There is one way for people to be average, but a million different ways to be disabled.

Blogging will be sporadic for the next two weeks. I have about a dozen meetings, as we figure out where to place Ian for middle school next year. It’s a tricky process, and most people of typical kids have no idea what happens. Let me explain.

Public schools are set up for average kids. Schools don’t do very well with kids who don’t fit into the average box. Very smart kids are bored. And kids with learning differences are overwhelmed. Sometimes schools just push the kids with learning differences along. Sometimes, they have classrooms in the back of the school where they group up all the different kids. The different kids are different from each other, and a teacher tries to find some median point to instruct the different kids. If the kids are only slightly different from the average kids, it works out. They can blend into the general population well enough that they can still make friends and take advantage of the opportunities in the school. But if the kid is too different, then a typical school doesn’t work out.

There are private schools that specialize in specific kinds of different kids. One school will focus on the ADHD kids. Another focuses on severely autistic kids. Another will concentrate on the emotionally disturbed kids. Public school districts will pay the tuition for the kids to attend one of the private schools. Some districts, like ours, pay the tuition without too much fuss. Other school districts put up a fight and make the parents hire a lawyer first.

I visited a very nice school this morning that specializes in kids with attention and language difficulties. It was only a 30-minute drive from our house. It might work out. I have to check out the other options, before I make any decisions.

From time to time, I indulge in some self-pity over this process. I get jealous of people with average kids. Towns, like mine, are a Disney-land for average people. There are millions of after-school activities for the kids. Parents socialize through their kids’ activities and parent organizations. The football parents chat on the bleachers and then continue the party at their homes after the games. But then I get a grip and move on. We’re not football-parent-types anyway.

And in some ways, we’re better off than the parents of average kids. It’s nice that we have options. I get to choose a school for my kid. Most parents have no choices. I’m not sure which choice is right for Ian yet. Should we concentrate on vocational goals or keep going on the academic track? But options are a good thing.

Also, I know that we’re better off than the parents of different kids a generation ago. There are names for disabilities now. There are private schools in place. Kids have legal protections. It could be better still, but Ian has a brighter future than the disabled kids in my high school class.