Stupid Boys

~ Laura

A study by Angelina Grigoryeva, a doctoral candidate in sociology at Princeton University, found that “daughters provide an average of 12.3 hours of care to their elderly parents per month, compared to sons’ 5.6 hours. Grigoryeva defined elderly caregiving as helping parents with daily living tasks such as dressing, traveling, eating, medication and grocery shopping.”

Published by Laura

10 thoughts on “Stupid Boys”

    1. Not sure. Added the links to the news articles. This report is a working paper for the ASA conference, so I’m not sure that there’s a copy online for us to read.

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      1. I’m just thinking of relatives’ experience… How does she account for traditional gender roles in caregiving? For example, neither the parents nor the son might be comfortable with him helping them dress. They might even _expect_ the daughter-in-law to help with dressing. Does the husband get credit for the wife’s service? If you regard the husband and wife as a team, how does the time compare?

        There might be other tasks, such as moving furniture, dealing with home repairs, and handling investments, which they would prefer the son (rather than the daughter) to take care of. Who’s more likely to be chosen as executor for the estate? Who does the physical work (lifting, etc.) for parents with mobility issues?

        Another factor is distance from parents’ home. I have the impression (_totally anecdotal, no data) that sons are more likely to settle down closer to their wives’ parents than their own. Jimmy in North Dakota might not help his parents in New Jersey, but he might be living with his in-laws.

        There are practical reasons for mothers to want to find “a nice girl” for their sons.

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      2. Interestingly the gay men I know seem to end up with the parental caregiving if there are only sons in the family (even if they are also parents).

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  2. My 92 yo mother is getting half-yearly visits from me, and I do what I can, but my sisters are doing the bulk. On the other hand, I did quite a lot during the decline and last illnesses of my wife’s parents, for whom we bought the house next door. One of them died at home, the other went to hospice for the last three days, and hot and cold running grandchildren, so it worked pretty well for them. I think that shows up as, son who doesn’t do much for his aging parents. Oh well.

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  3. My grandmother had my dad and his two brothers doing the bulk of her care. My sister and I pitched in too as did one of her daughter-in-laws. At the time I knew it was different to have such devoted sons. They didn’t take care of her personal stuff (that’s where my sister and I came in), but they grocery shopped, cleaned, paid bills and took her to doctor’s appointments.

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