Over drinks on Friday, Steve and I compared notes with a couple of fellow academics about how we juggle work and the kids. Things are easier now that both kids are in school. I’ve got a solid chunk of time, while they’re in school and then a few more hours in the evening. It’s just that when they’re home, things are more intense then when they were babies. More school stuff to take of. More squabbles to mediate. Playdates to arrange. Sports events to coordinate. This weekend was all about kid stuff.
It took four hours to get the kids’ hair cut today. First, we went to the Palisades mall in Nyack, because we figured we could combine haircuts with other chores at Target and Old Navy. There isn’t a kiddie haircut place at this mall, but there is a family haircutter. Jonah sat down in the chair and was done in five minutes.
Ian has a lot of trouble getting his haircut, probably for the same reason that he has trouble with other things in life. This place didn’t have the videos to distract him and wouldn’t put up with up with a terrified kid. So, we had to go to a different mall, the down-on-its-luck Nanuet mall, because they had a place with the videos and lollipops.
He sat in a chair shaped like a race car and watched the Bee Movie. He wasn’t happy, but he did get a haircut. We gave the woman a healthy tip and left. Hurrah!
We came home. Steve did the food shopping for the week and set up the barbecue. Jonah and I got started on his stupid T-shirt Pillow project.
Instead of doing a proper book report, Jonah was given a t-shirt project. The kids were instructed to draw pictures of scenes from their book on a t-shirt with fabric pens. Then the mothers had to stuff it and sew it up. The instruction sheet urged us to be creative and colorful. It was suggested that I bedazzle the t-shirt. Yes, you may bedazzle my ass, Ms. C.
Thinking that it would save time, I had Jonah draw pictures on paper. I scanned them into the computer and planned on printing them out on transferable paper.
Not easier. Not quicker. Much, much more work.
We spent about eight hours on a project in which my kid gained no knowledge, other than the fact that his mother has a potty mouth and can’t sew to save her life. I better get an A on this project.
So, why did I put so much work into this worthless project? Because it was important to Jonah.
At 9:00, when I finally was finished with ironing the pictures onto the t-shirt, I called Jonah to watch me peel off the paper off the decals. His gasped as his pictures and colorful text appeared. He said, "it’s a dream come true." He is going to march into school tomorrow and not be shamed. His t-shirt may not be bedazzled, but it isn’t covered in bleeding ink from an old Sharpie either. And Jonah loves it.
And Ian, despite the drama at the hair place, loves his haircut. He keeps looking at the mirror to admire his new look. He’s proud of himself for surviving the dreaded electric razor. His hair isn’t drooping his eyes anymore.
It’s funny how those happy gasps and smirks in the mirror may a hundred trials worth while.
Apt. 11d 
“Then the mothers had to stuff it and sew it up. The instruction sheet urged us to be creative and colorful. It was suggested that I bedazzle the t-shirt.”
Please tell me that the instruction sheet instructed a *parent*, not a *mother* to sew it up.
I think I may have to write a letter at the beginning of every school year to each teacher my kids have informing them that *I* will not be doing ANY homework in the class.
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“Please tell me that the instruction sheet instructed a *parent*, not a *mother* to sew it up.”
It goes without saying, once you use the word “bedazzle.” You don’t need to say “mother.”
By the way, why wasn’t the project just a t-shirt? I bet Jonah would have loved being able to wear his project to school.
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My experience is that parenting becomes more “intense” as they grow. More interesting, too.
I’ve been on strike from most projects of the kind you describe. It doesn’t always help my popularity with the teachers, but so be it.
The one project I really did get into this year was the “Save the Environment” themed one where we were able to title the poster, “Eat The Bison to Save The Bison” and prepare delicious bison meatballs for the class. My daughter got an “A” for the bison balls.
It seems slightly ironic that I’ve instilled my own version of “critical pedagogy” (notably espoused by William Ayers) in my kids that helps them question and challenge the domination of ridiculous educational practices.
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I cut my sons’ hair myself – it’s not tough to do, it takes less time than going to a barber. Does this have something to do with the fact that they are both looking to grow their hair long? Don’t go there!
Worst haircut event – we all got lice, brought home by our daughter from summer art program, and didn’t know it til we were in Yosemite for vacation. Looking for lice and nits is very tough in longish hair, so it was time for buzz cuts for both of them. Barbers in the little town we were in wouldn’t touch my lousy little guys, so we bought a clipper and trimmed them ourselves.
We have had some pretty successful school projects stuck on our guys, which have had nice interaction with them and some real knowledge – a neon atom made of poly foam neutrons protons and electrons, and a boat model for the truly wonderful Karl Hiaasen tween novel Flush. So take heart, it will get better.
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I hate the projects, too (in fact I think I may have commented on this before). And (shameless self-promotion) I’m about to start blogging about the academic parenting gig over at Inside Higher Ed. I think you’re right that parenting gets more intense as the kids grow older, even if it seems as if it will be less time-consuming — in fact, that’s the topic of my opening post…
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“By the way, why wasn’t the project just a t-shirt? I bet Jonah would have loved being able to wear his project to school.”
My guess is that they plan on using the pillows as decoration at some event. Our school makes pillows in K (though the self portrait on them is drawn at school, and volunteer parents (well, volunteer moms) assemble the pillows, not me, personally, and they sell the pillows for 60/a pillow to raise money).
Perhaps if the school did a better job of describing why they’re making you do it, it wouldn’t be as frustrating (even if it were for a silly reason)?
We too have had good homework projects (the latest one on seeds, that had us hunting down whether different things are seeds — peanuts, yes, cloves, no). (Yes, we’re city folk around here).
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PS: They are beautiful (so beautiful, in fact, that I’m sure their beauty would survive any haircut, no matter how bad!).
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hugs, bj.
Oh, good job, Libby. I’ll check out your post and link to it.
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