As I skimmed the editorial page over Corn Chex this morning, I caught yet another elitist Judith Warner column talking about sleepover camp. Why oh why are today’s parents not sending their kids for eight weeks to camp, she moans? Because they’re too uptight. Which is always Judith Warner’s punch line.
And the response is always, “well, then, just chill out.”
Growing up in a fairly wealthy town right outside of Manhattan, a lot of kids went to sleepover camp. And not the five day, girl scout variety that I did once or twice. The two month, horse-backing riding, scuba diving type of thing. Sure it gave the kids gained a little independence from that experience, but the parents were the ones who got the lion share of independence and immediately boarded the next cruise ship to Bermuda.
We never went to two month sleepover camp, because my parents could never have afforded the $10,000 ticket and because my Italian mother thought it was semi-barbaric to ship your kids off like that. Of course, if she had her way, I would have lived at home until I was married. So, my brother and sister and I hung out the cops’ kids over the summer and had the town swim club to ourselves.
Right now, I’ve got the oldest kid in a town recreation program, which is cheap and no frills. He doesn’t do all that much there. He doesn’t even get swimming classes. But as we drove to his camp this morning, he told me all about his chats with the teenage counselors. He idolizes the big boys and that’s amusing me to no end.
The camp experience, even the most cut rate version, does give kids a chance to kick back, meet new people, and learn corny songs. I’m a big fan. But Judith Warner’s elitist whining about the demise of pricey sleepover camps is just ludicrous. Can we get a columnist for the Times who talks about parenting from a middle class perspective please?
Question of the Day — What makes a good summer camp? What kind of camp did you attend as a kid? What kind of camp are your kids going to this summer?
Apt. 11d 
I was listening to “This American Life” last summer- they had a whole program on camps. It was the first time I was really introduced to the concept of camp that lasted a month or two. Maybe it’s not a west coast thing. Or maybe I just don’t travel in circles rich enough to hear about it. I thought it was bizarre. Why would you want to send your kids away for that long ? Seriously. I like my kids. I want to spend time with them. I want to parent them, that’s why I had them.
We do camp for a week, maybe two. My kids love it, and come
home with all sorts of great tales. They have done scout camp, a writing camp, a Shakespeare camp, and music camp.
This year my oldest child, 14, went to Costa Rica on and educational tour and loved it. She was gone 10 days. It gave her some independence and let her experience another culture on her own. But letting her go for more than a couple of weeks is more than any of us could have handled.
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You persist in regarding the NY Times as a benign institution which would be addressing the concerns of middle class readers if it were just paying attention. It is not: it is by, for, and of the rich. Judith Warner is exactly who they want. Look at their Home Section stuff. To the (limited) extent that they have stuff for us, it is accidental.
We have our kids in a succession of County Recreation and County Schools day camps this summer (except for Little Red Haired Girl, who is still in day care for one last season). Number one has, yes, idolized the big kids at basketball camp. We had to find and send checks for all of these in, I think, March. Like Lisa, we like our kids and want time with them.
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Girl Scout Camp!
One of my cousins went to a pricier long-duration sleep-away camp that expected kids to be there for an absolute minimum of two weeks (a month or more was more common). I begged to go one year because my cousin and I were close. I *hated* it. My parents couldn’t afford to send me for the long duré, so I went the minimum two weeks. I felt like a outsider, excluded from all the giggly girl circles that had already formed when I got there and we expected to last beyond my stay. Also, parents weren’t allowed to send care packages. Anything that was sent was confiscated. I forget why, but it stands out in my memory.
Girl Scout camp, on the other hand, was a blast. After the first couple years, I went for two weeks, but it was two separate sessions with different activity focuses: one week of sailing and waterskiing, followed by a second of horseback riding. The same girls would come year after year, so I looked forward to seeing old friends.
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OK, I’ll come out and say it: I went to sleep away camp. The 2 month kind. I did it for a lot of years. My family wasn’t wealthy, just middle class, but my parents found some affordable camps. Whether or not I liked a camp had to do with how much emphasis there was on sports. I didn’t like sports that much, so I didn’t like the camps where we spent 75% of the day on soccer and tennis and swimming. Later, I went to a camp that emphasized the arts, and that was a GREAT experience. Yet later, I did CTY, which I also loved because I’m a brainy dork.
I don’t know what the hell I would have done at home, and I’m pretty grateful to my parents for sending me away. I mean, my parents were fine, but the town I lived in was small and my friends were all over my town and neighboring towns, and I was much happier being entertained all summer.
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My sister and I went to camp once: a church sponsored us (we were dirt poor, on welfare and still not eating some days). It was 6 days at a YMCA camp, and I had a blast. Swam every day, rafted the river, rode horses, did crafts, sang around the campfire, told ghost stories in our cabin. I think I was 11.
