Two articles have shown up at my virtual doorstep in the past couple of weeks with very different takes on being a stay-at-home parent. One article was from a mom who talks about the costs of being a stay at home parent and her regrets about leaving the paid workforce. Another article was by a woman who quit her law job, which she hated, focused on her kids and her passion for baseball.
How do we reconcile those two stories? I think we can’t. I think when it comes down to describing life as a stay at home parent, it’s very much of a YMMV.
Well, let me try harder. Both women say that they loved spending time with their kids. The woman who quit her traditional job, used the time to transition to a new career as a sports blogger. The blogging job probably doesn’t cover the mortgage payments, but she finds it fulfilling.
If you find yourself outside the traditional workforce for whatever reason — disability or caretaking needs or age — there are ways to create a new life with purpose. My dad retired ten years ago, and quickly transitioned to full time work running a food pantry. Other SAHP friends are teaching spin classes, writing for local newspapers, running sports organizations, driving meals to old people, starting small businesses. When the kids are in school, there are plenty of opportunities to do interesting things.
So, my advice to fellow parents, who have stepped out of the traditional workforce, is to be interesting. Not so hard, right?
Apt. 11d 
The first article (about regrets) seems to reflect a somewhat idiosyncratic set of problems. My mother didn’t lack confidence, and she certainly didn’t go around dressed like a schlump and feeling bad about it.
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The bottom line is, of course, financial security, which is why “mommy wars” over SAHP versus paid work are largely an UMC affair. As I’ve said before in comments here, I don’t know how you even live in the US with your hideously expensive medical system, so if I lived there I’d never want to become unemployed even for the best of reasons.
Laura’s anecdote about her dad is indicative of another group – retirees who are not going to keel over at 70 as they were expected to do in the mid 20th century. Retirement is becoming less of a “rest” and more of “what am I going to do next”. My 92 year old mother has only just guiltily volunteered that she has relinquished a few of her unpaid commitments.
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“The bottom line is, of course, financial security”
well just so. My wife has had an interesting set of ‘jobs’ in various volunteer capacities since getting laid off, but we are not managing anymore, I’m going to have to send her back to work 😉
There is a lovely old lady of 80something who is one of the pillars of our church – does more work than any two men..
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