Bad Mothering

I'm anxious to get on the porch and do some bad parenting. Jonah's home with strep throat and I want to read my book, while he reads his. So, this post must be short and will surely need a follow up.

There's been a slow buzz about Ayelet Waldman's and Dooce's new books. Lisa Belkin talks about it today on Motherlode and makes reference to an article she's got coming out in Sunday's magazine. I'm a bit worried that she's got it wrong, so I just want to quickly describe what bad parenting is.

Bad parenting is most of all self-depricatory. I really hope that Lisa Belkin isn't going to take the name at face value. All these parents, from Ayelet to Dooce to all the bloggers, are SUPER involved in these kids lives. They aren't necessarily in the PTA or driving SUVs, but they are really into their kids.

These parents aren't leaving their kids in daycare for 50 hours a week. In fact, they've quit their jobs or work part time in order to have their kids in daycare as little as possible. Sometimes there's no way around daycare, but then these parents get them out as soon as possible. The bad parent movement is really about rolling your own kid.

It demands that dads are involved. Sometimes they are actually the primary parent. Absentee dads are shunned.

Kids first, career second.

These parents might may not be keeping the kids in a ton of activities, but their kids aren't playing video games or TV for hours. They're taking their kids to the museum and having lunch at the mall.

So, it is rather laid-back in some ways, but there's a clear priority of values.