I hate board games. I hate waiting for the other person to think. I hate any game that requires me to do mime, sing, or draw smiley faces. I hate reading encyclopedic rule books. And don’t even talk to me about pretending to be a dwarf or a witch.
Playing board games is one of those semi-mandatory parental jobs that I loathe. Candy Land? Might as well poke a sharp stick in my eye. Monopoly? Sharp stick again. War? Both eyes.
Then came Speed Connect Four.
At first, I played the game while giving myself a pedicure. One eye on the game and the other on my big toe. Then Jonah got good and began beating me, so I had to put down the nail polish and concentrate. We started playing faster and faster with him coming on top 75% of the time. Red. Black. Black. Red. Crap. We’ll play twenty of these three minute games tapping into my coke-head personality and my fury of getting stomped by a six year old.
Okay, kid, double or nothing.
Apt. 11d 
As a parent I’ve come to also loathe board-games, also. I’ve never wanted to cheat so badly in my life as I do when I’m forced to sit through an unending game of Chutes and Ladders. Can’t they put a time limit on these games?
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