I'm writing about violent video games and the culture of violence right now.
At this moment, there are two video games sitting a red plastic bag from Toys R Us – Call of Duty and Halo 4 – and I just can't decide if I should return them to the store or if I should wrap them up for Christmas for Jonah.
By "culture of violence" I don't just mean boy culture, which is dominated by guns. Kids who play with those toys and guns don't end up as psycho killers. They just don't. But those guns and games are part of a bigger problem than surrounds all of us. It's more about the absense of kindness. And that impacts the girls, too, who feel coerced to dress certain ways and are shunned by the popular girls who demand a certain level of conformity.
I was most struck by the "Adam Lanza mother" article not by the fact that she thought her son could be a psycho killer, but the fact that she felt entirely ALONE as she grappled with a children with special needs. Where were the social supports for this family? Again, the absence of kindness.
At this moment, it's worth watching this video by Ta-Nehisi Coates talking about football and Clifford Geertz's Balinese cockfighting article. I posted it back in September and I'm still thinking about it.
http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f8/271557391
Apt. 11d 
You just reminded me that I bought nerf guns for all three of my girls this Christmas. Perhaps I’ll just return them or hold them for another holiday/birthday.
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Does this side of boy competitiveness and aggressiveness lead to a higher likelihood of real violence? The data is highly mixed; in the old days we used to be able to say categorically that, say, there’s no relationship between violent video games and violence. It’s a relationship people have always proposed and the scientific data used to argue against it. Now, some studies are showing relationships (though some of those studies aren’t very good). I need to do further research, because this is an example of a cost of the “first amendment.” Do people have the right to play the games they enjoy, even if among some they increase the propensity for violence? (that doesn’t help for making the decision for one’s family, but it is relevant to the public decision). I don’t know the answer yet.
Then, there’s the other side, of boys and their aggressiveness and competitiveness (I’m not talking about girls, because its unrealistic to suggest that girls produce violence in the same way. They just don’t, even if their aggression and competitiveness results in other bad behaviors). Many boys are competitive, some of them loose control in that competitiveness. Is it possible to change them? What wide scale changes would be necessary? I think we have, say, reduced the acceptability of sexual harassment in the workplace, a real cultural change. Can we change the aggressiveness of boys?
Or does letting them play laser tag and football and hockey allow them a safe outlet for their aggressiveness?
I really don’t know yet.
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Since you’re second-guessing this, I’ll say something I refrained from commenting in other posts where you’ve talked about deciding to buy the games. I don’t know your full story and my perception of how you made your decision is surely incomplete. But the reasons you’ve mentioned for getting them are sort of weird. They’re more focused on fitting in socially than in accommodating your son’s deepest interests. Seriously, he will not be socially ostracized if he doesn’t have first person shooters for his friends to play at his house. (And if he was, really, are those the kids you want him hanging out with?) I have a 12-year-old son with a lot of social difficulties, so I understand the urge to do everything possible to aid his ability to keep friends. But if you’re uncomfortable with these games there are a thousand other ways you can make your house a fun one to visit, and it’s not great to teach your son that you’re willing to compromise your values to be popular.
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I could not agree more with Sara Rain, and speaking as the parent of an 11 year old boy. There is most definitely a positive value in parents not purchasing these games.
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I’d been interested to know if anyone here has read Steven Pinker’s book in which he argues that humanity has become progressively less violent. (Note: I haven’t, and I have no idea if he’s right).
Though even if he’s right there’s obviously enormous room for improvement.
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Why allow violent video games? Because there is absolutely ZERO evidence that those games cause people to turn into killers. Even profoundly distrubed people don’t become violent because of those games.
There is evidence that they raise IQ and spatial ability.
When I was a kid, my parents would buy my brother a cap gun, so he fashioned them out of sticks. They gave up and bought him a play gun and a holster. He loved it so much he wore it to bed. Boys just play like that and it is entirely harmless.
