I’m filling out the paperwork for my kid to advance to a yellow belt in Taekwondo, writing out more checks, and wondering if all this is worthwhile. I mean who needs self defense classes anymore. The odds are very slim that my kid is going to get jumped in an alley by someone who isn’t armed. All that “master” and “obedience” talk rubs me the wrong way.
On the other hand, I like that it is man ballet. He’s learning grace and coordination. That’s a good thing.
Steve says that my hang ups with Jonah’s Taekwondo, which I called Karate for months, is that I’m way too blue state.
Question of the Day: What activities are your kids in? What activities did you do as a kid?
Apt. 11d 
#1 Daughter started TKD in 8th grade and 4 years later is working on red/black — on target to test for black belt in summer 2007. I love it for the self-discipline and self-respect it instills. It’s not about the self-defense. She seems to love the tradition, and the man who runs her school is a great role model. She also rides horses.
When she was small, she did an afterschool art class and a tumbling class — both were great additions to her life.
I did a smattering of things growing up — the one that stuck was horses.
LikeLike
Kids are both in YMCA programs as follows: drama, swimming and jazz dance. Eldest also participates in school choir. I contemplated adding in soccer and scouts this year, but gave those a miss due to parental work schedule conflicts.
LikeLike
#1-Son did TKD for a while — it was recommended by school counselors as a way to instill self-discipline. I never viewed it as anything but that and a wee bit of exercise. The belt testing for kids was a joke, just a way to get more $ every two months. It was, as you say, man-ballet and also a place where he couldn’t argue back if things didn’t happen exactly as he expected (he’s thisclose to being Asperger’s).
Daughter did tap / ballet for several years until it became obvious to both her and I that she wasn’t going to be able to keep up with her classmates any more due to both inherited lack of coordination and girth expansion. I didn’t mind when she gave it up (although I was pleased, I did not indicate pleasure or displeasure); recital costume prices were ridiculous and once she started expanding horizontally I had a heck of a time convincing them to order them so that what was ordered in early December would still fit in May. And they were really only interested in the girls who could dance competitively for the school, anyway.
Daughter still plays recreational-league fall soccer. We lucked into a coach who is interested in the girls having fun, who will acknowledge it when the team needs to go to a lower-skill bracket rather than yell and scream at the kids to “play better.”
All three kids have taken swim lessons through the Y. They offer special-needs lessons at certain pools; we had to get them for #2-Son because there was just no explaining to a barely-verbal autistic first-grader that he would not automatically be able to swim when he jumped into the deep end of the pool.
I took dance classes as an elementary-school child. I too had very little talent; ended up in what they called at the time “modern dance.” We lived in Lafayette, LA and I took through the department at USL (which I think may be called something different now.)
I was also a Girl Scout in Louisiana, but when we moved to Missouri my new elementary school had nothing but Campfire Girls. Rather than try to play four years of bead catch-up, or find a Girl Scout troup in a school other than my own, I gave it up. None of the kids did scouts; neither of the boys would have been able to handle it and Daughter was already dancing and playing soccer.
LikeLike
When I was a kid (and right up to a teen shoulder injury) it was all swimming all the time (with a smattering of soccer).
Now with our two boys (just shy of 3yrs and 1yr) we’ve just started swimming, and do a lot of walks and hikes (with a backback for the little guy and inevitably a lot of shoulder-rides for our older son).
I have mixed feelings about eventually introducing our boys to the activity my wife and I used to do a lot of and that we both found deeply satisfying: rock climbing and mountaineering.
Young kids and teenagers make fantastic rock climbers, and it certainly can teach kids a high degree of responsibility and maturity of judgement, respect for nature and a sense of stewardship, as well as getting them in really good shape (without obsessing over competitions, although competitive climbing — with its gyms, and bolted and well-travelled outdoor routes, is now pretty much as safe as many other sports, I suppose). But ever since having kids I feel really weird about imagining us going out climbing. It’s probably obvious to the point of banality to note that something profound changes in the assessment of risk once kids enter the equations of one’s life (although for some the calculations are different).
“On the other hand, I like that it is man ballet.”
This martial art is more balletic (and less focused on competition), imho (but it might not impress many kids attuned to kung fu mayhem in movies and video games — not that that’s your guys, of course, but I suspect it describes more than a few boys enrolled in karate and TKD classes!)
LikeLike
None of my kids ever did any “activities” outside of school unless you count music lessons.
I never did any activities outside of school either then I was growing up.
