Two Saturdays ago, I tore off my shorts dirty from the afternoon of yardwork  and dressed up in my standard date night outfit – sparkly shirt, jeans, and large earrings. We drove to a very Jersey restaurant a few blocks away and had large glasses of wine and a plate of mussels at the bar. We texted Jonah to see how he and his brother were faring at home. It was a date night.

Truthfully, Steve and I don’t have too many date nights. We have lots of excuses. The weekends are packed with family events – soccer games, extended family bbqs, a trip to Yankee stadium, kiddie birthday parties. Babysitters charge $15 an hour and are unreliable. Grandparents have lives of their own. The kids are just as hungry for Steve-time, as I am.

But things are changing. Jonah is able to babysit, and both boys are perfectly content to spend an evening playing video games without hassessment from grown-ups. We don’t feel comfortable ditching them for too long, but a couple hours at a local restaurant is very do-able. We are going out tonight for more wine and mussels.

A friend and her husband both work and both travel frequently for their jobs. They have complicated schedules during the week, managing the many babysitters and trading off dinner-duty. Still, they schedule a date night every Saturday night. She said that she and her husband hardly have a chance to chat during the week, so they need those few hours to re-connect.

With everybody working a million hours, sometimes we feel torn between the kids and the spouse. Who is the priority? Does Saturday night belong to the kids or to the spouse?

Do you do date nights?