I sent my sons to a daycamp run at the same camp a couple of summers, and they liked it (ages 6 and 9, 7 and 10). We live in the inner city but the camp is only a 45-minute bus ride away (they provide the bus), in a county park next to a river. The older one tried a week of sleep-away camp, with a classmate/friend, and didn’t want to repeat.
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I went to Girl Scout day camp back when my age made me “too young” for sleep-over camp. Then we moved and my new school had no girl scouts. I attended a day camp at the local community center of my own free will then; Mom was home and it was within walking distance, just something to do more than child care. When I was older, I went on church work trips, 10 days of labor and sleeping bags on floors and riding in an old school bus. Quite fun.
I had no clue there were whole summer sleep-over camps until I saw the movie Meatballs.
I understand my younger sisters went to church sleep-over camp, but those are always one-week sessions. I send my two “normal” kids to that now; it’s the same one my husband went to all his life.
The closest special-needs summer camp does have a two-week sleep-over session for kids like #2-Son; but he went for a one week his first year and has never wanted to go back. He said he had fun there; I don’t know if it was the heat, being away from home, or that he didn’t go to the same camp as his siblings and he’d expected to.
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My parents sent us kids to sleepover camp because that’s what they had done when they were kids. All their friends were sent to sleepover camp, too. Not because they were wealthy or because they valued the camp experience in any abstract way. They went to camp to get the hell out of the city so that they didn’t catch polio.
Maybe I’d have enjoyed my own stints at sleepover camp more if the alternative had been exposure to a potentially fatal illness. But I doubt it. Though the two-week creative arts camp was a hell of a lot more enjoyable than the four-week Jewish camp.
I can’t even believe the prices for daycamps these days. All things considered, I’d rather keep my kids home for the summer and save the money for sending them to college.
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“I had no clue there were whole summer sleep-over camps until I saw the movie Meatballs.”
What she said! Even the kids in my Long Island community who did go to camp went to day camp (Usdan).
My dad was a teacher. Some summers he built houses, others he taught at a day camp, but mainly we just hung around at home or went camping as a family. My best friend had a pool, and I spent a lot of time over at her house.
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I’m a multi-generation Californian who grew up in the 1950s in an upper-middle-class family. There were few, if any day-camp opportunities in the little town I grew up in. I went to three different sleep-away camps. The first (in California) was not fun; the second (in Oregon, all girls) was great. I went in 2-week increments. There were a few girls at the second one who were there for 4, 6, or 8 week stints–I remember feeling sorry for them, like they’d been exiled from their families. What I liked about the second camp was the no-structure–I could mess about in boats all day, or stay in the art room all day. the only thing you had to have an appointment for was the riding part.
The third camp was a sport-specific camp which I liked so much I got my dad to agree to let me stay on for an extra session. What I don’t remember if it was for one week or two.
My oldest son refused even to go to day camp. The middle one was more adventuresome and went to a 2-week sleep-away camp and the next summer to a 4-week sleeo-away art camp (both his choice). My daughter went to one two-week sleep-away camp, and then got caught up in summer athletic activities so that was the end of sleep-away camp.
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hey, ianqui, I went to CTY too.
I went to full summer camps for several years. Both my parents worked full time, and it beat the pants off of daycamp. These were pretty classic Adirondack camps — no phones, no air conditioning, “color wars” with Indian tribe names.
We signed my older son up for 4 weeks of 1/2 day camp through one of the local counties. It’s pretty basic, but he seems to have fun. There’s a lot of (really expensive) fancy alternatives for when the boys are a bit older — we’ll see what we do.
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For girls, I recommend Brown Ledge Camp in Winooski, Vermont on Lake Champlain. Girls go for four or eight weeks. There are lots of sports plus a very good theater program. What I liked best was the “freedom plan.” Girls choose their activities (only riding class is scheduled) and live in small cabins without counselors. I went there for years and went back as a sailing counselor.
I think as a baby boomer I valued the chance to get away from my siblings and do my own thing. Staying at home in the summer was boring.
My daughter went for several years, making friends with the daughter of an old friend of mine, who’s now the camp director, and the granddaughter of the couple that still run the waterfront and swimming.
The camp has very, very loyal alumni and is now run as a nonprofit.
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I did a five-night church camp at Fort Flagler in Washington state the summers after fifth and sixth grade and enjoyed it very much. It was the same camp my dad and his siblings went to as kids. We had chapel (twice a day I think), sports, crafts, games, a mock trial of the counselors, etc. The site of the camp was a former army base (probably WWII era) and we slept in the old army barracks. The most unique entertainment was running through the underground bunkers in the dark yelling like crazy. And all this for around $80 for the week (this was about 20 years ago).
