Dan Savage and his partner tell gay teenagers that it gets better. I wish this poor kid had seen it. McMegan points out that this message also works for Aspie kids. It also works for the parents of Aspies who feel their kids' pain. God, middle school and high school are evil places.
11 thoughts on “It Gets Better”
Comments are closed.
Apt. 11d 
We had a suicide on campus last night. The student was gay. š¦
Re Aspies: Eileen Costello said at AANE that she felt it got easier for adults with AS, but someone in the audience got up and disagreed, and she backtracked. I’m noticing a lot of extra support and seminars in our region for adults and HS/college-aged AS kids.
LikeLike
“God, middle school and high school are evil places.”
And, apparently, colleges too. The Rutger’s story hitting the main stream media is pretty horrid. I was truly horrified, but then, I realized that some of the ugliness that I was personally aware of in college was not particularly worse — it just didn’t end with someone killing themselves, or publicly recorded media (and the publicly recorded media was only avoided because it wasn’t yet available).
I think there’s really a limit to what authority can do about this behavior, and that the real trick is to empower both the victims (what Savage is trying to do)and the bystanders. Bystanders are in a tough spot, because they’re often 2nd tier targets with little power themselves.
LikeLike
I think some of the media reporting of this incedent has been a little off. There is not doubt that what occured was tragic, and those two students did invade the privacy of the student who commited suicide. However, media reports seem to suggest that this was a clear case of hate crime towards gays. Nothing stated by the two defendents, either through Twitter or other sources, seems to suggest that they were motivated by hate towards gay people.
Unfortunately, this story shows that people are too quick to respond to news stories emotionally and don’t think about the facts. I’ve looked at some prominent gay blogs, and their rhetoric has been a little too quick to jump to a conclusion.
In any case, I do hope that the two defendents are charged with invasion of privacy…however, this is not and was not a hate crime. People need to calm down and think about the facts.
LikeLike
amathew, I think the “yay” at the end of the first twitter message indicates that the defendant was thrilled to have a chance to humiliate his roommate for being gay. He didn’t say “I hate gays” but I think his words show that this was a bias crime.
LikeLike
“yay” just suggests that he was excited about viewing his roomate in an intimate encounter with another man.
It’s too bad that the American public reacts to events like this as a lynch mob.
I also wonder whether there would be such a huge uproar if the two defendants were not minorities. If two white kids picked on a gay kid, no one would care. But two minorities do it, and it becomes a major issue. There’s been quite a few racist comments being floated around on the gay rights forums, but this really isn’t surprising as there’s been a deep racism within the LBGT community for a long time…but events like this bright out that bigotry.
LikeLike
“If two white kids picked on a gay kid, no one would care.”
I obviously imagined the national uproar about the death of Matthew Shepard.
LikeLike
They directly killed Shepard, so I think that is a bit different. Though I think there would have been just as big of a reaction if everybody here was white.
LikeLike
It didn’t even occur to me that the roommate is a minority. I live in a very diverse city and it honestly didn’t register that his name is non-Western (his picture suggests he is somewhat racially mixed, I guess, now that I look again).
But I don’t think that is the source of the uproar, although I’m not too surprised that some others choose to make racists comments.
I think the uproar comes in part because we are all afraid that someone will spy on us through our webcams. I have a friend who is very technical, who got his first Mac laptop with built-in cam and immediately chatted me and asked if I could see him by default, because there was a video icon next to his name, and he was afraid that meant it was on.
Also, I think many people are concerned about having their privacy violated. And the downright nastiness of what the roommate did, followed by the dire reaction of the victim, is pretty horrifying.
LikeLike
amathew is simply trolling.
Better trolling, based on fact, would be to argue that the Religious Right is actively encouraging these sorts of horrific attacks by opposing anti-bullying efforts as part of the “gay agenda.”
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/08/focus_on_the_family_dont_let_gay_activists_hijack.php
For this and many other reasons, Christian Conservative groups are the true moral monsters.
LikeLike
“Better trolling, based on fact, would be to argue that the Religious Right is actively encouraging these sorts of horrific attacks by opposing anti-bullying efforts as part of the “gay agenda.””
Painting Ravi and Wei as tentacles of the great Religious Right octopus is a bit of a stretch. If you were even a teensy bit homophobic, you’d set a new 100-meter record making a roommate change application.
LikeLike
I wonder about the other guy, the partner of the deceased. I have seen him mentioned anywhere. Probably the best for him, but I wouldn’t think that his anonymity will last since a trial seems likely.
LikeLike