But I'm very sad, because my doggie has to go to jail. I don't want the doggie to go to jail. I want to go to North Carolina Avenue. I want to line up all the money in nice little piles. I want to line up all the houses and hotels in lines. In color-coded patterns. I want to win. If I go to jail, then the car will be ahead of me. That really bothers me. I absolutely cannot go to jail. If mommy walks away from the game in disgust, I'll play my way and take her turns for her. I'll play the game exactly the way I want it to go in my head. I've already planned that I will get an eight next. I will have to arrange for the dice to make an eight. Eights are nice, don't you think? Oh, look. I win. What a surprise! Where did mommy go?
Doggie Goes to Jail
Apt. 11d 
When my sister and I were young, we couldn’t bear playing “Sorry” (a sort of Parchesi variant, for those who don’t remember it), because of the meanness of sending the other player’s tokens back. We invented a co-operative variant in which a monster chased both of us around the board, so we didn’t have to fight with each other.
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Oh, he does look sad about the doggie situation. You mean mommy.
(My son has an official mean mommy card that he likes to flash at me. It’s kind of like a yellow card in soccer. He also puts me on time outs.)
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He also puts me on time outs.
The only thing my son has ever said that got a more serious talk than the time he tried to give me a time-out was when he explained to me that he knew all about cars and could outrun them.
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We were playing this odd Disney-themed version of Monopoly with my girlfriend’s young nieces at Christmas, and it occurred to me that the basically hard nosed nature of the real Monopoly is not really in tune with our age. It actually punishes you for bad economic decisions…no stimulus packages or government bailouts in Monopoly.
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You should watch The Middle. My husband and I *die* watching it, because Brick reminds us of E. He basically has Asperger’s, but the show doesn’t really say the word. Here’s a clip from my favorite ep, involving a parent-teacher conference.
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The last time Kid One said “Papa, you’re going to get time out” I replied “Please don’t throw me into that briar patch.” He didn’t get it, but that’s ok.
Monopoly, alas, lacks a nuclear variant.
(The comment spam from emu boots, above, is almost cute enough to keep.)
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Thanks for that clip, Wendy. Steve and I loved it. This problem with the monopoly has to do with someone still having issues with control. He wants to control me and even the dice. He can’t stand randomness. I understand. I remember in second grade erasing all the answers on a bubble answer key for a standardized test, because the answers didn’t make a pattern. D-D-D-A-C? That’s crazy. I filled in the circles D-D-A-D-D, so that it would be more esthetically pleasing.
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Monopoly, alas, lacks a nuclear variant.
You’ve never played with my brother.
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Glad you liked it, but now watch this one, same ep.
I was at the school yesterday and ran into E’s teacher, who reported to me that he was sort of acting out in library the other day. I stopped by the library to talk to the librarian, and she said “Yes, he was different than he usually is. Usually when he starts acting strangely, he does it by himself, but this time he was doing it to make the other kids laugh.” I said, “So, I’m thinking we should see this as an improvement in his level of social interaction!”
As Frankie says in the clip, Baby steps.
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