Autism FAQ

An anonymous letter to a parent of an autistic child has gone viral on Buzzfeed. The letter told the parent that, “you selfishly put your kid outside everyday and let him be nothing but nuisance and a problem to everyone else with that noise polluting whaling [sic] that he constantly makes!!!”  The complainer doesn’t think that the neighbors should have to listen to the autistic boy, because he wasn’t making “normal” sounds. Crying babies and barking dogs are acceptable neighborhood sounds, but not a non-verbal autistic child’s verbal tics. The complainer told the parent to move or to euthanize the child.

900 commenters responded with support for the family and outrage at the anonymous complainer.

While this anonymous complainer was on the extreme-end  of autism bigotry, I hear lesser versions of this letter all the time with fewer exclamation marks. Sometimes, I hear it from friends who forget that I have a son on the autistic spectrum. In the past, kids with autism were hidden away in homes and institutions, so people didn’t grow up dealing with an autistic cousin or a classmate with a case of Aspergers. Now, autistic children are everywhere. And it creates some conflict.

I’ve written up a few FAQ’s about autism that have grown out of the inclusion of autistic kids into community life:

Q: Why does that child have his finger in his ears? Why isn’t enjoying this wonderful parade? All children love parades.

A: Autistic children often are more sensitive to light, sound, taste, and touch than other children. Not all autistic children are the same. Some are more sensitive than others. Some are more sensitive to these stimuli when they are anxious. This child does not like the loud sounds of a parade. It is physically painful for him. He is probably not enjoying this parade at all, and his parents are making him be there.

Q. Why did that mother sign up her son for Little League? He doesn’t know what he’s doing, and it’s slowing down everyone else. That mother must be denial.

A: The mother may or may not be aware of a label for her child’s disability. The average age for diagnosis is 8 years old, and many schools don’t give that label to a child in order to avoid providing the child with services.

Every child should access to all town and school activities, as much as possible. An aide may need to accompany a child to an activity to provide support. Teammates and parents may have to be patient. If a child cannot participate in the activity in the most basic way, then they should have access to a special needs version of that activity. If the town does not provide special needs sports activities, then it is in violation of federal law.

Q: I’m a volunteer CCD teacher and I can’t do my job, because there is one autistic kid in the class who keeps doing weird stuff.

A: The correct word for atypical behavior from autistic children is “inappropriate” not “weird.” If you have a student whose behavior is inappropriate and interferes with normal classroom expectations, then the director of the program needs to have a conference with the parents of the child. If an aide can provide enough support for the child, then either the church or the parents should provide that support. If the child cannot function in a normal classroom even with support, then the church should consider providing programs for their parishioners with special needs.

Religious organizations need to practice what they preach. Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me.

Q: Why is that autistic kid yelling and jumping up and down? He keeps saying the same thing over and over. It’s freaking me out.

A: Some autistic children do something called “stimming.” Stimming is a repetitive action or verbal phase that makes autistic kids feel better. It calms them down, when they are very anxious or bored. It’s like when you tap your foot or rock in a chair, but more so.