We’ve been in the suburbs for a year now.  Now I know the best place to buy fresh fish.  I know who has the best strawberries and the freshest lettuce.  I know how to get to the swim club and the library.  I know how to back out of a parking space when flanked by two SUVs.  I know the backroads to the mall.  I can use an edger.  I leave the house without locking the front door.  I have opinions on grills.  I have considered running for town counsel. 

Now that I’ve established my suburban creds, I think it is time to make some sweeping generalizations that are sure to offend somebody.  I’m comparing/contrasting life in the city v. the suburbs.

In terms of the kids, suburbia truly is kiddieland.  I’m still floored by how many options there are for kids out here.  There are millions of pre-schools, camps, swim clubs, sports, library reading groups, party spaces.  And compared to city prices, it’s SO cheap.  At this minute, my oldest son is growing strong and tanned at the t0wn pool as part of town camp, which is from 9-3 every day.  On Tuesday, the camp had a field trip to the  ice skating rink.  Last week, he went to a week long soccer camp run by coaches imported from England.  The youngest one is at a free summer school program that is teaching him how to talk.  I take them to the town pool every other day where we see dozens of friends.  Last Saturday, we had a belated birthday party for Jonah at the local bowling alley.  $6 a kid. 

In the city, there was none of that.  Perhaps in the swanky West Side of Manhattan or sections of Park Slope might have some of those services.  But you have to afford to live there.

And, of course, there’s the backyard.  Instant access to fresh air and buddies without dog poop on the sidewalk.  In the city, I could only manage two big trips outside a day, because it was too hard to go up and down four flights of stairs.  Bikes were impossible.

Their schools are five minutes away.  No hour long subway rides.  They have 16 kids in a class.  And, surprisingly, there is some diversity.  Our town has a population of Mexicans.   Suburban diversity is a growing trend.   Of course, there is nothing like the multi-diversity that you find in the city and that is a problem.  However, in our old neighborhood, Jonah would have been the only gringo in a school of Dominicans.  That’s not diverse, either.

However, however, however.  In the city, we had so few options for organized activity and going outside was so difficult, the boys and I spent a lot of time playing together inside.  Just the three of us.  Jonah spent hour upon hour building train tracks, while Ian rolled over on a blanket next to him.  I sat on the futon watching them and reading the New Yorker.  We were three people stuck in one room, but now I sometimes miss that quiet industry.  The kids’ toys aren’t played with that much anymore, and I’m always late for something. 

Then there’s the museums, the parks, the subway.  And though we visit them often, there is still nothing like experiencing them regularly.  Feeling like the Museum of Natural History is your home, because you go there every rainy day with your mom.  The kids and I really miss our daily walks through the park where we would watch  the gardeners tend to the heather,   pause at the hill where you can see the boats sail down the Hudson, and then play in the shadow of the Cloisters. 

Kids probably thrive where ever you plop them.  Even kids in the projects probably have their good days and look back on those years with fondness.  Yet, each situation molds the kid differently.  With  easy access to sports and the outdoors, my kids are going to be different people than if they only had two highly supervised outings a day.  Surrounded by the bland surroundings of green lawns and tufted shrubbery, they are going to be different people than if they were surrounded by lofty buildings, graffiti art, 60 foot neon signs of P. Diddy, subway musicians, and T-Rex. 

I hope we did the right thing.