Here in DC, it seems like parents desperately sign kids up for week after week of day camps to keep them out of trouble while mom and dad are at work, so it seems to be a big kid version of daycare. I have no idea how the kids feel about that.
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I want my kids to go to sleep away camp if they can (and don’t oppose it). I never went as a kid (yes, they seem expensive), but always knew about them (from books, mostly, where it seemed like the bset thing since sliced bread). I did a girl scout camp for 1 week, and thought it was great. My husband regularly went away for the whole summer (he was raised by a single father). He enjoyed some, disliked others at first, but generally thought he benefited from the camps.
but then, I thought going to boarding school seemed fun, too, from a too fond reading of the girl’s boarding school genre.
What I want to hear more about (ianqui, elizabeth) is the CTY camps. I just read about one — recommended for my daughter when she’s older, and they don’t seem fun to me. But, neither of you say you hated them.
bj
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bj: I loved CTY! I’ve also interacted with CTY teens since, and they seem to still enjoy it today. When you do it at 13 or 14 years old, it’s not like you’re prepping for college yet, so there’s little pressure or competition. I mean look, I’m an academic, right? So I’ve always loved learning. Unfortunately, my SAT scores weren’t good enough for the math and science classes, but I took courses like German and Etymologies and Writing. I really liked learning about things that weren’t going to be covered in school.
Plus, it was fun to be around other academically motivated kids. I really felt like I made connections with the kids at CTY. My first real boyfriend was at CTY 🙂
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Good article. I sent my 14 year old to two sleepover camps this summer so far, but they were both community service oriented. One was to work with Navajo kids in Utah, the other was involved with his Boy Scout Eagle project in Hawaii.
We plan to send him to the CTY trip to France next summer.
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Hurry-up camp
In Camping Alone in the Washington Post, Ruth Marcus longs for the days when camp meant groups named after furry animals, silly songs and lanyards. The modern camp is specialized and short-term; the modern camper spends a week at tennis…
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I grew up in Houston and didn’t know anyone who went to camp all summer. I’m now a nurse in Manhattan and all of my Jewish colleagues send, or plan to send, their children to camp all summer. In some cases it’s the same camp they went to, and in others “my husband’s mother is on the board.” I didn’t even know camps had boards.
I think that people who went think it’s one of the most fabulous experiences of their lives, and people who didn’t go feel sorry for the kids whose parents send them off.
My oldest kid went to band camp for 1 week starting at age 11 and 2 weeks at age 14, and my younger 2 are going to horseback riding day camp in Riverdale. The day camp actually costs more!
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I went to sleep away camp (the upper class kind but I was on a scholarship) and was a counsellor there for 4 summers; I worked in/ran an inner-city day camp for two summers in my 20s.
I think the advantage to camps depends on the camp and the individual child, but the best overall advantage to me is that they give campers new experiences with different kids than they usually hang out with away from their parents. And with high school or college aged kids, which (I think your son has hit on this) which can provide kids with some role models (or anti-role models) as they move into adolescence.
For me, at home during the year I was a nerdy kid with parents who were not into encouraging sports, etc. At camp I had a month+plus to revamp my personality as a reasonably skilled and very social camper. (If poorer than all the rest. :)) I learned a lot about self-reliance and had experiences that helped me build self-esteem.
Some kids were sent to camp to get them away from the drug crowd, which worked in some cases and didn’t in others.
In the inner city camp we struggled a fair amount with what-to-do-with-lightly-trained-staff-and-little-money. The temptation was just to become another babysitting service. But we came up with a philosophy that at the end of the week we wanted each kid to haved: tried something new, mastered some new skill of some kind, and received praise and affection from people in his/her community. We didn’t always succeed but we figured those were good goals.
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I went to CTY too! Astronomy my first year. I wanted to take Ancient Greek the second year, but my mother absolutely refused to pay for that (smart mom!) so I took Writing instead.
I loved that environment. Everybody was a geek–that was the point. Everybody went to study hall. And on the weekends, everybody danced.
(confused) Now they have a trip to France? Gosh, when I was 14, a college dorm with vague supervision was plenty exotic for me.
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Another CTY camper here! I did a week-long creative writing sleepaway camp and it was one of the best weeks of my young life. It was also the only summer camp I ever went to, but I don’t think that’s why I loved it so much. It was such joy to be around so many other smart kids, to be having fun doing the things I loved, and to top it off, to be on a beautiful campus and all independent-feeling!
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I attended a sleepaway camp in the Pine Barrens for a week during my early teens. After the first day, my friends and I blew off most of the scheduled activities in favor of exploring the woods, hunting for snakes, and planning elaborate pranks. We did show up for meals, but we would sneak away before we were forced to sing an endless post-dinner repertoire of Rutgers fight songs.
