Check out the cover of Time Magazine. Reactions?
The articles are here.
Gross or Cool?
31 thoughts on “Gross or Cool?”
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Leave saving the world to the men? I don't think so.
Leave saving the world to the men? I don't think so.
Apt. 11d 
This picture is disgusting. Not the breastfeeding part, exactly, but that the sexy mom is the focal point and the child is some sort of accessory to complement her overall look.
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Reactions:
1. Nice mother-bashing features in time for Mother’s Day. The message, of the cover, at least, seems to be: “Thanks for your devotion to your children, Attachment Parenting Advocate; too bad you are you wrong and crazy.”
2. Wow, attachment parenting must really work — that is one very tall 3-year-old, no?
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Well, I let my sons nurse until 4 and 3 years old and I think it’s a wonderful thing (plus they have less allergies and higher IQ), I dig attachment parenting and all, but… I don’t know if a cover like that is good for breastfeeding awareness… maybe it actually does a disservice. I’m going to have to blog it too, that’s for sure! I did post photos of me breastfeeding my 3 year old to my blog back in 2007 during “breastfeeding awareness month”, but they weren’t as provocative as that one, no way. So… yeah, I don’t know. I’m generally in favor of anything that brings awareness to breastfeeding, but I hate it when they keep making it such an “extreme” choice when it shouldn’t be so. 😦
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We were by no means attachment parents, but each of the Raggirls was breastfed for longer than anyone else we knew would admit to(until about their second birthday). And it was never “I’ll breast feed as long as I damned-well please!” It was more, “Yeah, we’re trying to wean her, but it just hasn’t taken yet. Maybe in a few more weeks . . .”
During the period from 18-24 months, it was just once a day or less, usually at the end of the day. And it was explicitly never in public. Infants are hungry when they are hungry, and breastfeeding mothers should be given every kind of leeway. When the kid is walking around and having conversations with you, you can say, “Eat a hot dog and wait until we get home.”
So, I’m grossed out by the title and the in-your-face pose, but not by the breastfeeding child.
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“Wow, attachment parenting must really work — that is one very tall 3-year-old, no?”
Yep. I wonder how hard they looked for a 3-year-old who is at least the size of my 1st grader.
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Maybe attachment parents all get injected with Bovine Growth Hormones?
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That picture is really … different.
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Toddler cheeks as a pastie was the main efect, I think.
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I go for a third option to Gross or Cool: None of My Business. I consider/ed myself in the Attachment Parenting philosophy, but I also work/ed, which seems to some to be antithetical to AP. So I’m on an e-mail list for people who practice/d AP who also work. But basically, that means some people cannot “do” 100% AP all the time, so we just support each other for the parts we can do/want to do. (For example, I could never co-sleep.)
(I keep putting the /ed ending on because my kids are almost 10/13 now, and it doesn’t feel like I practice many of the tenets of AP any more. but I’m still on that list.)
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“cool or gross”
Depends on whether that’s that kid’s mom or not, I guess.
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“Depends on whether that’s that kid’s mom or not, I guess.”
My thought, too. Well, or that they’re actually a nursing pair (I’m willing to allow for the wet nurse option).
But if it is actually a mother feeding her child, I’d go with Wendy’s none of my business.
I’m not a fan of parenting philosophies of any sort. I think we work with the kids and people we are. I’m unsuited to being an attachment parenting parent, in the extreme, but we did use slings, didn’t like strollers or sippy cups, believed in nursing.
As far as the cover is concerned, I’m getting bored, with the “raise controversy/try to sell book” that media discussions seem to have turned into.
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I gave up on reading Time Magazine when they dumbed down their articles and had more photos than words. This simplistic and crass attempt at creating controversy is such a bore – too bad REAL reporting and thoughtful analysis take so much time and effort.
It could have been an article exploring the class issues around attachment parenting (i.e. the luxury and privilege one has to consider this or that parenting philosophy). Or the double bind of “you must breast feed” with “you only get six weeks mat leave”.
But then it’s so much easier to try and sexualize the experience and drum up some drama.
Do I care about people’s parenting philosophies? Beyond the obvious of not doing something harmful, yes I do. But only to the extent that class and economic and race and other issues prevent huge segments of society from having a clear choice to parent how they see fit while then judging them on their limited choices.
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There’s a slideshow of other breastfeeding moms they shot for the cover and, surprise, surprise, this is the most provocative one with the most attractive mom.
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TIME: abandoning serious reporting and analysis since at least 1990.
Childrearing is an extremely complex undertaking. I’m suspicious when I read claims that any one part of the puzzle is the key that unlocks all sorts of particular benefits. I’d rather say if it’s working for you, keep at it, just don’t tell me that we’re wrong for doing something differently when it works for us.
Sadly, many commenters, reporters and pundits seem to be married to the idea that there’s only one right answer and they have it.