I’ve been working all day and need to walk away from the computer, but the reasons that I might not give JOnah those games are more subtle. They wont’ turn him into a killer, but they do contribute to a culture of violence out there that I find objectionable. And this is how girls fit in. The meanness is horrible. My nieces deal with unspeakable crap every day. I want to make barricades to sheild my kids and my family from that nonsense.
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“They wont’ turn him into a killer, but they do contribute to a culture of violence out there that I find objectionable.”
Why isn’t this a sufficient reason to not give him the games? I think it is entirely enough, and want to support another parent in a decision to not give your child the games for only this reason. It is impossible to convey tone in this medium, so please believe me when I write that I am not in any way trying to make you feel defensive.
And as I wrote above, I also have a son who is very close in age to yours, I am not writing from a position of personal ignorance on this issue. I won’t write more because I suspect it would not be helpful to you.
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I’d be more likely to sign my kids up for a gun safety course at the local gun club, or send them hunting with male relatives, than to give them COD, Halo, Grand Theft Auto, or any of that ilk.
Before you decide yes/no on the presents, visit a friend’s house and watch teens playing a full mission. Or visit youtube. Imagine it as large as your TV screen.
When kids reach high school, they are more likely to hang out with kids who share the same interests, such as sports or arts. Very few girls will hang out with boys playing violent video games.
I was most struck by the “Adam Lanza mother” article not by the fact that she thought her son could be a psycho killer, but the fact that she felt entirely ALONE as she grappled with a children with special needs.
Or she chose to face his issues alone. So far, there’s been no report of his ever having been hospitalized for mental health issues. With almost $300,000 in alimony each year, she had the resources to get help. She had the education, the resources, and the time to take care of his needs.
Granted, I gather it’s difficult to have someone institutionalized in
Connecticut.
We had a relative who refused to visit the doctor or dentist. He was sane, but eccentric. Mental illness carries an enormous stigma. She may have been in denial. I presume we will learn more in the days to come, if there is anything to learn.
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Well, if you say video games contribute a culture of violence, isn’t that presuming the answer to the initial question, about whether there is a culture of violence? I am not sure that our culture has gotten more violent over any measurement period people care to specify. Maybe we have more violent video games, but we have a lot less bear-baiting, fewer public executions, and (I think) less boxing, for example. I would vote for the null hypothesis, that there has been no change in the level of violent spectacles over the centuries.
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y81, do you watch football on tv? Anytime we turn on the tv, it seems we can choose between some cop show and some sort of football (college or pro).
Daily violence may have decreased, but the access to stylized depictions of violence has increased. There’s also the whole bloody horror movie genre, in which one can be entertained by watching madmen hurt others. (I admit I’ve never watched Saw et al., so let me know if I’m jumping to conclusions.)
You couldn’t rewind and watch again the particularly “good parts” of bear-baiting and executions.
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This may be an urban legend, but a colleague told my husband that crime actually goes down after the release of the latest popular violent video game–the thugs stay home from “work” to play the games. It occurs to me that violent video games may be much more interesting than committing real crimes, but a suburban teenager wouldn’t know that.
There’s probably a relationship between violent video games and real violence, but it may be complicated and very individual. I’ve never played those games (poor spatial skills), but I’m pretty sure I could play them for hours and be no more likely to kill anybody than when I started, but you’d have to pay me to play at all. It sounds boring.
It may be that video games don’t cause anybody normal to become violent, but that they make those who do more efficient and persistent killers. Non-video trained killers might get bored and call it a day sooner.
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I’m very curious how many people advocating against giving their children video games have actually played those games. The evidence for the link to violence is weak.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2012/12/17/ten-country-comparison-suggests-theres-little-or-no-link-between-video-games-and-gun-murders/
I already posted this in The Atlantic, but I figured the comment has more of a chance of not being drowned out here:
I grew up playing a lot of different video games on my computer, many of which were very violent. I was a teenager in school in the D.C. area during both 9/11 and the D.C. Sniper attacks. I remember, after managing to pull myself away from the latest bout of terrible news, going straight to the computer and playing those same games to unwind and calm myself. I particularly remember playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto, which even at the time I realized on the surface seemed possibly inappropriate or absurd, yet the difference between what I was doing in the game and what was happening in real life could not have been clearer. Here was an artificial environment with definite rules that I understood, where I had control and the ability to work through obstacles or let off steam. The world, in contrast, seemed unreal, chaotic and frightening. The Pentagon in flames? A mad man, killing at random, somehow evading capture day after day, despite heroic efforts by local and national law enforcement? The games were a form of escape from that, even for a little bit.
