After the kids went to bed, I ran back to the computer and wrote a midterm review sheet, printed out two sets of lecture notes, recorded grades on a paper assignment, answered student e-mail. I worked most of the weekend. I took out time to watch Jonah’s soccer game and to go out to dinner on Saturday night, but most of the weekend was about work. Steve picked up the pieces with the kids and the weekend chores. He didn’t have much of chance to recover from his week.
I apologized and said, "it wasn’t a good weekend, was it?"
He asked, "what’s a good weekend?"
Steve is in a down spell about his job. He would like to be home more. He’s not getting home until 7:30 and even later some nights. He would like to be home early enough to lead the boy scout troop once a week, but leaving early is an impossibility. I had to get my mom to watch the kids during Ian’s Back to School night last week.
With our two jobs, the work/family balance thing is way out of wack around here. I’m home to get the kids from the school bus, but have to pay for that time on the weekends and the evenings. So, we’re not doing the family adventure thing. We haven’t gone to the zoo or the city museums in ages. We need some time when we’re all slacking together. Steve and I need to take some breaks from the parenting chores of soccer practice and CCD. (Ian’s soccer practice went much better this weekend.)
We need to make some adjustments though we’re not really sure how to go about that.
Because I think a good weekend involves slacking. It involves a long reading of the New York Times down to the wedding announcements in the Style Section. It involves spontaneous trips out of town. It means good meals with salads and enough leftovers for two days. It means kicking a ball with the kids in the backyard (well, that happened this weekend). There should be time for laughing with friends. No one should wake up until at least 8:00. There shouldn’t be color coded events on the calendar or blackberries.
We have glimmers of that ideal weekend here and there, but it hasn’t happened in quite a while. We’re constantly plotting ways to make it happen.
I liked this Flanagan article on Clinton. A post on it tomorrow.
Apt. 11d 
My husband was laid off last spring. He has two job offers and will likely go back to work by the first of November. It has been fabulous to have a stay at home parent for six months. He goes on field trips at school, helps in the classroom, has dinner ready, does the laundry.
His previous job demanded 50% or more travel. I was single parenting and working. It was too much of a drain on all of us. We are taking a huge, huge pay cut with these new jobs, but it’s a more realistic work schedule for us. Who knows, next year we could be struggling so hard he is looking for a more lucrative job and we will deal with what comes with it.
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My family is just ending a 7-year stint of my husband staying home. He was going bonkers staying home, and I am totally worn down by the sole provider thing.
But wanting another source of income is not the same as wanting a zany schedule, and unfortunately the two go hand-in-glove. It’s a big wake-up call to have a child come down with the sniffles and have it be a family-wide crisis. My husband is in graduate school now and needs for that time commitment to be honored; my job still covers all our living expenses, plus grad school, and I can’t just call in all the time. I’m not sure whether we’re really trading up with both parents working. It’s really more about, how long will it take for hubby’s job to get to the point where I can cut back? Because this two-full-time-jobs thing is nutso.
Guess it’s time to buy some more lotto tickets!
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Good luck working on getting things the way you would like them to be. The 2 career grind can really wear you out.
We used to both have full time jobs but these days I only work part time (and not at all this term, as it happens). Our lives are MUCH calmer, but we have a lot less $$ than we used to have. I agree with you that it’s great to have time on the weekend to chill and recharge. Hope you can work that out!
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ick. I’m also hugely in favor of slacking weekends. (Well sometimes I find that I need my data, but I want it to be voluntary).
Everyone always talks about the money end of things, but the problem is that it’s hard to do professional jobs well without investing so much of your energy that it robs other parts of your life. You can do it for money (Steve?) or love (Laura?) or both (my husband),
I hope you figure something out for everyone. I hope we figure something out, too.
bj
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We are making a similar transition. I used to be much more available than I am, but the new “part-time” job I have this year is super time-consuming. It’s depressing to think about how much our diet and meal planning have suffered, much less our unscheduled family slacking time.
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