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Childrearing is an extremely complex undertaking.
Exactly, so the only reasonable response is Caption Contest.
“The worst part about being a wet nurse is the five year vesting period on the pension plan.”
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It’s a nursing pair–there’s a Q&A with the mother at the website, and she (of course) also has a blog. She’s 26 and the kid is three but will turn four this month, and she also nursed (or still nurses) a child they adopted from Ethiopia who is now 5.
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Speaking of extreme breastfeeding, when I lived in DC and was on the big mothers’ list-serve there, there would occasionally be a thread on the logistics of Fedexing breastmilk home while on business trips.
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Well, you know, if she is a nursing mom, it’s kind of cool, like the Demi Moore pregnancy picture (which has now become a cliche).
(Mind you, now I’m wondering if she ever actually nurses while standing her child up on a chair)
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But if it is actually a mother feeding her child, I’d go with Wendy’s none of my business.
It’s none of my business if you breastfeed your 4 year old kid. But I don’t see how it can “none of my business” if you are doing it on the cover of Time Magazine.
A high fiber diet will keep you regular, and that’s cool. But crapping on my lawn is gross, and I might be calling the cops on you.
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“Based on the poster, I think the new staging of Oedipus Rex will use contemporary costume.”
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“It didn’t take long for the director to regret hiring the cheapest person he could find to serve as Mr. Cruise’s stand-in.”
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The cover of time magazine is not your lawn. It’s theirs. And nursing is eating, not a private activity.
Time, of course, is just trying to sell magazines. But, the subtexts 1) nursing is cool 2) beautiful women still use their breasts for their primary purpose, . . . . are fine with me.
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It just dawned on me that the mom isn’t wearing a bra.
There’s a reason they chose a 20-something for this cover shoot. Braless is not a look that the average 30-something mom can get away with.
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Nursing your kid? Cool. A picture chosen to be as provocative as possible? Gross. Time’s lame attempt to start another battle in the Mommy Wars? Totally gross. I’ll fight this one by continuing to ignore Time.
One thing is for sure – I hope that picture isn’t easy googlable when that kid hits middle school.
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Braless is not a look that the average 30-something mom can get away with.
Especially not while breast feeding, I’d guess.
One thing is for sure – I hope that picture isn’t easy googlable when that kid hits middle school.
That’s sort of the joke I was trying to make above- soon the kid will be saying to his friends, “I was already getting to 2nd base when I was 3!” And the friends will replay, “Yeah, with your mom!”
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It just dawned on me that the mom isn’t wearing a bra.
Once the kid gets braces, she’ll have an underwire.
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I don’t think it’s cool or gross. Nursing is nursing. I did it until my youngest was 2. I wouldn’t have posed for a magazine, but that’s because by that time breasts were like pillow cases without pillows. My kid wouldn’t have had to stand on a chair to reach them. Still today I roll them up to get cleavage. Breastfeeding might be sexy there, but I can tell you as ghost of Christmas future, not so much in the future.
As for the model not wearing a bra. She has no body fat. She doesn’t need a bra. It has nothing to do with age, but body type.
And MH, you are on fire tonight.
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Well, that’s not how you b’feed a 3yo. 🙂
This is basically what I put on FB:
TIME magazine fail. The more I think about it the angrier I feel… I breastfed my 3yo. This is normal everywhere else in the world except the US. This does not need to be made provocative–it just needs to be normal. I tried reading the articles in the issue but felt cheapened, misunderstood, pigeon-holed, and disappointed as someone who basically considers myself AP. #stopmommywars !! Leave me alone, TIME, we’re not some exotic tribe.
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“As for the model not wearing a bra. She has no body fat. She doesn’t need a bra. It has nothing to do with age, but body type.”
Yep, that makes a difference. Of course, those tribal women from the classic National Geographics also had little body fat, but that didn’t help them much with staying perky.
“I wouldn’t have posed for a magazine, but that’s because by that time breasts were like pillow cases without pillows.”
Sad but true.
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Liked this response– http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/no-i-am-not-mom-enough_b_1507550.html
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So they wanted to sell some issues? Is it that bad out there for Time??? Needless to say, no nursing Mom strikes a pose, standing shoulders back with her svelte bod while feeding. And on top of that looking into the camera? I never made eye contact with strangers while nursing either kid for 18 months, so there is no statement really that the editor is making here except “look! we can be shocking!” And honestly, I’d rather be seen with signed copies of the 50 shades Trilogy while wearing my Mrs. Cullen shirt than be seen with a glossy image of nursing being sexualized, so I’m not sure this worked as a ploy to increase sales.
On another topic- I have been reading Badinter’s book and finding it quite aggressive in one respect- calling women who stay at home after earning their higher degrees, “infantile”. But engaging in another respect: quoting results of experiments that conflate some of the pro-attachment parenting science.
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