When I was 38, we moved to the suburbs. On my 39th birthday, I  was ten pounds heavier. Why? I didn’t have to walk to the subway or to the nursery school anymore. Instead, I drove the Camry. All those years in the city, I stayed roughly the same weight as I was when I was 18, because I had to walk places in New York City. If you asked me if I exercised, I would say no. I would say that I was getting to work.

In the New Republic, Judith Shulevitz talks about the alarming statistics relating to obesity.  By 2010, more than 40 percent of American adults and 17 percent of youths were obese or morbidly obese. By 2030,more than half of America’s adults and a third of its young people may fit that description.

How can obese people lose weight? Shulevitz points to several studies that show the limits of diet and exercise. Apparently, people can lose some weight with various methods, but then put it back on immediately.

I think that the diet researchers are asking bad questions. I wasn’t “exercising” between 18 and 38; I was active and car-less.

Also, I’ve never been on a diet. Never. I always eat as much as I like at the dinner table. I have never had hunger pains. But I also cook every night, make several vegetables, use cheese as a garnish only, and make pasta only once a week. I suppose that some people would define our food as the Mediterranean Diet, but, for me, it’s just dinner.

So, I don’t buy the fatalism behind the weight-loss studies. Lifestyle matters! Okay, more anecdotes…

Every morning, as Jonah waits for his school bus, a perky woman walks past our house with her two perky dogs. (I do love when pets look like their owners.) She moves as a good clip as she passes my house. When I walk to the end of the driveway to retrieve the paper, we smile and exchange pleasantries about the weather. About a year ago, her husband suddenly joined her on her morning walk. He must have retired from his job; he looks about 65. Bald and overweight. At first, he joined her reluctantly. She was always a couple of steps ahead of him. A year later, he keeps up with her pace, and he looks like he lost about 50 pounds. The dude wasn’t sweating it on a treadmill at the gym. He was walking his dog every single morning at a smart pace. Lifestyle matters.

When we visited Cleveland last month, we stayed in an area with lots of strip malls and chain restaurants off one large highway. You could drive for miles down this four lane road and see nothing but national chain restaurants and shops. Chili’s, Olive Garden, Applebee’s, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Panera’s, Red Lobster, whatever. There were no local restaurants. One night, we ate at the Olive Garden (my first time). I looked over the menu. I still felt greasy from our lunch at McDonald’s, so I wasn’t in the mood for cheesy, creamy pasta. I asked for the grilled salmon, which happened to be on the “healthy” choices section. I didn’t pick the salmon, because it was “healthy.” I chose it, because I like grilled salmon. Well, that was about the worst grilled salmon that I’ve ever had. It was burnt and drier than toast. I didn’t know someone could cook salmon that badly. I had a similar experience at Chili’s the next night with some dry chicken and undercooked and unseasoned vegetables. The chefs simply can’t cook anything that isn’t drowning in sauce. No wonder everyone else in the restaurant went with the saucy stuff. And my meal, btw, was more expensive than a meal at an ethnic restaurant in Manhattan. Lifestyle matters.

Obesity is also high correlated to SES and geographic location. You’re much more likely to be obese if you are poor and live in Mississippi than if you are middle class and live in Colorado. Lifestyle matters.

So, what to do about obesity? We’re not talking about a muffin top or a little extra cushion. We’re not even talking fat. We’re talking about obesity here. I think the first thing is to stop talking about “diet” and “exercise.” Those are dirty words that come loaded with images of suffering and martyrdom. People need to be active every single day. That can mean walking to the subway or taking the dog for a lap around the park. I also think that people need to rethink their relationship with food.

The problem is that we’ve created communities that have four lane highways and strip malls with Chili’s. We make people sit at computers for 60 hours per week. We don’t provide access to better food. You can’t tell someone to make more money and move to another area of the country.  We’ve made it really hard for people to be healthy. Obesity isn’t a personal problem; it’s a community problem. So, without making a shift in an entire community, we are making things impossible for the individual.