I’m half way through Lean In. I have to finish it by 8 for a bookclub meeting. Probably not going to happen, but in the long and honored tradition at Apt. 11D of writing blogpost on half-read books, I have a few thoughts.
Why aren’t there more women at senior levels of business and politics? A great question with lots and lots of people weighing in on the subject. There are three answers to that question.
1. Choice. Women would rather not take on positions of power, because they want to devote more energy to family or life in general.
2. Sexism/Obstacles. Women aren’t reaching the top layers of business and politics, because men judge them harshly, because they aren’t taken seriously, and/or because there aren’t enough accommodations for pregnant women or women with young children.
3. Personal Actions. Women aren’t getting ahead, because they aren’t aggressive enough, they second guess themselves, they don’t promote themselves enough, and they don’t believe in themselves enough.
So, what option does Sandberg choose. Door Number 1, Door Number 2, or Door Number 3? You would think that she would choose women’s self-sabotaging behavior as the explanation for the lack of female CEO’s. That’s sort of the title of the book. The problem is that she also says that choice and sexism are also factors. Now, if she came right out and said that she believed that all three variables were at work, then fine. She would have an argument. But she doesn’t! I’m halfway through the book and I am still waiting for one clear, consistent message.
I almost suspect that she didn’t choose one answer, because she didn’t want to offend anyone. She doesn’t even come out and clearly say that more women should be CEOs. She makes a point of saying that women who care for others full time are great.
Take a position, Sheryl!! Stop being so nice! (Who knew that I could be more of hardass than Sheryl Sandberg?)
The book isn’t worthless. I will probably finish the book off this week. Sandberg is likable. She’s neurotic in the same way that I’m neurotic, so I understand her. I enjoy her own stories of how she got to the top and wish that she had written a memoir instead of a confused manifesto.
Apt. 11d 
She doesn’t even come out and clearly say that more women should be CEOs. She makes a point of saying that women who care for others full time are great.
If I wasn’t a full-time caregiver, I think I could have done better than Ballmer, but not as good as Jobs or anything.
LikeLike
These explanations are not mutually exclusive, since (for instance) if most women want to devote more time to family, people will (quite rationally) tend to take them less seriously in the business world. If they are prone to second guess themselves, then the more immediate rewards of home life may be more reassuring than the ambiguous successes achieved in business. Etc.
Of course, that is a recipe for not writing a book at all, since descriptions of complex, unalterable realities tend not to be best-sellers.
LikeLike
Worse than the book (which I agree was okay) was the whole lean in circle concept. Groups of women getting together with all sorts of rules about what you had to do? No thanks. Who has time for that? Lots of fanfare during the roll out, but I haven’t heard diddly about them since.
LikeLike
“1. Choice. Women would rather not take on positions of power, because they want to devote more energy to family or life in general.”
I think I’d expand that one. If a guy becomes CEO of Microsoft, it provides him interpersonal perks and psychic income that do not necessarily accrue to a woman who becomes CEO of Microsoft. For her, going up the ladder may just mean diminishing returns and more stress. I think men and women tend to keep score differently, and I think that normal women don’t keep score with money the same way men tend to do. Once you’ve paid the mortgage, paid the nanny, sent the kids to private school, bought new cars, done a little saving, and bought some clothes, what is money for, really? What’s the difference between $5 million and $50 million? For a guy, the answer might be, Anna Nicole Smith pushing you around in your wheel chair in your late 80s or a sense that you’ve won this game of Monopoly, but I don’t think that women usually think like that.
LikeLike
Take, for example, Jack Donaghy and Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. She loves her job and chooses not to follow her boyfriend to the Midwest because there’s nothing for her there, but her relationship to her job is very different than Jack’s relationship to his job. She already has her dream job. He likes his, but he’s always got his eye on the next rung on the ladder.
LikeLike
Ann Althouse has a very funny piece (funny if you like caustic, anyway) about women meeting for morning coffeeklatsches to discuss “leaning in.”
LikeLike