and the mountain of tasks that go along with raising kids.

If you step off the full-time career track, it’s very hard to get back on. In some professions, it is simply impossible to find work, after a year or two hiatus. It’s also very hard to find part-time work that helps keep your seat warm until you go back. That’s the reality, even if it is a rather short-sighted reality.

A number of my friends need to get back into the workforce, because their spouses’ salaries have shrunk in the new economy or because their kids absorb less time than they did in the past. Some are more successful than others. The ones who are happily getting a paycheck now are the ones who were willing to start at the bottom at a new career. One friend took a job as a secretary at daycare center. Another teaches a spin class at a local gym. One writes PR copy for a medical firm. All three are massively, over-qualified for those jobs, and their paychecks are much smaller than they were in the past, but they have a job. Because my friends don’t have college-aged kids yet, they still need some flexibility in the jobs, and those low-level jobs give that to them. Going back into the workforce requires a lot of humility and realistic expectations.

The friends who spent their free time honing some skill or adding small jobs to their resume are in better shape than those who spent too much time doing PTA or church volunteer work. I used to think that those volunteer jobs provided networking opportunities and skills that would translate into local political or community jobs down the line, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Volunteer work, which is extremely important to running schools and community life, is sadly a dead-end pursuit.

The other element of truth to the Warner article is that your work at home can create conflict in your marriage, if you married an asshole. Warner focuses in on one guy who thinks that his wife could be continuing managing her children’s schedule and the household responsibilities, while bringing in her pre-child paycheck. That simply is not possible. Of course, if you have married an asshole, then that’s a problem regardless of your employment status.

If you’re at home, then you do have to keep your partner informed about all your work at home. Even a well-meaning partner needs to be reminded once in a while that the laundry isn’t being done by house elves, and a fresh loaf of bread didn’t magically regenerate in the cabinet. If you communicate with your spouse regularly, this isn’t a big deal.

If you’re the parent who has taken the flexible job or stopped working entirely, there will definitely be long-term implications for your career. However, with a little humility, creativity, and strategic activities, a return to the workforce is not impossible.