I guess I always see “activities” as something that people who have money do. I live in a working class community. Kids just hang out and play ….
LikeLike
When did you start music lessons with the kids, jo(e)? All of your kids seem to be so great at it.
I’m in a working class community, too, but town sports are a big deal here. Every kid in the block is in baseball and soccer. It’s pretty cheap though, because the town runs the whole thing.
loren, ack! no mountain climbing with the babies, please.
LikeLike
I did a bit of ballet in early elementary school, a church based girl’s group for several years, 4-H as a sixth grader (with a focus on baking), and long distance running for two years on my high school’s team. I almost never had more than one activity at a time, and I believe there were long stretches without any activities at all. Except for ballet class, none of these activities were an ongoing expense for my family. We had to get sashes and eventually a uniform for the church group, and I needed running shoes and spikes for track, but that was it.
I started my oldest off with a Gymboree knockoff at 1. She’s nearly four now, and we’ve recently tried swimming (a disaster), seeeing a Spanish tutor (mostly just hanging out and watching Dora), and yoga (so far a big success). Since we live in DC, we can actually get away with not doing too many activities right now, since so many fun activities are free or nearly free.
LikeLike
We do swimming our toddler son and pre-k daughter. Daughter can swim; son plays in pool with his dad, who was a competitive swimmer in high school. We like the swimming lesson because it helps our kids transition to new activities (a problem for our daughter, who is hard to pull from one activity to another).
Swimming replaced dance for my daughter when she stopped participating in the dance class.
She also took a drama class, but it wasn’t very good. We’ll try that again sometime.
I’m interested in a whole range of activities for the kids, and each individually seems like a great idea (drama, ice skating, soccer, swimming, dance, gymnastics, TKD (or something like it), piano, a band instrument). But, I’m going to try hard to limit activities.
bj
LikeLike
I have always been fairly insistent that the kids have only one non-school-based activity, although I never made Daughter give up whatever she was doing (dance, swimming) during soccer season simply because I was kinda glad to have a child actually capable and interested in a team sport. But we haven’t found a recreational league for indoor or spring soccer, and it really doesn’t hurt my feelings any.
She and #1-Son do school-club-type after school activities. Once they hit high school it’s almost a must if one is looking to even try for anything other than a state college. Alas, #1-Son is a bloomin’ genius and has his sights set on a career in Physics, which means he really needs to be in a big-name coastal school for undergrad work (after that, he’s on his own.) Try convincing a nearly-Asperger’s that he simply has to show some philanthropy and social ability if he wants his college career to go like he wants!
LikeLike
I wouldn’t suggest TKD. It doesn’t teach a useful fighting skill and it a money suck (new belt every month for how many years?). If you are just looking for discipline, focus, or character, any number of other things can do it for cheaper.
LikeLike
My kids sound ridiculously overscheduled — but that’s mostly because the Israeli school system is insufficient and school ends too early (1 PM!). So instead of having them in an afterschool babysitting program killing time, I let them sign up for as many activities at the school after school as they want.
Son, age 9, does basketball twice a week, a gifted kids class at a university twice a week that changes each semester like an elective (he’s done Greek mythology, archaeology, and now he’s doing game-making, judo, horseriding, and chess.
Daughter, 7, does dance, karate 2X per week, science, and chess.
They also both do an after-school English class each week, to bring their reading and written English up to their spoken level (school English is pretty basic)
LikeLike
I did taekwondo when I was in high school and don’t remember anyone needing to do paperwork to advance a belt.
Blue state? Don’t look at martial arts as “self defense”, but rather as a structured sports and exercise activities in a controlled environment with the added benefit that your child might learn something which will enable him to give the school bully a black eye or broken nose.
LikeLike
Kid #1, daughter, did piano lessons after about first grade (dropped after middle school); various different choirs; soccer during elem., a couple of other little after-school art classes. Now, in high school, most of her “after-school” activities except choir actually take place during school.
Kid #2, son, has done one year of piano (2nd grade, dropped); a couple years of soccer (K-2, dropped); a few art classes here and there (of short duration, 6 weeks here, 4 weeks there); and has done TKD since 2nd grade (he’s now in 3rd) and has his brown belt. I love TKD. I want to do it myself. It’s balletic, graceful, a way of letting off steam safely.
It looks like a lot when I type it all up, but we’ve always done less than most of our friends and their kids.
I did no sports, ever. Took piano and sang in various choirs, maybe after-school drama sometimes. Their dad did sports through school but no “extras.”
