Letter From a Reader –

I received the nicest note from a reader last week and wanted to share it with you all. (BTW, I love getting notes from readers. I'm really not sure who's reading this blog and why, so these notes help to put a face on the numbers in sitemeter.)

Names and details have been changed to protect privacy.

Laura

 You don’t know me, because I typically lurk on blogs, including yours… Your blog is one that I make a point of reading daily or almost daily.   I love the way you weave the personal, political and academic into a coherent, articulate arc. 

I was prompted to write to you because of your recent post about Ian.  Like you, I have one child who is not a neurotypical.  My daughter … has Asperger’s.   However, she is over 3 times Ian’s age—[she] will be 26 in January.  Raising [my daughter] wasn’t easy.  We always knew she was different than her sisters—she was easily over-stimulated, couldn’t handle changes in routine, had sensory quirks—you know the drill.  What made our situation worse is that no one had officially identified AS when she was Ian’s age.  We talked to the middle school when she was 12 about testing her for a disability and they ignored us because she did well enough in school and her classroom behavior wasn’t too egregious. Even once AS became officially recognized it took still longer for the information to trickle out to our rural area.  In fact, [she] wasn’t diagnosed until age 20, halfway through her sophomore year of college.   

The hope I want to give to you is that despite the late identification, [my daugher] was able to blossom once she reached adulthood.  She is now a PhD candidate in … and part of a lab doing some cutting-edge research.  She is happy, fulfilled and comfortable in her own skin. 

I observe the love, care and intense family commitment you describe in your blog.  None of us parent perfectly—even parenting a neurotypical child is enough to send many parents around the bend. It’s clear that you and Steve are giving Ian a wonderful foundation for the future. Yes, you can read all kinds of horror stories  on the Internet about what happens to quirky, atypical kids when they reach adulthood.  You don’t read as much about young people who, upon reaching adulthood, are able to find themselves a niche where they can thrive.   It happened for my daughter.  I see no reason why Ian can’t enjoy a similar future.