Randy: [sharp intake of air] I don’t know, dawg. How did you think you did? I don’t know. That just didn’t do it for me. A little pitchy. Not your best performance.
Paula: Let me first say you look lovely tonight. You were a little pitchy, but you know what? America loves you. You’re America’s sweet heart.
Simon: Paula, you’re high. That performance was the worst I’ve ever seen. Your mother thinks it sucked. That’s how bad it was. I wish that my ears had been plucked from head at the beginning of the show and made me permanently deaf, so I could have missed that performance.
Everything about that show is terrible — the bovine auditioners who are egged into humiliating themselves, the dimpled finalists, the predictable cover songs. Except for Cowell. I often channel surf during the songs, but come back for the two seconds when Simon tells people that they suck, because he does it so smartly and concisely. Based on thisarticle about how he sold this show to network executives, it sounds like that brutally honest persona isn’t an act.
Of course, Cowell’s accent also gives him an edge. I had a graduate school friend who said that he wished he could write his papers with his Cambridge boy accent. In class, that accent fooled everyone into thinking he was smart.
Apt. 11d 