Ian Parker's profile of JK Rowling is striking not only because it lacks juicy gossip. He paints a picture of woman who seems uncomfortable with her success. She's insecure (pancake makeup and fake eyelashes), tightly wound, and rather boring. 

I think if I wrote a blockbuster series of books and was worth nearly $1 billion, I would be like WHOO-HOO! TAKE THAT, ALL YOU DOUBTERS AND ASSHOLES! I'M GOING TO JET AROUND THE WORLD AND SPEND MY MONEY LIKE RODNEY DANGERFIELD IN BACK TO SCHOOL! 

My life would only be conducted in capital letters, exclamation marks, and rude, immature gestures aimed at various assholes in my life beginning with the girl who made fun of my jeans in the sixth grade. 

But she isn't doing that. Too bad. Maybe I can ask her to flip off my sixth grade nemesis for me. 

I guess if you hit your peak by age 40 there's nowhere to go but down. Luckily, I have been an underachiever all my life, so I'm looking forward to success somewhere in my 80s.