LikeLike
Emmy (age 9) just took part in what she vows is her last dance recital yesterday. She may try keyboard lessons in the fall — we leave summers open for travel (and this summer, for training the puppy we got this morning). She tried guitar, but wasn’t willing to develop the calluses, and did gymnastics for a couple of years before dance, which she has done for three years. Frankly, I’m glad she’s bailing on dance at this point — too many pageant parent types. She also takes swim lessons on occasion — a self-defense thing here in a region that has a April-October swim season.
She keeps talking about starting a band, so the keyboard stuff may prove useful — she makes up songs, so it would be good if she could preserve them.
As for me, played football into high school (ruining my knees en route), played trombone badly for 5 years, and started playing drums in 6th grade, getting my own kit in 8th — I still play, but my students have to repeat themselves a lot during discussions; please wear ear protection, folks! Also did scouts for three years, and tried youth baseball a couple of times, getting cut once and relegated to the bench a few years later when I sucked it up enough to try again.
LikeLike
Hmm, I realize I didn’t talk about my own activities. I learned to swim before I was school age and continued lessons until I was certified as an instructor and lifeguard: a useful skill for anyone who lives near the water as I still do, today. I did dance for a few years early in life, preschool and kindergarten, and one summer of softball. I took art classes at the local Y for several years, on and off, then moved to classes at the local art center as a teen.
I conned my parents into starting riding lessons for me when I was about 11 and pursued that seriously until I graduated high school five years later at which point I had to put away my childish things, so to speak, in order to be able to afford the latter (even as a faculty brat).
I also took piano from kindergarten to the end of grade eight and loathed it for at least seven of those years. So my kids aren’t taking structured music lessons outside of school, although they might enjoy having a keyboard to mess around with. Frankly, our house just isn’t big enough to accomodate that and our life is busy enough we don’t want to commit to anything else.
In our neighbourhood, my girls and I are well known. I often take them out to play in the yards, front and back, and have done so from an early age. They’ve played hide-and-seek or pirate adventures in the arbor vitae, drawn ten million chalk drawings and blown a hundred million bubbles in their years. We’re also frequently spotted at the several local playgrounds to which we can walk. I’m a big fan of just hanging loose and indulging in free play — eldest needs to relax more and youngest actually blossoms, despite her autism, indulging in very detailed, imaginative play with her dolls.
LikeLike
When I was a kid, my mom tried Brownies but as it turned out, I thought that the cub scouts were more fun. The cub scouts (I had two brothers in cub scouts) got to play with real knives and climb ropes and build fires while the brownies dicked around with felt and glue. I gave up on brownies and went along with the boys to the cub scout things where I did all the activities despite not officially belonging. (Mr. Spino, the scoutmaster, was a very reasonable sort.)
When I got older, about 11, I did horses via 4-H, which lasted until I got a driver’s license and then took a ten year sabbatical until I got out of college and could afford a pony of my own.
I played an instrument in grade school and high school bands.
We (my brothers and I) also swam, fished, rowboated, and played in the woods. Most of that happened without adult supervision. I was raised on five hundred private acres with a forty acre lake in the middle of it, so access to the great outdoors was pretty much instant.
The thing that was probably missing from my childhood was socialization. If we’d done that playdate thing people do these days or even if I’d spent some time in daycare, that’d have helped matters. I didn’t spend much time with children other my brothers until I went to kindergarden and by then it was, to be perfectly honest, too late.
I do not have children myself, so I can’t answer that part of the question.
LikeLike
My kids (boys, 16 and 19) did these for at least a couple of months each (and some for years): swimming lessons, roller hockey, soccer, T-ball, jujitsu, Boy Scouts, saxophone (the older one), and Hebrew.
I grew up poor. We got swimming lessons at a daycare we were in. One year we got a scholarship for a week at the local YMCA camp, so I got to ride a horse and shoot some arrows, sing songs and so forth.
LikeLike
My kid does synchronized swimming and I take a lot of flack for that.
In fact, I used to laugh at it too, before I saw it’s serious training. Those girls are real athletes.
LikeLike
My little boy does TKD and it’s excellent, the little ones with too much energy get given “excercises” like running around at high speed every so often, it shakes their sillies out.
A couple of months ago he told me a kid had gone to hit him (not a school bully – he’d accidentally stepped on the kid’s foot) – and he’d automatically blocked it TKD style, without thinking. And in addition, that prevented escalation, as well.
I agree about the gradings being a money sucker. But daughter does horse riding and that’s worse!
LikeLike