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Am I the only one wondering about Adam Lanza’s dad, who appears to have left when the going got tough, leaving his mom with a mentally ill son? Funny how the media is raking his dead mom over the coals and wondering if she did enough to prevent it, but no one is saying anything about the guy who moved away and left the mom to deal with everything on her own. Am I the only one who has noticed this?
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According to the news reports I’ve read, Nancy Lanza initiated divorce proceedings. Divorcing people don’t live together. He seems to have moved closer to his workplace. As he’s a vice president for taxes for GE financial services (apparently a $ 20 billion company), he may not have spent much time at home, even when they were married.
Most divorces aren’t settled amicably with a mansion, $300,000 yearly alimony, and shared custody.
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We only allow our kids to touch each other with permission (even hugs) and we don’t allow toys that would be used for fighting (for instance squishy swords). The reason is that our 10-year-old outweighs her little brother by about 40 pounds and whenever they’re allowed contact, he always seems to wind up being knocked down or squished.
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Surprisingly, this topic of whether or not Jonah should be permitted to play these video games have given Pesto and I much to chew on. He hails from PA, and has hunted. He’s played these games, and even knows the terms “single blah, blah, shooter” (I’ve blocked it out of my head), and claims “the games don’t make you violent.” We don’t have children but this topic has yielded interesting dinner conversation.
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As with so many things, it’s a question of context. How old is the video game recipient? A middle school boy is very different from a high school Junior. I don’t try to forbid my kids from playing such games at friends’ houses, or in the dorm. Not providing such games at home does align with our opinion that some past-times are not morally uplifting. (Sorry for the pious expression.) We also don’t sit around our single television watching Fear Factor, the Jersey Shore, the Bachelorette or Dexter. We do watch Buffy, Star Trek, The Lord of the Rings, The Hogfather, and various films from Netflix. As chance would have it, we recently watched _We Need to Talk about Kevin_ with our eldest.
It’s perfectly o.k. if our kids want to read Lovecraft, Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, or Heidegger. (I did draw the line at Junie B. Jones, because our kids tended to remember things the first time they encountered them, and the grammar is atrocious.)
Hindsight is 20/20. The violent video games can be addictive for some people. Some people can take it or leave it. For others, it replaces social contacts, education, the desire to work.
I would be interested to read the link between these games and girls’ behavior. I think girls’ behavior is heavily influenced by the dominant girls.
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“I would be interested to read the link between these games and girls’ behavior. I think girls’ behavior is heavily influenced by the dominant girls. ”
The study I found suggests that video game playing (playing a lot) can be a sign of social maladjustment in girls (girls who, as you suggest in your comment, are unlikely to be the “dominant” girls). The same study says that it is socially normative in boys, and thus not correlated with maladjusted behavior, in the general sample.
I’d wonder more whether those reality shows and teen dramas (Dance Mons, Gossip Girl, 90210) influence the mean girl behavior. But, I don’t think that behavior can be called “a culture of violence” (though a culture of unkindness might be accurate). It can result in death, though, since a culture of unkindness does contribute to suicide (though it doesn’t cause it the way firing an assault weapon kills).
The data on influence of both television and video games is weak and mixed and couldn’t properly guide public policy. It could guide individual family decision making, though.
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Louisa, I’m with you on wondering about Peter Lanza (see my comment on Laura’s “Adam Lanza’s Mother Viral Blog Post and Backlash” thread).
When it comes to putative psychopaths, we always blame his mother.
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