Forget sports, swimming, or arts and crafts. For me, camp was a place where a good kid had an opportunity to be harmlessly bad.
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Wow. It’s a little CTY reunion on my blog, and I had to google it to find out what it stood for. I would have loved it, especially the creative writing version.
How fascinating that so many bloggers and blog readers went to a camp for the gifted. I’ve got to figure out a way to use this information for a blog paper. Probably says a lot about our demographics. My working title for my next paper about bloggers is “Revenge of the Nerds.”
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Good title. I didn’t do CTY, but I could have. I did have a smart classmate who went there and didn’t like it, but she had signed up for a logic course, and that’s much less fun than it sounds like.
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I went to an eight week overnight camp for many years and loved and and looked forward to returning every year. My three daughters attend a four week camp and look forward to returning to camp all year long. They have a special camp bond and camp vocabulary that seems to have brought them even closer. I think that camp is a great thing. My kids are experiencing things that they never would if they were home with me. Among the activities that they participate in are: sailing, water skiing, canoeing,classes in outdoor living skills, they make new friends connect with old friends and most importantly, navigate for a month with no parental intervention. My husband and I think that it is a great experience for them, one that cannot be duplicated at home. I love that they are together at camp. There is no question that it is an expensive luxery, but one that we think is very important for them. Most of our friends also went to summer camps and we all wish that we could attend camp today!
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I also had to look up CTY, and then became very jealous that I hadn’t done that as a kid. I did Girl Scout day camp during grade school, and went to a week-long journalism camp for several years in high school, which was fantastic. My sister-in-law has set up a week-long writers camp at her college, which also seems to be great.
Smart-kid camps seem to be great for developing relationships of all kinds – one friend of mine who went to one said that was how she wound up going to three proms (and otherwise hardly dated). You discover that there are actually other smart/creative kids who get excited about learning, and feel like you belong.
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Growing up on a cattle ranch in Montana, I didn’t go to “sleepaway” camp. The idea just makes me laugh. Judith needs to do some physical labor besides sitting at the keyboard.
My kids did go to a day camp, which kindly returned the favor by hiring them as junior and then senior counselors. And my older one is working at a camp in Siberia. Camp was a great experience for him because the skills you need to suceed at school (sitting still, paying attention) aren’t as useful at camp as the more physical skills that boys so often seem to possess and so rarely get the chance to use.
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I didn’t go to camp. I grew up in the woods next to a nice-sized lake. The way my parents saw it, there was no point to spending money to send me somewhere else to swim in the water and play in the woods because I could do that at home… and I did. I rode horses (since other people have mentioned this as a camp-ish activity) at my friend’s house — her mom raised part-arab ponies and they let me kind of have one, not for real, just for the summer, but it was better than no pony.
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I went to Bible Camp as a kid, always a one-week sleepaway. Hate to confess this, but by the time I was 14 this camp was all about hooking up. Romance filled the air! (Or perhaps it was the role-modeling of the COUNSELORS who were all hooking up?) I totally loved it at the time. Even in retrospect I think I love it. But a birth-control/STD speech is definitely in the offing before anyone goes to camp at my house.
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I didn’t go to sleep-away camp except for one weekend in girl scouts. That was enough for me. I prefer having a summer on my own terms. My sister and brother both went to one-week sleep-away camps starting at nine years old. They were okay with it, but not thrilled. My oldest son went to day camp when I was working full-time, and he hated it. This was during the years he was 6-8. I got pregnant with his sister and decided to stay home that year, so he got the chance to decide which he’d like to do. He quickly choose home. He and his friends had a great time all summer catching tadpoles, riding bikes, going swimming, taking walks in the neighborhood. He also liked the freedom to read, play with his toys, and draw when he wanted to. The freedom was especially important to him after nine months of school. He grew far more these summers than he had at day camp, which just meant being scheduled and not learning to follow your own interests, develop your talents, and manage your own time. He never complained of boredom. I was never bored either at home during the summer — more bored during the school year. My 14-year-old son attended day camp, and thought it was okay, but was glad it was just a week long. He also is more self-directed and is never bored. My youngest has developmental disabilities and would not function well at camp — even though for kids with developmental disabilities.
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My kids are going to be going to summer camp, but not for 2 months! I think 2 weeks is about right; it’ll do them both good to get a bit of independence, without feeling too isolated. My and my wife are also going to enjoy it, too, because we’re going to go San Francisco for the 2 weeks. I genuinely think summer camps serve a really good purpose; not only do they get kids away from the Playstation and actually doing something, they can give busy working parents like ourselves some time without needing to worry about if they’re safe or not.
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Boarding schools are schools where the students get all the facilities and services by the school management. School always tries to fulfill their wishes and dreams of students. Any students can demand anything from the school staff but the thing should be related to the study.
http://www.teensprivateschools.com/
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