Reality Freak Night

~ Laura

I’ll admit it. I’m not too good for reality TV. I watch Survivor pretty regularly and a few others randomly. The Biggest Loser isn’t too bad, though I get so hungry watching them work out. Wife Swap has its moments, especially when there’s a mommy cat fight at the end. Nanny 911 is fine television.

Last week, I watched American Idol, because they were running the auditions of the bad singers. The Paris Hilton wannabes and the nerdy guys with their pants hitched up too high warbled the high notes and made the judges shudder. That’s fun; the next part is uncomfortable.

Their utter cluelessness about their lack of talent is part of the joke, too. After a crushingly bad performance, they’ll look at the judges waiting to hear approval and instead are crushed with a rude remark like “you should shave your beard and become a female impersonator.” The contestants run sobbing out of the room, and everyone titters.

Like witnessing a train wreck, it’s hard to turn away.

Ryan Seacrest, that asshole, patrols the waiting room interviewing the contestants and you realize that this contest is the world for these people. It’s American Idol or Dairy Queen. They’ve got nothing else. Nobody says, “Well, if I don’t make Idol, it’s medical school for me”. American Idol is their Hail Mary Shot. How pathetic.

If American Idol showcases the pathetic, the Bachelor is host for the desperate. A bunch of girls throw themselves at the feet of one guy with an enormous ego. They bite and kick to get a chance to tell the hot stud that he’s the light of their light. They compose poetry for him. “Oh, I didn’t think I was going to fall,” cooed one bimbo last night, “but I’m a smitten kitten.” Eeew. Anybody else puking?

I’m not sure what the lessons of these shows are. Always have a Plan B? Get a college degree or you’re screwed? Assume that you’re ugly and talentless, so that you aren’t surprised by rejection? Write blog posts instead of turning on the TV? Maybe all of above.

Published by Laura

5 thoughts on “Reality Freak Night”

  2. Mrs. Nym got me into Survivor, and I love watching them goof up. Rupert digs a hole to live in, anyone? To see someone doing it right, check out Survivorman on the Science Channel. http://www.survivorman.ca/
    We’re not into AmIdol any more, after I found out about the almost literally Faustian contracts they sign I can’t even enjoy the flopping. We have gotten into the Apprentice, though, and Amazing Race.

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  3. I suppose I shouldn’t comment at all, because we have no actual TV reception, and are vehemently against random tv watching. We do watch some tv, however, via DVD: Seinfeld and Lost are what we are watching now.
    Your description of american idol reminded me of thatProspect article on Environics and what it said about American values: “While American politics becomes increasingly committed to a brand of conservatism that favors traditionalism, religiosity, and authority,” Adams writes, “the culture at large [is] becoming ever more attached to hedonism, thrill-seeking, and a ruthless, Darwinist understanding of human competition.” This behavior is particularly prevalent among the vast segment of American society that is not politically or civically engaged, and which usually fails to even vote. This has created what must be understood at the electoral level as a politics of backlash on the part of both Republican and Democratic voters: Voters of both parties, Environics data show, have developed an increasingly moralistic politics as a reaction to the new cultural order.” It sounds like American Idol exemplifies the nastiness and vapidity of mainstream american culture.
    My “increasingly moralistic politics” includes deploring reality shows and television advertising. You’d think this would give me something in common with right-wing moralists, but they think I’m going to hell, so it’s hard to connect.

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