I don't want to be that parent. I don't want to be that parent. Oh, crap. I think I am.

This morning, I was surfing around Jonah's class website. The website is actually very nice. The teacher inputs the assignments daily. She also uploaded the major writing assignment for the year along with the grading rubrics. It gave me a good idea of what Jonah will do this year. The trouble is that I'm not very happy about it.

The big writing assignment this year is a Celebrity Book Report. Celebrities? Like we aren't already in a celebrity-happy culture? The school system needs to fuel it further?

For the book report, he has to answer some questions about the celebrity, including explaining why this person is famous (genetic bone structure?) and how they've worked to make the world a better place (introduced a catchphrase, "that's hot!"). Then they have to make a timeline, which is graded in part on well they create equal spacing between major events in their lives. They have to create a costume or their mothers have to do. And they need to print out a lot of pictures of the celebrity from the Internet. I would like to print out a picture of my head exploding.

My kid is in fifth grade. He needs to learn how to write an essay. He has to write a lot. He has to read tough books and understand them. He has to learn about important people, not celebrities.

So, what does one do about this? Complaining to the teacher doesn't do anything. This project is done by the entire fifth grade class. It's part of their standard curriculum. Complaining to the principal doesn't do much. She's been told to do this kind of project by various experts and the school board. Getting elected to the school board doesn't do much, because by the time you're able to make change, your kid is already done with school. Supplementing at home is hard, when your kid's time is used up by making costumes of Derek Jeter. Moving is expensive. Homeschooling requires a parent with a different skill set then myself.

Suggestions?