Weekend Journal

One last week of August. One last week of me entirely with the boys.

I gave myself August off from school work. The boys finished camp. And it’s just been us at home. Sure, it’s been plenty busy. We had a vacation in there, so the boys were dragged around on the pre-vacation chores and were sedated in front of the TV for the post-vacation clean up. There have been doctor appointments and trips to buy new fall sneakers. There have been battles over computer time and time outs for tantrums. And then just the usual business of life.

But there’s also been great quiet moments on the sofa together and fart jokes and tag. My oldest, Jonah, is nine. Such a fine age. He’s beautiful with his dandelion hair and almond eyes and long delicate fingers. My elfin boy has grown strong over the summer.

Last Friday morning, we picked up bagels and drove to my old town to run laps. He has been watching the Olympics on TV and wanted to test his legs at a real track. Jonah knows that I used to be fast and he’s convinced that track and field will be his sport later, too. Maybe. Ian sat in the bleacher drinking Vitamin Water and cheering us on. We did four laps (with breaks). I’m still faster than Jonah, though not for long.

Ian is six, but his age doesn’t tell you anything about him. He develops at his own pace. Ian is doing what he does every August. He is having a brain spurt. His speech improved gradually all year, but it suddenly went into high gear. He talks to me continually. A sample minute of my day.

Mom? Yes. I’ve got three trains. That’s very nice. Their names are Thomas and Percy and James. Great. [1 second pause] Mom? Yes, Ian. I’m wearing a short sleeve shirt. Yes, you don’t like long sleeve shirts. [1 second pause] Mom? Yes, Ian. [not sure of what to say next] This is a frying pan. Yes, it is. Mom? [concentrating on the paper] Mom? Mom? MOM? Yes, Ian?

This goes on all day. It’s completely exhausting. I can’t make phone calls, because he won’t stop talking. But it’s also so great. He was mute for so long that the sound of his voice is so perfect. He’s making stories up and explaining them to us. He must have been thinking these things for years, but wasn’t ever able to tell us these things. It’s music.

He still has his moments. If he’s upset about something, he turn into Opposite Boy. His way of resisting or protesting is to take whatever sentence you said and repeat it back turning every word into its opposite. If he can’t find the opposite of the word, he’ll rhyme it. For example, "Stop it, Ian, or I’ll take away computer time." He’ll respond, "Go it, Be-an, or you’ll give computer dime." And this will go on until I lose my cool or I just choose to ignore it.

We’re not big fans of Opposite Boy, but luckily Chatty Ian is around most of the time.

It’s funny how Ian’s big leaps in development happen when he’s not in school or in therapy. Jonah also grew up a lot this summer, but in a more subtle way. It really shows the limits of school. This month we’ve had lots of adventures. Some were major — road trips to the beach and the mountains and water parks. Others were more routine. The boys went with me to the shopping mall, the supermarket, the bowling alley and the track. We had a lot of time to talk and to explain things. It’s too bad that school can’t emulate those experiences.

There’s one more week to go, before things get all stressed and scheduled again. My main interaction with Jonah will be over homework. Yuk! And Ian will be wiped out after school. I’ll start work again and the pressure to produce will return.

I plan on being a bit selfish with the boys next week. Just us in our pajamas until noon.